I had a weird dream last night that was like a lost episode of Buffy. Cory and I went to this party in some kids dorm, and this elongated goat showed up. Ya know, like if a goat was made of silly putty, and someone grabbed either end and strrrrretched it. Only it wasnt made of silly putty, it was just made of a goat. Anyway, this giant orange worm demon from hell was hunting the goat, and totally crashed the party. Literally. It broke all the walls. Naturally it slaughtered everyone there, in order to eat this long goat. There was guts everywhere, I was covered in blood. Torsos everywhere. Super big mess. I didnt stick around to help clean up after though, I got the fuck out of that man. I didnt need any of that noise, know what I mean? I was just there to have a good time. Im kidding, Im pretty sure I was killed by this worm demon. I hear youre not supposed to die in your dreams though. Like if you die in your dream you die in real life. I die all the time in my dreams though, I just wake up when I die.
Anyway, so everyone who is my family, ignore the rest of this blog, but I had to post this.
Don’t even THINK of asking me how I found it, please just assume my innocence. And without further ado, I present to you, a collection of old-tymey sexploitation film trailers.
In case you are nervous, here is a taste of what you may find there. It is a movie trailer for a film called The Weird Lovemakers. Dont worry, this is nothing you would get fired for if you looked at it at work. Everyone in the office will just think you are a fucking weird freak dork.
Speaking of weird lovemakers. Two dudes just moved in on this floor, and, they play super loud music all the time. Cory and I are both pretty sure they do this to cover up their gay sex sounds. Which is fine, but Id much rather hear “Oh yeah, oh baby, you are thoooo thexy” all day than Tatu’s “They’re not going to get us” or whatever they are squeeling about in repitition at 95 decibels. You know what Tatu, I wouldn’t be so fucking cocky, you faux-dyke bitches, because one of these days you ARE going to get it, and Im going to give it to you. Right in your tiny porcelain doll, girl kissing, dirty Rusky faces. Seriously.
Also, The Brother has inspired me to start posting the mixes I do for my Swap-bot swaps. The last one I did was a week or so ago but here it is anyway. Not my best mix ever. Perhaps not even remotely nice to listen to. But it was all the junk I had laying around that didnt have words. I learned that I appreciate words in my music.
Wordless Swap (for songs with no words)
1. La Boulange – Yann Tiersen
2. Thrift Shop Warrior – J. Ralph
3. A Whiter Shade of Pale – King Curtis
4. Ghostwriter – RJD2
5. Shadrach – Beastie Boys
6. Community Centre Shuffle – Low in the Sky
7. Fruit Tree Tea – Robjn
8. Sleepwalk – Santo and Johnny
9. The Lonely Shepard – Zamfir
10. She Woolf Daydreaming – Kid Loco
11. Woody Woodpecker – Dan Deacon
12. Throw it on a Fire – Bell Ochestre
13. Score – Black Grass
14. Moon of Shedding Ponies – Headdress
15. Prelude in C# Minor – Rachmaninov
16. The Crypt – Philip Glass
17. Bestiality – Ennio Morricone
18. Another Ballad for Heavy Lids – Stars of the Lid
19. Farewell – Apocalyptica
P.S Amanda stinks. That was a test to see if you are paying attention. Also I want everyone to know you stink.
ALSO I didnt even go to life drawing class like I yammered on and on and on about last blogtime. Im a fucking failure man. Haha Failure Man. Worst superhero ever. What is the emoticon for bitter regret?