‘Lear M’dear

the Owl and the Pussy Cat
by
Edward Lear

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five-pound note.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,

“O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,

You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!”

Pussy said to the Owl, “You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have
tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?”
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,

His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.

“Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?” Said the Piggy, “I will.”
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,

Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,

They danced by the light of the moon.


Isn’t that a bit of loveliness? That is one of my most favourite assemblage of words. Just had a hankering to read it again, that and The Dong with a Luminous Nose.

One day, when I can draw real good like, I should like very much to illustrate one of these, or both of these. Though they do pretty much illustrate themselves, they are so visual, but I would like to put what it makes in my brain appear onto paper. Nonsense makes me happy. Nonsense makes me gay. But not in that way. Okay maybe a little bit sometimes after a drink or two.

In addition to being drawn to all things nonsense and all things of a kind of general irreverent attitude, I really enjoy things that take place on or near water. Its not JUST a pirate fetish, most of my dreams are set near lakes, when I imagine things I like to imagine them by the sea. I think in dreams water is supposed to represent your sexuality. Apparently, sexually I am cold and wet and let old men pull fish out of me. I feel most comfortable living by bodies of water. The air just smells different when you’re near water. When we first moved here I felt comfortable even though we’re downtown and I couldn’t pinpoint why. I realized that it’s because the air feels and smells the same as it does at my grandparents house in Oakville on the lake. That reminds me of this internet quiz (I know, Im a dickweed) I did a long time ago. I like it because its very short, somewhat insightful, and it deals with basic totems of human psychology which are not alone in the pile of wet nonsense as another enjoyment of mine. Its a popular one so you have all probably already done it, knowing what crazed internet quiz fiends you are. In case you havent, try it, its neat.

Walk Through The Woods

Here are my answers, if you’re interested

1. Monsieur Cory
2. A horrible rat bastard squirrel
3. A stare down. I attempt to control the squirrel’s very will with my mind. Or at least explode it with ultra- psychic waves. Im scared. I hide behind Cory.
4. Small but sturdy
5. No, just tall, spiky trees
6. A pile of wildflowers not cut or put in a vase yet, half read books, dirty plates
7. Shiny, shiny metal. So shiny. It looks to be a 15th century medieval goblet!
8. Pick it up and put it in the trunk of my SUV. Try to sell it later on Ebay.
9. A lake
10. Walk across it barefoot

So according to this I think Cory and I get along like a metal goblet. I turn small, furry, harmless problems into hugely outrageous obstacles that I try to solve with staring and telekinesis. I keep people out with defenses that I grow naturally in my garden. I’m a little bit happy but right now I have many chores. And I’m a horny, modern day prophet livin la vida loca, bitches.

See, internet quizzes are helping us keep it real.

I showed you mine now you show me yours! Thats how it works!

Imma go make a quiche. Outties Playaz.

Crabbia Horrida


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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

10 thoughts on “‘Lear M’dear”

  1. You’re right. You DO need to illustrate ‘Classic Words’. Even classic words, as yet unwritten. Or even unwritten classic words that will be inspired BY your illustration. I’m thinking… The old one’s Classic Words (as yet unwritten) for a start. If not… If he is too close to you… then perhaps my dad’s. Or mine. Oh! One other thing. I would LOVE to see any 100 Acre Wood illustrations you might do. In your special style – And not only because of merchandise ownership issues.x

  2. alright, my answers are as follows:1. doug2. a giraffe3. i pet it4. large5. no fence6. tall flowers in a large vase with a lace tablecloth7. Styrofoam8. step on it9. lake10. swimverrrryy interesting…thanks kara!

  3. I took the quiz-test. Apparently “Alone, goddammit” is the most important person in my life….and number 10. You cross the lake by I won’t. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.Sheesh, these tests are neck-rubbingly true.

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