oOOOh I have very exciting news. You’ll shit your pants. I am very excited to tell you this news. Alas, for I am too tired to accurately portray my excitement via text. After work I worked an event at Roy Thompson Hall, something to do with Adrian Clarkson. What a boring old wench she is. Anyway, after serving nicoise salad and berry tarts to swarms of buzzing old biddies for hours, Im a little drained of my usual piss and vinegar. Strangely, thats exactly what Roy Thompson Hall smelled like… no I jest, it smelled like 10,000 Elizabeth Taylor perfumes and sequined clothes that have been in the closet waiting for decades.
But I digest.
HERE IS THE NEWS!
AS OF THIS MOMENT! Actually as of yesterday at 5pm! I am typing on MACBOOOKKKK AHHHHHHHHHHH
And its mine! Its so fucking beautiful. I get emotional when I think about it. Its just so fuckin clean and sturdy and pretty! Here’s what it looks like RIGHT NOW!
Thats too wee to actually see the vastness of cool that is my desktop, so click that, bitches, and be humbled!!
Its okay, you dont have to say it, I know you want to be me.
Are you ever so happy you feel like surely you’re 2 seconds away from a fatal car crash or you must have some kind of fatal illness you just dont know about yet? This is how I know Im happy. Like Im getting away with something. Like life cant possibly be THIS good without me having to pay in the extreme for it. Mac in my lap, beer in my belly, boy in my bed. Mmm Mmm. Ive never been so afraid for my life!