Fucks to family day! We should make the entire month a holiday! Bleaugh!

February sucks dude. In the morning I wake up just before the sun and begin my day with a low heart and a knot in my guts. By the time the sun is up, I’m feeling a little more frisky, or at very least I can fake it convincingly enough for my endless series of 2 minute interactions with customers. Then I come home and just want to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. Dreary, I know.

Today was such a day. As I lay on the couch at 8pm in a daze, feeling February in full force, deciding the world petty, unlovely and ignoble, it took the strength in me to get the feck off the damn couch and do something. I find when these types of moods find me I can usually scare them away in only a few ways.

1. Make a cup of tea and go to bed, but thats a cop out

2. Take a walk, with music in my ears, the colder the breeze outside the better

3. Make some food! Making food for someone you love is good karma, even if you’re the only one around. So clean out the wilty vegetables in the stinky little drawer in the bottom of your fridge and make some nice warm soup. Look in the cupboards, even if theres a box of Duncan Hines Rainbow Sparkle cake mix from 1997 or Betty Crocker Brownies, it will fill the place with food smells and make you feel like you’re actually living in a home instead of a cold little blue cage. Ahhh sweet relief.

4. Drinking, Gambling, Illicit Sexual Encounters

Feeling February the amount that I was the only thing I could do to combat it was to perform the first three of these options with haste. The last one is too expensive. So I got out of my Fruit Loops jimjams, put on some actual pants and took a jaunt down to the Super Bee on Carlton for a couple of potatoes. I came home, made a cup of tea, put on some loud music and started chopping some goddamn vegetables. Here’s what I made!

Kara’s “Die Die February Die” Corn Chowder

3 yukon gold potatoes
1 large onion

2 tbsp butter

1 vegetable or chicken bouillon cube

2 cups corn kernels
( I used 2 ears of peaches’n cream and half a can of Green Giant like a cheater!)
1 1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup cream (light, half and half, whatevers on hand)

1 tbsp brown sugar Good pinch of thyme Less good pinch of cumin
Salt and Pepper
*Glug of cheap white wine, optional
*Bay Leaf, optional

Peel and chop the potatoes up into very small cubes. Toss them in a pot and add the bouillon and enough water to cover. Cook for 15-20 minutes or until potatoes are almost tender. Meanwhile chop the onion finely and sautee with the brown sugar and a pinch of salt until soft and caramelized. When you have the potatoes right where you want them, add in all the other ingredients. Simmer for about half an hour. Add salt, pepper to taste. Eat with warm garlic bread. Mmmmmm..


The Circle Jerks – Put A Little Love In Your Heart.mp3

Ben Harper – She’s Only Happy In The Sun.mp3

Andrew Bird – Happy Day.mp3

Violet Vector and the Lovely Lovelies- Can You Dig It.mp3

Gorillaz – Bill Murray.mp3

Rza and Vincent Gallo – Something I Want.mp3

Now Im going to watch Saturday Night Live while Cory uses the awesome camera angles of World of Warcraft to show me that all the animals in the game lack bum holes. Fun!


Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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