Sunshine, Moviestar: Sweet Dreams!


I can’t even be bothered to slice my bread today. Fuck it, I’m just chunking it off! CHUNK CHUNK CHUNK.

I am a forceful chunker.

Dear Internet,

Today was a pleasant day. Filled with carrot cake and marzy-pan roses. On the way home an old lady stopped to tell me how important it is to wear my gloves and wool socks. Always always I must keep my body warm. And when that time of the month comes, when that most painful time comes, I must mix ginger in boiling water with a bit of brandy and everything will be okay. She also advised me to love my mother and to avoid breaking my hip. Nice!

Yesterday a Rastafarian on some sort of chemical mood enhancement system told me that he is going to call me Emily. In the park a giant stinking man that reminded me of the clown from Spawn The Movie tried to steal my lemon chiffon cake. His breath smelled like some corpse left to rot in the sun.

GIVE ME THAT PIE LITTLE GIRL!


I may or may not have to be at work in 4 minutes. By the time I find out I shall already be late.

PAH-Luh.

P.S Your mom officially now looks better in jeans than Jessica Simpson.

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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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