Some of my friends are Straight Edge

Ha. Fucking excellent.

Man. I’m bushwhacked. I worked two shifts today in my respective foodly areas; food shop and pastry department. Around 7pm my uniform magically turns from black to white causing everyone around me great confusion. “Is black Kara the same as white Kara? Why is she different? Why isnt everything the same still? Is white Kara going to hurt me? WHY ARE MY PANTS SO WET!?”

Before that my morning consisted of such adult duties as doing my taxes and switching to a high interest savings account. WAAAHHHDeeeattthhhhhh..

NOW I am drinking white wine out of a dirty mug, texting B-Bot to bring home some pop, and.. yeah.. I thought so. I smell like a meat pie.

OH! Yesterday I saw a dead thing! Tra la la! Death and taxes, d00d.

It was a dead cat. I knew this cat too, this was a cat friend of mine. Only last night it looked not like a cat but like a cat shaped object. It was very strange. What used to be a chubby angel faced kitt-o was suddenly horizontal, stiff and missing half it’s angel face. I saw her eyeball in its entirety. Never having seen a dead thing before I was surprised by my realistic reaction. I felt horror! Real life horror! It was like.. fear and paranoia and gross all missed together. Mostly paranoia. I ran home convinced this was an omen of my doom and destruction. A coffee cup blew into my foot while I was running and I made a bit of poo in my pants thinking it was The Devil come to cut a hole in me from which to take out my soul for keeps. Phoo..Big day for me..

Now I’m going to have some pop and dream about punching you in the face. SEE YOU, FOOLS!

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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

2 thoughts on “Some of my friends are Straight Edge”

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