Butter Feet

“The Sun’s not yellow, it’s chicken” – Bob Dylan

This is the actual colour of the sun! This is a picture I took with my camera to prove it. It’s not even yellow like I have been drawing it my ENTIRE life. Sunshine Yellow crayons? Sticks of waxen lies. Its kind of a pinky white. Actually it kind of does look like a nice pale uncooked chicken. #fff5f2 is the hex code for all you NERDS!

So Pluto isnt a planet and the sun is not yellow, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHATS HAPPENING!?

Yesterday when I was baking cookies I needed to bring 2 pounds of butter to room temperature relatively fast. So, being the smart COOKIE (lolllz0rs) that I am, I placed them on top of the radiator! Because its hot, right? Yeaaah. And then I baked 6 dozen cookies… At the 7th dozen I turned to retrieve my butter to find my living room floor flooded with a gleaming golden swamp of unsalted Gaylea. Fuck. Although my floor looked quite lustrous. So I quickly mopped it up, cursing loudly and slipping all over the place while the kitten lazily watched me, judging me for my life choices.

Also sidenote, buttery feet smell disgusting.

Later that evening I was watching a television show with my brother in his room. I left to grab something from my room and while talking to him went to look at the window. Forgetting about the fresh coat of lacquer I applied this morning, I, while talking, slipped, slammed against the hot radiator and flew out of the open window. Luckily I caught myself on the ledge. I nearly died midsentence. No shit, I went nearly clear out of the window. It occurs to me now that my last thought in this world would have been “BUTTER!!!!” Bobby wouldn’t have even known, he would have still been talking to me. Tragedy averted. So let this be a lesson to you.. I’m not sure what the lesson is. Butter will get you one way or another??

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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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