I fit right in! Like my cock in your mother!



Why hello there sexy thing, come here often?
Of course you dont cause theres fuckall here.

Well, that’s not true anymore is it.. cause now there’s this. So read it.

Ive been gone for a while. A blog is awesome when you have an hour to spare here and there and want to share some random shit with whichever random shit happens to read it. But since February I have made a point to make and keep myself seriously busy. I mean deadly serious. I mean keel over dead serious. 4real.

But. It has become overwhelmingly apparent that it is now June. In fact across the world my dearest thing is having its birthday and will later be filling its furry face with dutch beers and blue cheese mussels. This day was kind of like a marker for when I can start to come back to real life and stop being robot Kara trying to make time go by as fast as possible. So to celebrate Im doing what any newly born into the world thing does.. laying around crying, covered in my own mothers blood. That’s a lie, I’m just writing a blog. But how fucked up and evil are babies?

So, one job turned to two jobs, which turned into, briefly but not briefly enough, three fucking jobs. And now Ive pared it down to one. The best one. Im in love. I’m keeping it. It lets me begin every morning by stocking a cafe with muffins, cookies, scones, cakes, CUPCAKES BROWNIES– woah okay.. see, its a nice way to start the day. Even if its at six am. And then I spend the rest of my day, creating things. And trying hard not to burn shit. “It’s not cookies burning you smell! You are all having seizures!”

My favourite part is that on mondays and tuesdays I am in charge of making the staff meal. So I just poke around in the walk in fridge, grab what seems to be in abundance, and start making whatever I want. Fucking brilliant. At the end of the day my white uniform is covered in raspberry blobs and cocoa powder dustings, smears of chocolate, bright streaks of buttercream. I strip the Van Gogh off my belly and enjoy a nice bike ride home. Sometimes you just have to tell the universe exactly, in perfect glowing detail what you want so it knows what to give you. I’m pretty happy.

Today aside from a nap and some good birthday chats I have started organizing things for the move in July. The antonym for my apartment right now is “order”. Synonyms include “stink” and “sucks”. I started on all this without realizing that once I pulled everything out and laid it in as many unorganized little piles on every flat surface, that I lacked boxes to pack it in after. And now its raining and boxes are OUT OF THE QUESTION! So Im laying here, in and on piles of clothes and books and tea and important papers, writing this. My body is at many awkward angles in order to accommodate this. I may not be able to get up.

Oh. I can. Success. Okay Im going to go eat some cheese and fart around for a bit. Peace out!

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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

7 thoughts on “I fit right in! Like my cock in your mother!”

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