Some how.. some way.. I am now watching wrestling…
The television lulled me in with an action packed episode of McGuyver, wherein he liberates the entire population of China using just palm fronds and gusto, and now Im watching guys in very small underpants tossing each other around. HOLY SHIT. On the television, as I type, there is a guy with A GINGER BEARD, wearing a t-shirt, and no pants, just tiny underpants. THAT IS THE GROSSEST COMBINATION OF THINGS. I’m too busy puking in my pants to finish writing this sent–
Okay, it’s cool, I’ve left the room. Phew. That was.. getting pretty out of control.
Anyroad! I have many awesome things! Firstly, CB, Rosie and I went to the market this morning, and I fell in love with an angel.
A strawberry angel man strumming a guitar and bringing tears to his eyes causing his mascara to run. Its the most beautiful little thing Ive ever seen. And then I found a little blue terracotta cat and they were a match made in heaven. Rosie had to lend me a dollar to buy it cause I’m poor and have no dignity, but hes all mine now! I wandered around the market behind Rosie and CB staring down at my beautiful little strawberry angel and I almost missed out on this awesome 70’s coloured crock pot! This nice old lady with knitted gloves wrapped it in a tea towel for us and we took it home. Oh Im gonna make so many baked beans, and oatmeal, and ribs, and stew and soup and.. other sorts of things like that! Woo!
And then we went home to put laundry on and clean up.. yaddayaddayadda boring
But then.. we’re at home.. and our room is so messy and dark.. and I kept looking outside at the gorgeous winter day, with the sun shining and the warm breeze and the butterflies landing on the noses of frolicking baby lambs… So we went back out!
We went to an Asian supermarket and bought some miso soup paste, seaweed and green onions for miso soup snacks. Then we went to the Chinese candy store! We walked in and the lady says “Oh good! So happy to see you! I like you! I like you being here! Happy day!” and opened all the packages of candies and made us try them! IT WAS AMAZING! Some candy was actually pork though, which was startling… and some candy was very very salty plums.. and some candies were extremely sour. In the end I bought some chewy melon candies and a bag of “creamy prune” candies. Mmmmm Creamy Prune!
Then we stopped for some lunch at a Chinese restaurant. I was hoping for dumplings but they didnt have them so I got a “hot pot”. Probably the worst decision of all time.
There it is. It looks gorgeous, but don’t let that fool you. It was about 600 degrees. That red film on top is bloody chili oil that sticks to your lips and simultaneously burns and cooks them. The spoon is infuriatingly incapable and trying to wrestle slippery oily vegetables into my mouth with chopsticks was not working well either. Trying to scoop out the glass noodles at the bottom of the bowl, keep them teetering at the end of my chopsticks and furiously try to slurp them up before they fell back into the bowl or all over the table usually ended up with spicy hot noodles in my eye. Fuck it, I’ll just pick the damn bowl up and drink it like a giant cup– AHH ITS 1000 DEGREES AND WEIGHS 15 POUNDS! Why is it so heavy! There’s soup everywhere. My nose is running from the spiciness, Ive got bok choy in my bra somehow. Christ almighty. CB was having a great old time watching me try to conquer my soup while he ate his normal pork so easily with his mouth not even crying. ARGH! It was like torture soup! I put my head up and cried to the sky, angrily stabbing my soup with my chopsticks and growling. AAAAAAAAHHHHH! SOOOOOOUP! WHYYYYY!!!
So I gave up and just ate all my candies.
And now here’s Gracie!