Look what I made! Ignore the explosion of ash and the 5 or 6 potential fire hazards and just admire my amazing kindling. I just went outside and cut that, with an AXE! Yeah, I am a BAD ASS! Bold italic underline font colour=bloodred!
Im so glad no one was watching me do it… But by log #10 I think I had gotten the swing of things. Look how slender and even those little kindlings are. Look at that roaring beauty! It only lasted about 10 minutes, but Im working on it. I had just got it going and was shouting congratulations at myself, “Hoo-rah! What a stud! Making it burn, baby! Youre the best caveman. Natural Selection Chooses You, Cavemon!” etc, and I look back and the poodle is drinking my tea. Goddamnit.
I went to Kmart today and had a party with myself buying a file organizer, some q-tips, and a SKIPPING ROPE! WOOO! Since I got back I have been trying with all my might not to kill these bloody poodles. Everytime I look away from them they are shitting on the carpet, ripping open garbage bags and spraying rotten meat juice all over the floor, breaking something, eating my yogurt, and now the last fucking straw, drinking my goddamn tea. The sound of them constantly licking themselves makes me want to puke out my ass. I have started using the coaster on top of my tea instead of under it. I’m pretty sure I can hear one of them on the table in the kitchen eating all the butter. Im about to have a rage embolism and die and I know they will celebrate by eating my eyeballs.
I gotta skip this out.