This is how Im writing this blog post.
Absolutely covered in poodles.
Actually Im not even 100% it is my hand typing this. I think it’s actually Sophie’s left paw. I cant even see the screen. Another thing I noticed is that these poodles need a bath. They smell like POOdles.
Just taking a break from doing the never ending barrage of dishes. I like to wait 5 or 6 days, until I find myself just pulling apart pieces of cheese standing over the sink because there’s no clean knives or a flat surface to cut on. Land o dirty plates.
Which brings me to this declaration. I think, Louie Louie by Toots & The Maytalls, just may be, THE song to wash dishes to. It’s really made the operation pretty great.
Scrub a pot, sway the hip, remove that stuck on grease and grime, dish pan hands, yeah man. Saxophone!
When I do the dishes.. which is rare. I like to let them soak, while I dick around on the internet. Watch some Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child, remark on her remarkableness to nobody. Then slowly, tenderly, clean each dish, one by one, and let them sit on the drying rack until they are dry. No towel drying for this bitch. Type an entire blog post. And then get back for round two. This process will take up the better part of my afternoon.
During my break Im having a bit of the soup I made from the last remaining foodstuffs in the house. I call it Pea & French Fry soup. Take some soup stock from the freezer. Add in the remnants of rice you can shake out of the container in the cupboard. It’s mostly dust, but dust is mostly old skin particles, and that’s your protein, boys! Boil for a bit. Add in the one kind of lone, squidgy, carrot that you find miraculously in the bottom drawer of the fridge where it obviously went to die. Wiggle it around rudely for a bit, laughing by yourself, make sure no ones watching. Feel shame. Chop and add. Throw in the rest of the frozen peas that you find becoming one with the frost in the bottom left hand corner of the deep freezer. Yum. Then toss in the rest of that old bag of McCains crinkle cut. Dont remember buying them, will definitely remember eating this memorable, satiating soup. Last finishing touch– a whole bunch of salt cause this shit is tasteless!
Warm and comforting, french fry soup.
God we are so The Poor that everyone keeps talking about.
Then I think, even the great Honey Boo Boo Child, has probably eaten her share of french fry soup.
ROUND TWO! Here I come, casserole dishes from last weeks chicken parmigian! YOU’RE MINE!