International Fart Blog

Well.. it’s done.

We chopped it off.

That luscious mane of deep chestnut, glinting with strands of gold in the sunlight and falling around CB’s head so beautifully it looked like he stole it from a Disney princess… is now, but melon stubble.

R.I.P Disney Princess Hair. R.I.P

It doesnt look like too much hair when it’s on the ground, but I swept it up and it was nearly a pound of hair. A POUND OF HAIR!

Looking back I should have kept it and sold it for a million doll hairs…

Anyway, just thought I would document the momentous occasion. I don’t have much else to blog about today, it’s been a crazy week. Work work work. But I did get out while it was still sunny outside today, which was a bonus! It’s a gorgeous full moon outside, and very humid. The air smells like hot summer. Well, outside. Inside it smells like the bag of old Up & Go cartons I forgot to through out and have decided today was the today they would all rot in unison creating an Ultra-Funk that I smelled from the garage. Oops.

Now Im just settling into bed, having a nice snack of cheese and crackers and listening to Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Yom yom. A small block of aged cheddar was on sale, and CB nearly put me in a headlock to keep me from blowing our last few moneys before pay day on cheese. But whats cheddah for if not to purchase cheddar? Dolla dolla bills y’all.

So we’re broke now, but I have cheese, so it doesn’t matter.

Also, in the parking lot of the grocery store on the way to get cheese, I made CB give me all kinds of hugs, and a teenage girl drove by and hooted at us! OH MY!

Also, going to start a company that makes crackers called Kerkers. Its the sound of someone saying “crackers” with a mouth full of crackers! GENIUS. They will come in two flavours, “The Regular Crunch” and “Jeez Louise” spicy piquante flavour. I’m really tired.

P.S One time, when I was but a wee spazz, I was sitting in the car being driven somewhere to do something cool with my Bapa. It was near christmas, and I was eating some gingerbreads because he was a bakery supplies salesman and got all kinds of cookies for free which I ate all of. He asked me how my gingerbread was and I said “hmmm crunchy”and then he told me, very seriously, that he believed that the word “crunchy” was one of the most useless words in the English language. And I probably think about that once every couple of weeks. Because it is probably the most USEFUL word in the English language. How else are you going to describe something as crunchy? Unless he said “useful” and I misheard him in which case.. sorry, Bups.

P.S

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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

2 thoughts on “International Fart Blog”

    1. Cheese = Life. Life = Cheese. That is just plain math. Word math.. YEAH we actually looked into wig makers/cancer research type donation thing but it was weirdly complicated and we had to mail our hair to a company and they would send us a cheque and well.. too much work. It did feel like a waste though, maybe next time we’ll give it to a bald eagle. *straight face.*

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