Butt Buttler

Hello my little spicy beef fajitas!

These last 3 glorious days off were full of adventures! Not so much really, but we did get out to do a few things.. we took a drive up to a place called Kaukapapa, about an hour north of here. Not much to report on really. Got a nice picture of some chickens! Had a severely disappointing meal at an otherwise really promising restaurant we drove passed and actually reversed back to get to called Black Petes. And I am still having trouble reversing in my manual Honda, so that was kind of a feat. I ordered the garlic mussels before I realized the place didn’t have a cook, and then we watched the waitress prepare them at the bar……. BUT here we are, still alive! Try again, Black Pete!

Oh another highlight was using the robot bathrooms in Hellensville! Just outside the pharmacy on the way to the train station are these 3 silver rooms. You press a button and the door opens, and says “Welcome to Execon Bathrooms, please make yourself comfortable, your maximum occupancy time is ten minutes…” and then right away I feel intense pressure that this robot butler is sitting there waiting, timing my 1’s and/or 2’s, and I clench all up– but then the sound of some smooth, smooth Burt Bacharach starts playing all around me and all my troubles are flushed away..

It was a nice drive, blasting the O.D.B and handling the ol’ stick like fucking speed racer. It was nice to get the driving practice in and get comfortable with it. I spent the last three days convinced every cop siren I heard was the popo coming to finish what they started after my Driving Incident the other day. At one point two cop cars blew by us on the highway, parked beside me on the off ramp and then a police helicopter was circling over head and I thought for sure they had me. I was about to pop it into 5th and floor it it (instantly stall out an roll into the police cars more like..) but it turns out there was actually some jackass evading arrest or something.

A completely useless but nonetheless special skill I’ve always been secretly proud of is my ability to find four leaf clovers. When you’re a kid who is about as interested in hanging out with other kids about as much as they want to hang out with you, you get really well acquainted with the landscape. I spent a lot of my time mindlessly pacing the school fields, eyes like lasers scanning each blade and leaf for anomalies and subsequently ending up with pockets full of rocks with a high cool factor, four leaf clovers and probably a lot of squished bugs. For a couple of grades I was also convinced that I could control the level of wind around the school yard with my mind… but that’s another psychological can-o-worms. When really I can’t even control my own wind ha-HAH!

ANYWAY! I found a four leaf clover and went to add it to my little clay hippo-dog thing and found it COVERED IN ANTTTTSS! I mean covered, in hundreds or maybe thousands of hundreds of ants with little wings. John told me that they are the boy ants who are looking around for lady ants with big booties with which to start new colonies or something. Naturally. So I left my four leaf clover to bring them luck. It’s started to look like some creepy pagan effigy of an insect god… so now I probably have the power to summon legions of winged horny man ants, in addition to wind control and finding fortuitous herbage.

It’s been gorgeous the last few days though. So sunny, with a nice breeze. The air smells like flowers and a couple million people’s fresh laundry. It actually smells like a billion pollens, and CB has had the worst allergies. He’s read an article and has convinced himself that it’s actually brain fluid draining constantly from his puffy red nose.. blech.. if his brain is that damn soggy it’s better he drain a little off anyway I think.

Mostly we’ve been hanging out, drinking shandy’s. Lemonade and cheap chinese beer, mmmmm…

Spending a lot of our time here, on Rosie’s giant brown couch that feels like you’re laying on a giant teddy bears belly. Oh so comf.

Rosie is obsessed with these garlic stuffed olives, and now I am too. Mmmmm.. salty fatty garlicy goodnessss

I bought a pretty dress! And a pair of shorts, finally! And we got outfit for the company christmas party that consists of a red cardigan with black polka dots and a black skirt with a red stripe, and gold sparkly tights.. class.

This is the dress. And totally me modelling the dress 100% for sure. *supermodel*


Got to skype with my family for an hour or two this afternoon. My gram is having some surgery on her eye so is staying with my parents, and my sister is at home so I got to talk to EVERYBODY! And next week my brother is home for christmas, so I’ll get to chat to him too. I keep forgetting it’s christmas here, it’s just so warm and sunny. I have a sunburn, and it’s christmas, what the hell.

Oh baby I like it raw. CB made us a lovely dinner of juicy red lamb steaks, potato & bacon hash and cauliflower with nutmeg.

Sizzle, Sizzle, little lamb!

Immediately after dinner we set off on an adventure! Down the street to the dairy to get a chocolate bar! What flavour shall we pick? Only fate will decide!

This is CB’s favourite dairy. It’s run by an Indian family who are all very nice, and is my important source of chocolate bars in the neighborhood. Also, eggs, milk, and CELEBRITY SURGERY SECRETS!

They sell some nice flowers

And a cool door!

Thumbs up, roses!

This is my favourite house on our street. It’s right at the corner, and has huge arches, crazy brickwork, a working windmill and a bunch of other cool junk too. I think, they may be some kind of Dutch.


Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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