Ham Drunk

Just a quick one to say Merry Christmas to everybody! Work has been brutal, as it usually is this time of year, so it was extra nice to come home to a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeautiful ham dinner, care of my CB. Even Wyatt the cat couldn’t resist running off with 2 entire slices of ham with a giant goofy cat grin on his face, stoned out of his gourd on catnip! Cooked slowly for hours, basted with pineapple juice every 10 minutes.. it had this sticky crispy crust of carmelized meat like goddamn ham candy.. oh god.. So good.

What a spread!

Last night, following my favourite German tradition of opening presents on Christmas Eve, I came home from work to open our PRESENTS! From CB’s parents I got a Canadian themed mug with the phrase “May I have Double Double and a maple glazed s’il vous plait” and socks, and underpants aaaaaaand a t-shirt with Mrs. Potato Head on it that says in HUGE letters “JUNK IN THE TRUNK”. I’m pretty sure I can’t wear straight faced in public but I laughed pretty damn hard for a good solid minute when I unwrapped it. So CB and I put on all our christmas underwear and socks and t-shirts and sat drinking baileys and milk out of our christmas mugs. Thanks Arlene & Bill!!!

In the morning we got a sweet little box of individually wrapped Summer Survival items from Rosie and John, rain ponchos and freezies and a zinc stick which APPARENTLY isn’t meant to be warn as lipstick and youre supposed to rub on your nose or something. Also candies in three flavours, lemon, raspberry and MUSK. MUSK! It smelled like someones grandpa. Weirdness. Oh and christmas crackers with DOGS WEARING SANTA HAT STICKERS INSIDE!

At work we put out a gorgeous christmas buffet, and then when it was finished we cleared down and set up a giant lunch for all the staff and had a huge staff meal. I arrived with a trifle, and home made egg nog with 3 bottles of cheap brandy in it. OH a merry time was had!

Anyway, I hope everyone had a nice cozy warm christmas, with lots of food and gaytime christmas hugging and singing carols to reindeers and the like. I’m gonna finish my berry cider and pass out. Now for some deep sleeping and ham farts..

Also my sister sent me this picture of the tree she decorated for my grandma, and it made me laugh forever..



Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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