My Hero: The Rock


Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, you are the wind beneath my wings.

I have these re-occuring dreams about The Rock. No not THOSE sorts of dreams. We are just hanging out, having coffee, chatting. One time we went kayaking! It’s nice, he’s my dream BFF. Now I finally understand why. He appreciates cake and pizza on a whole new level. A spiritual level. And at night when we sleep our cake loving souls meet up in the dreamscape and hang out, discussing frostings and the eternal brownie debate: best warm or cold?

You are truly my hero.

A while back CB and I did a special diet together, which lead us to have Cheat Meals, much like The Rocks. Ours were never 12 pizzas epic, but still pretty admirable. One week we went to the diner by our house and ordered two breakfasts with fried eggs, sausage, bacon, hash browns and a stack of pancakes. When we were finished we ordered two slices of pie and coffee. Before we got up to pay the bill.. we ordered  FOUR CHEESEBURGERS TO GO. To his credit, our server did not let a look of judgement and condemnation nor even jealousy pass on his face for even a second. Then we went home and laid on the couch and ate those cheeseburgers, while watching movies. It was.. magical. But that time is passed, and Im not getting nearly enough exercise to validate a cheat day like that. But it made me think about the days when I cared about my fitness..

Now admittedly I am a bit of  a chub. As  a pastry chef I find its.. challenging………. to be fit. But not impossible.

Seeing the Rock roaring like a fucking champion in front of the line of pizzas awaiting to become his bitch, inspired me.

I, Kara Lalala, on April 3rd 2013, vow to become a raging fitness superstar.

Im not going to go about this all namby pamby. Tomorrow I’m up at 2am for the early shift at work, I will probably work til 2pm, and then I am coming home and exercising got damn it! I want to pose like an oily statue of the God of War & Hell in front of a pile of donuts! I want to dominate brownies with my rumpling muffles! I mean it. Damn it, I want to be fit and healthy. Damn it, I want cheat days! But Im not in it for the babes, or the glory. I’m in it for the pizza.

Starting now.

Current Chub Status: 86.5kg

Chub Goal: 72kg

Watch out, internet. I accept your challenge. Let’s do this thing.






You rock, The Rock.


Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

5 thoughts on “My Hero: The Rock”

  1. You guys do cheat days properly. When The Koala and I get a family feast at KFC, they give us 2 spoons. I think they know.

    That’s quite a collection of The Rock vs Food photos. I guess you need a lot of energy to fuel those kinds of muscles. I can’t imagine he’s a man who fills up on salads anyway.

    I need to get more active too. I am sick of looking longingly and our friend’s new muscles and new flat tummy. Too many resolutions are pumped out without humour and your brand of candor. I am looking forward to reading about the trials and tribulations to your new chub goal. Good luck Kara!

    1. Yesterday we drove past KFC and the smell nearly made me do an immediate Uturn over a traffic median, through oncoming traffic, over the lawn and straight through the Colonels giant face on their front window to get me some of that chicken. Only I never want to swallow KFC for some reason, just taste and smell.. hmm…

      Also thanks for the good luck wishes, Ill need’em!

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