For weeks Ive been whining at CB to go hiking with me to this mysterious waterfall that is supposedly at the end of our road. Finally he relented, but I had to get him a blanket and sit and watch an episode of Top Gear on the couch before we went. They drove a Toyota Corolla through NZ and raced a sail boat to the northern tip which was cool to see. Jeremy Clarkson drives just like me. Like a maniac.
So then we were ready to go! We both had pants on, I had a knife in my pocket, and TWO t-shirts on in case it got cold while on our adventure. But then we remembered we didnt really actually know where we were going. So we google mapped it. And all the map showed with a bunch of trees. So we were like.. we’ll just go wander the field beside the house. IN SEARCH FOR PIGS!
There were trees!
There were ferns!
There were ferns on ferns!
We hiked through the butt-height grass of the field to the very perimeter. On our way we found clear evidence of pigs. For there were pig sized trails through the grass that led to pig sized poop. We were close. We found the gate in the fence that would lead us to where I knew there were pigs– the creek! Piggies gotta drink.
It was way tangly. Like my hair in the morning, only made of trees and I was in it instead of under it. It was muddy and slippery. I walked through spiderwebs and put my hand on really squishy mushrooms. But I stayed strong and on mission. The little trail we were following through the ferns was definitely not people sized but PIG SIZED. Or really small, fat people sized… Hmm did not think of that at the time. I’m glad because thats creepy.
In here the vines were so thick that the sun was like a ghost in the darkness. I could hear babbling though, like the babbling of a broook??? Or the babbling of tiny short fat woodland people… god why didn’t I think of that at the time!! THATS SO CREEPY!
It was a strange place to be in, the forest. From our house it just looks like some trees and gorse. You don’t realize until youre ass deep in decaying palm fronds how dense and carnivorous a place it actually is. The forest is in a perpetual state of eating itself. Palms grow up through the peaty forest floor, become covered with moss and strangled by vines, falling back onto the forest floor where more palms grow out of its dead corpsey plant body. Creepy. It was also dead quiet, no birds or bugs, and NO PIGS!
Giant nets of vines hung from tree to tree and at times it felt like they were somehow grabbing us on purpose. CB had to wiggle to get them off his jacket. Which was funny. And then we finally got to the creek! And we found….
A WATERFALL!!! WE FOUND A WATERFALL! A tiny, muddle little trickle of a water fall but it still was magical. No pigs though.. so our mission to find the mysterious night porks continue..