Walk It Off

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CB and I decided to go for a walk. I, in my infamous ignorance, suggested we walk a trail to Brimstone Head. See that long meandering grey line that looks like the great wall of fucking china? Yeah, well only instead of a nice wall its thousands of stairs. And instead of China it’s in Newfoundland. Same diff. Do people still say that anymore? Never mind, it never made any sense.

So, I thought it was going to play out like this:

bieber2f-4-webIn this scenario I will be The Beebs and CB is all those strong manly men. And instead of texting on my cell phone it would be a slice of pizza that I am texting on. Instead it was more like lifting one leg, and then not so immediately lifting the other leg, over and over and over again.

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NERD ALERT!

Cause nothing says romantic nature stroll like RAW DATA! CB likes his graphs. As depicted in these maps and graphs, you can see that we went slowly up a tall hill. TECHNOLOGY!

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This apocalyptic looking sea side hell scape is called “French Mans Beach”. Ha ha, quelle domage monsieur.

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It was very picturesque climbing into a cloud. Everything all mossy and shit.

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Some poorly constructed inukshuk type objects. I fought my compulsion to karate kick them over the cliff. It was easy to do, because of the fear my leg might fall off and go rolling down the hill with them. Then what would hold my butt cheek on??

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I was very excited by the idea of seeing some cool nature on our romantic stroll into the ionosphere. Is that a kind of atmosphere? I dont know my science. Maybe I would definitely see a whale this time, or find some seals relaxing their tubes out on some rocks. Or happen across a bundle of caribou and they would stay still enough for me to paint and I’d shout “FU BATEMAN!” and it would echo through the hills. I had grand fantasies of coming to a clearing, such as this one, and catching a unicorn nibbling some lichens. Our eyes would meet and be full of ancient knowing. I would cast around it’s neck a bridel spun from spider silk and enchantments. It would become my constant companion and I would ride away, queen of the bog!

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All I found was this weird freaking moth. It had creepy little black eyes that looked like it was thinking. It followed us most of the way up the hill. Probably Newfoundlands version of a vulture, waiting for us to keel over and then stick its proboscis in our eyes, suck out our eye goo.

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We made it up! And carved our initials into the wood somewhere secret so that it wouldnt mess up the nice clean pine. I was going to carve our names but my carving skills are limited and CB was being impatient. We stood and breathed in the magesty. By that time it was so foggy we could only see a couple of feet in front of our feet but ya know.. I felt like there was majesty around us.

Lumbering back on down CB stopped at a cliff top and asked if there were any people around because he wanted to do something bad. I was sure this meant he was going to pee outside, so when he picked up a giant rock excitedly I was like.. what. Then he heaved it over the edge as hard as he could. It sailed a good way and them plomped on the ground in a soft thud. The ground is soft and loamy so it just kind of sat where it landed. Pretty anti climactic. So he did it again. And I tried to take some sweet action shots, convinced that they would look like spooky hovering ghost rocks. They don’t. Just blurry rocks in the air.

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Then we came home and watched that new Agents of Shield show, which is starting to get good. I made buttery popcorn with REESE PIECES in it because that is the #1 all time ultimate snack. I dare you to disagree.

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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

One thought on “Walk It Off”

  1. I remember that trail! My mother and I decided to hike it one summer… very, very slowly. But, boy was it beautiful! We did the whole loop; Fogo, Twillingate, Moretons Harbor…”

    I spent most of my life not too far from Fogo, and it took me until 16 to realize how beautiful it is. Newfoundland is funny.

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