We woke up this morning in the living room. CB grumbled that it “looked like some 5 year olds went on a bender in here.” The night before I had raced back and forth down the hallway between our bedroom and living room dragging our mattresses with me while screaming “SLEEP OVER!” and cackling hysterically.
The stars had alligned for something magical and we needed to celebrate. Sunday night is the day before our weekly grocery shopping trip which means we usually subsist on black coffee and whatever scraps of hardened cheese we can find laying around the fridge. But this sunday night, we had absolutely no food EXCEPT for the exact amounts of the EXACT ingredients to make one of our favourite foods in the world..
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, the King of Sleepover Foods.. *trumpet trumpet*
MEATBALL & OLIVE DOUBLE CHEESE PIZZA Y’ALL!
Yes! YES YES YES!
We had bought a very small bag of flour and a bit of yeast to made white bread to say thank you to some nice chaps for helping us out putting snow tires on our car. We had a few leftover meatballs from our Epic Meat Log the other day, as well as a bit of leftover tomato sauce. We had a couple sad hunks of cheese, the last of a jar of olives and Bob is your fucking uncle. Actually Bob is my dad. But it’s weird to call him that. Sorry ‘Pops! That’s weird too, sorry again, dad. Ahem, father.
So, I made a pizza that was surely to make us dream sweet sleep over dreams. I also made peanut butter cookies, because hell, why not. We had pop and chips and celebrated HAVING NETFLIX! We got netflix! Finally I have access to all the bad kung fu movies and old episodes of The X-Files I can handle!
It was a pretty sweet night. We made a cozy little bed fort between the two couches in front of the TV and gorged ourselves on multimedia and snack foods. We watched Tommy Boy and I laughed so hard I nearly pooped on my bed in the middle of the living room. Fat Guy In a Little Coat is my favourite thing to happen in a movie. I miss you Chris Farley. We tried to watch the bulletproof monk but I forgot Sean William Scott is in that and he is like a goddamned human jar jar binx and I was like NOT HAPPENING so instead we watched Jet Li with a ponytail kick a bunch of old timey chinese dudes to death. The moral of the story was as far as I could tell that Jet Li smiling is deeply unsettling. Then we we watched Will Ferrell shoot guns and say crazy stuff while Mark Wahlburg just yelled and yelled. We watched Brittaney Murphy get haunted all up and have a whole bunch of baths. And we watched Kate Hudson get hoodoo’d by some southern folks.
In the cold blue light of a crisp november morn, our awesome sleepover pizza party fun time was messy and smelled weird. I stood in the kitchen and stared at the stacks of festering, tomato sauce encrusted meatball pizza destruction. Slowly my head moved to gaze at our living room, once bright and open, a space for relaxation and contemplation now looked like a house drug abusers live in to abuse their drugs!
Kinda like this, just less Ewan McGregory and more with the pizza and pepsi everywhere, man. Chaos. Cookie crumbs on every surface. Pillows, so many pillows! And socks! We only have 4 feet between us, why is there always so many socks on the floor?? So we left.
Had a nice breakfast. Got some groceries. Showered. Got some sunlight on our pale gollum asses. Did the dishes, cleaned up. Got straight man. Real life man. Real life. Know what Im saying?
And the word is “meatballs”.