Balogne Cheeks


CB refers to the jubbly round bits stuck to either side of my face, otherwise known as cheeks, as my “balogne apples”. Its an accurate description.

Today the aforementioned CB came home all over stimulated because he got to pet some dogs. One of his new very part time gigs will be to take care of the two big newfie dogs that live at the hotel. He was jumping all over the kitchen and spinning in circles like a giant maniac telling me all about his day with his dog friends. Finally he got too dizzy and flung off over onto the couch where he stayed quitely for some time, so I could finish my tea in peace. When he had calmed down he made lunch! A most epic lunch for a crappy, rainy day.

FRIED BALOGNE SANDWICHES! *rock star guitar sounds*


On a rainy november day sometimes you need some comfort food to get the cold out of your bones. We have been doing pretty good eating wise this week so we decided to give in to an overwhelming food craving we’ve been having ever since I bought 2 giant chubs of balogne at the super market. Whaaat, they were on sale! And I got to parade around the store with them like the fucking meat tube king of the WORLD! It got a bit weird when to save my biceps I started to carry them like two little bald pink babies. It got even weirder when I talked to them like that. God bless the Foodland cashiers, they’ve seen some stuff man, and they never look at you sideways. Until you leave.

SO SO SO! So first, you take some bread, and butter each side. We bought this nice butter at the grocery store thats made here and it tastes so nice. Creamy and salty and slightly cheesy. I ate slices of it just on it’s own. DONT YOU JUDGE ME!


Once your bread its buttered, fry us your little balogne pacmans.


Take a break to throw M&M’s into each others mouths from across the room. Try to avoid the eyes, but fail. Employ the 5 second rule unless they roll under the stove. Once it goes under there, it’s gone. Gone forever. Nothing comes back from under the stove.


Lay those pacmans on their little bread beds.


Tuck them in with another slice of cheese.


Fry it up golden crispy on each side. Make sure the cheese gets proper melty, damn it!



And for dessert..


We shared a HALF POUND Reese Peanut Butter cup. I got a bit drunk. Watched 9 hours of My Name is Earl. Felt a bit sick. Ate some chips. It was a good night.


Food porn if I ever saw it. You have to put some sexy saxophone music to get with this thing!


Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

2 thoughts on “Balogne Cheeks”

  1. “Balogne apples” is genius. I call the bit of pudge between The Koala’s thumb and index finger his amuse bouche but I think “Balogne nugget” would be a more accurate description.

    The Koala also is in love with dogs. LIke obsessed actually. He tells me about the dogs he sees during his day too.

    p.s. Did your pacmans come like that or did you make them yourself? What do you do with the tiny triangle balogne leftovers?

  2. Nugget is a word that makes me laugh and spit pop out of my amuse bouche. Nugget. Heh.

    I am also obsessed with dogs. I want one very much. I’ve nearly had a car accident twice because I drove past a particularly cute specimen of the species.

    ACTUALLY fun balogne fact. The triangle is actually just a small slit that you make so your round balogne doesnt shrink up when it hits the pan and become a dome shape. It will stay flat! It looks like a triangle once its fried and shrinks a bit, causing the slit to expand to a 45 degree angle!

    Also you just reminded me that I havent read your blog in a little while, Im gonna go do that.

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