Ultra Wish List X-TREME 2013 edition v.1

My Christmas Wish List 2013

– Some bodacious green herbage. I mean, like, tea, people. Jeez.. I’m an old uncool person. Like your grandmother, only not as adept at using iPads and I dont smoke nearly as much marijuana. Also I cannot skateboard, it’s unrelated but it’s a shortcoming I think of often and sigh whenever I do.

I used to drink a beer after work to relax but its too expensive and it makes me just want to go to bed immediately. Something with big fat leaves, that makes my little brown teapot happy.

dragon-well

– A serious pompom for my hat, the bigger the better. I feel like I’m wearing a knitted bald cap and not having a pompom kills me a bit more inside with each passing day.

pompoms

– Some egg nog ✓

eggnog

–  Cozy slippers for keeping my toes all warm and toasty toast

Like these classy lego ones

122e_brick_slippers

imagesPerhaps some monster bear feet to match my monster bare feet

zombie-slippers-ate-my-feet-1351454750

Or these zombs, stuffing their gaping maws with my paws

– A box of Chapmans ice cream sundae

MAIN-Sundae-2-flav

– Brother Junipers Bread book. Bread is a religious experience in this book.

bjbread

– A FAT ASS  jive turkey for CB and I to devour together at christmas

9327

Yeah I dunno, I googled “fat ass turkey” and it was the least disgusting image I saw…

– An exceptional bottle of Canadian whiskey for making me exceptionally drunk

Love-whiskey_baby_bottle

– WINTER FUN! I want a crazy carpet! There’s some AWESOME hills around here and I’m jonesing to slide down them on a rectangle of plastic at terminal velocity! Granted most of them are made of jagged monoliths of granite and end in a sheer drop.. I’ll deal with that when it comes.

2422_554450120956_9486_n

That’s not me, but I wish it was! 2009, the year of the craziest carpet ever.

– And lastly, and most greedily, the 11th Doctors Sonic Screwdriver remote so I can be the 100% coolest changing the channels!

ee4a_sonic_screwdriver_remote

– Cable.. so I have channels to change.. damn it. I dont have channels to even CHANGE! Fuck it I still want it anyway..

Oh my god I just found a pocket in my pants I didnt even know existed! God bless us, every one!

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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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