A couple of weeks ago CB and I did an overnight dog sitting stint for two huge amazing Newfoundland dogs. We had a bond, and they taught me things. I learned how to do real life tasks while casually wearing about a litre of drool at all times. I learned how to give dogs their medicine by gently thrusting it directing down their throats, and afterwards when they look at you like a complete terrorist you can then just buy back their affection with treats! I learned that once you let a 120lb dog knock you over into the snow once, you’re gonna be doing a lot of cold face plants after that. I also learned that dogs are fucking lazy. They love farts, and they are lazy.
Dogs are better than you.
CB took this little video of me feeding the lady dog her dinner, one piece at a time. She’s notoriously too lazy to eat and usually must be coaxed into it by luring her to her dish with a treat and hiding it her bowl. She’ll eat her dinner just trying to find the treat. But that wasn’t working this time, and she needed to eat her medicine. So I took this shit to the streets.
Note: I mention that it reminds me of that one time when our cat was stoned. That was on catnip! CATNIP! The first time I brought catnip home for our demented little brain damaged cat demon she sniffed it, pawed at it once and then seemed nonplussed about the whole thing. About half an hour later I hear crunching and look over and she’s laying on her side with her head in her food bowl, eating her dinner very slowly from the side of her mouth. She stayed like that for the rest of the night, and I never bought her catnip again. She had enough problems to deal with, she didnt need that.. no.. made me nearly pee my pants watching her though.