Instead of doing the dishes, I have written several poems about ham in various styles.
P.S CB made that wicked cool ass ham. ALL HAMS ARE ASS! Are they…? Oh .. my…
But not all butts are ham. Butts are shoulders. But hams are butts. But butts are buns! And BUNS ARE FUNS!
H ow can you be so
M ucho gusto!
Lame freeystyle rap
My sweetest oinkers
rubbing ya butts in those puddles
wanna take your for some cuddles
See you snuffling in the grass
Making noises that are crass
Looking for some tasty taters
Big booty, dont got time for haters
But yo, you don’t even consider
How delicious your body is
Butter makes you better
But sugar makes you sweet
Your meat is such a treat
Skin like ham candy
Beef is neat but pork is DANDY!
There once was a ham on my plate
For many a ham I do ate
I took a big bite
And, oh such delight!
Wish I could take this ham on a date!
Ham, a haiku
The grease on my chin
Sticky fingers grasp for more
I love ham 4ever.
Oh pinkest flesh that fills my heart with lust,
Yielding under tooth and knife,
Coyly splayed slices, tempting brown sugar crust
Best thing in my life.
Adorned with beauteous pineapple rings
Like those of Saturn in the heavens
Or maybe Uranus.
You Spellbinder! You have caused unto me the Itis!
For lo, in my sleep, a dreadful smog enteres my chambers–
Of a smell, I dare not invite it!
Like fire from forgotten embers,
The Fartening comes quick upon the hour!
And hither, it does in invade my dreams
Through the silence comes a great howl!
Rough winds do shake the darling bods of CB,
How is it something so soft and pink and sweet,
Can maketh so for a night of regrets and pleas…