Now That’s What I Call HAWT!


The weather couldnt decide on being a blizzard with hurricane winds, or freezing rain, so it just went with both. It’s a bag of dicks outside and we are not going to do anything. EVER! AGAIN! BLARGH! February is like anesthesia for your soul. In January at least you’re still excited by snow, or maybe even angry at it, both healthy options. But by february this kind of quiet desperation sets in. All your thoughts become tinged with hopelessness. All this white, and constant diffused light makes me want to go fugue state and wander off onto a fucking iceberg and live with the penguins. Start calling myself Jemelda. Queen of the Endless Drift.

BUT on a lighter note, I just got reminded that it’s Valentines Day! Guess I should begin the romance by.. I dunno.. showering.. changing the socks Ive been wearing since Monday.. we’ll see..

Our valentines day tradition is to eat way too much Indian Food and lovingly fart on each other all night HOWEVER there isnt much curry available on this tiny icy island. I only got to hand out a singular Thor valentines day card, just plastered in red heart stickers.


Those are them. Romance.

Yes, Thor

So I guess our new, Newfie version of V-Day is to sit around in our dirty stank trailer, playing Grand theft auto.

CB is pretty damn spiffy at the game, and enjoys murdering my sister’s character Monster Face in it. Today we finally made my own character. A six foot tall black woman with a blonde mohawk and purple lipstick. She’s rocking a leopard print bikini top under a leather jacket, a black sequined mini skirt and stiletto boots. Mirrored tortoise shell hispter glasses complete the look.

I’ve been driving around in a flourescent orange muscle car  shooting every mother fucker with my tommy gun out the window and screaming “EAT IT, WHITEY!”0_0

This is her. My dream girl. Her name is Peanut. I’m scared of her. I’ve only been playing the game for 15 minutes and I have already killed 5, very angry people! One of the first things we did was kill a level 27 and steal his expensive jalopy and leave it in the fucking ghetto. Woot! Driving into lamp posts, with the Black Flag cranked, and burning rubber all over the road. Generally being the baddest ass bitch to ever roam the digital landscape.

I also found this picture of a car CB likes:


Evidently he killed an entire mariachi band to get it…


So thats our V-day. Murder and mayhem, with a bowl of popcorn..



Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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