Check it out fools, I found my new Signature Drink that I’m definitely going to order at all the hawtist clizzubs. So, we were at this gas station/diner/convenience store and I discovered this amazing flourescent pink liquid calling itself “birch beer.” Had to have. Had to taste this sweet nectar. I imagined rootbeer with the smokey sweet vanilla like flavour of a birch log fire…well, it does taste like root beer, but it is at the same time frustratingly fuschia. For no easily conceivable reason. Anyway, crack open a can of this pervasively pink potable, pour it into a glass with a bunch of ice and a mess o’ whiskey and voila! It becomes this whole new thing. And it tastes great! REALLY REALLY great! Better than anything I’ve eaten today, and that includes a pretty decent chicken burger. I’m all about this tasty drink tonight. I let CB have a sip and he said it tasted like a stripper and then did a strange, quiet, far away kind of face that I don’t understand. . . anyway!
I’m calling it The Candi Fantasia™! The only side effects include:
– walking around slapping your tummy
– temporary loss of your inside voice
– making awesome and astonishing alliterations! Always! AARDAVRK!
Birch trees are not pink. Unless you are a goddamned LORAX! ARE YOU A LITTLE TREE HUGGING MOUSTACHIOD ORANGE BUTT LORAX!? ARE YOU!? Are you.. that book was no Green Eggs and Ham man.. disappointing.
Ohhhh hooo you know what is not disappointing? My new mug! I broke my Home Sweet Home mug and replaced this one for a buck. Its a panda having a nice bamboo snack and holding its one really long leg out so you can use it as a handle. Also.. panda balls. Love sipping a steamy chai with my hands cupping a nice warm mug covered in panda balls. 100% for sure about that.
LOVING THIS PINK DRINK
Oh! Chef brought me a swwwweeettttttt assssss present all the way from China! For some reason when you buy stuff from China at the dollar store it feels like the opposite of exotic but having a knife that flew on a plane here from China in somebody’s luggage is all like.. cool and special. It’s a giant cleaver, and it’s hand forged by a guy in Chef’s Wife’s home town. Look he even signed it:
Cool! I cant wait to cleave all kinds of things!
Another present! I got a cookbook in the mail I have been waiting YEARS for. Well like, I just ordered it a couple weeks ago, it hasnt been in the mail all that time or anything. Martha Hall Foose’s follow up to my favourite cookbook in the world Screen Doors and Sweet Tea. This one is called A Southerly Course. Her food is homey and amazing, and her stories at the best part. I have read Screen Doors over and over and over. It makes me want to go walking through a corn field at sun down towards a farm house with the smell of gumbo wafting out of its windows. It makes me want to wipe sticky biscuit mix off my fingers onto my apron. It makes me want to sit at the end of my driveway sipping sweet tea and nodding at the neighbors. Makes me want to be southern.
Present #2: A REAL LIFE BB GUN! We got it at Canadian Tire, its lever action and it shoots copper BB’s and I’m so happy I have it. I’m gonna polish off a case of diet pepsi and go on a shooting spree! We took it out and shot a bunch of pop cans in the front yard until our fingers froze off and shattered all over the ground. We have to go sweep our fingers up later.
But look what happened today! Look what I found! GRASS!! Real life grass. It was so cold and scratchy on my toes. I forgot all about grass. I remember when there was grass. I think. It might have been moss… moss would be good too.
Now that the winter is waning I’m starting to warm up to it. Figuratively speaking, that is. It’s still bitter bastard cold outside most days. But I kind of like getting up in the morning and have to shake thee potato bugs out of my slippers. They sleep in there cause it’s warm and stinky in there and they seem to dig that. I wear two pairs of pants to work. I will miss wearing my touque all the time. And I heard the seals are here! The ice is thick enough that it’s bringing them in and I’m so excited to see them. When I see a seal for the first time, I will just not stop screaming. I’m really excited. I will probably spook them into fight or flight and they will bite my feet off and swim into the ocean with them. Mer feet.. I should stop blogging now.. sleepy.. bye now..