Gone Troutin’

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Yesterday I went fishing for the first time in my life! It has been just.. a total fistfuck lately at work.. pardon my strange phrasing, I have a cold and have been trying to sterilize myself with whiskey. It makes me say things like that and then apologize but not really care enough to change it. Sorry, internet! I know you have delicate sensibilities… LOL Kidding, I have seen what you people google when no one is around.

ANYWAY, it was all sleep work sleep work sleep work and was getting to the point where if I didnt do something interesting and summery like a real person I was probably going to go on a shooting spree with my bb gun… One of the awesome amazing best ever girls I work with mentioned trouting and damn it, WE MADE IT HAPPEN! I left work after 9 hours, giddy at the thrill of not being in my small stainless steel box! I thought briefly about hanging a “Gone Fishin'” sign on our kitchen door. CB and I picked Nicole and her nan Phyllis up, and they brought some spare rods. Phyllis is a rabid trouter.  They took us out to a pond near here, called Kelly’s Pit. It’s where all the kids go to have bonfires and skinny dip and do young people stuff like that. Everyone got right down to skewering poor wriggling worms onto their hooks and trying to catch some trout while I fucked around making a fire and making sure everyone had adequate snacks. I may or may not have set fire to my pants, however briefly. It’s pretty possible that I am not very outdoorsy.

I discovered that the ONE MUST HAVE outdoor survival tool any good adventurer must pack is Cheetos. First, under CB’s advisement I used their starchy little cheesey puff bodies as kindling and the fire LOVED IT! Started a fire no probs. Second reason is obvious, for snacking purposes. Third, they are brightly coloured and you can use them to mark your path through the woods in case you get lost– we didnt have to use them for that though, luckily.

Fourthly, they can be used instead of worms on your fishing hook in the case of squeemishness.. I did a couple of cheeto-based casts out onto the beautiful placid pong but to my shock and chagrin, got no bites. Fish are idiots.

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This is Nicole being a total badass while hooking a worm, TOTALLY not going “ew ew ew Im going to barf” the whole time. IMG_8226

 

Logs that I was sizing up for my bonfire, and some nice fireweed. I decided that they were too big and also probably full of spiders.

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Phyllis’s tackle box. It be full-o wormies!

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They have no idea they are about to get hooked and then thrown through the air into a body of water.

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So nice. Everyone was fishing all quiet and fishing away, looking very zen. I sat on a stump and ate a hotdog because I was afraid of hooking myself in the face.

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Finally Nicole forced me to do it, because she is TOTALLY not super bossy! Haha sorry Nicole if you are reading this right now, I know you are going to frown at me later for that. Anyway Im glad she did, because I really loved it. CB and I are going to buy a rod for our next morning off together.

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Sleepy little buttercups

 

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Cheeto lure! How could it NOT work! Mudder drove over and joined us for a bit. We could hear her coming from miles away, bass booming in her little car. She is a maniac. She hates trouting so she just watched. We left having caught very little– Phyllis managed to catch one wee trout. Sun setting like an angry red fireballs down behind the hills around us, the areas mosquitos happy and full of our blood. Pale, soggy cheetos bobbing around the edge of the lake… poetry man, poetry.

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Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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