Well, its the last day of September. Whaaaat. I thought I would just write a little “check in” blog for my self. So heads up, this is going to be self-centric and boring! Yayyyyy!!
This summer just winked by. It was stressful, and exhausting, but looking back I can feel a sense of pride in what we’ve accomplished. Worked hard every day, made food with love and care, fed peoples faces, made them happy. What more could you want. Now we are pushing our way into fall and we are still steady. When I get going at work, I tend to tunnel vision focus on work, and everything else falls by the way side. Until one day we leave the island to venture out into the world and I see myself in a dressing room mirror at a clothing store and realize I look completely feral. My hair looks like birds live in it, all random dry grey-blonde tangles. All my clothes have little moth holes and bleach stains. You can pretend to be psychic and suss out exactly what I ate for dinner the day before just by looking at my t-shirt. WoOoO. My pants dont fit and my eyebrows have taken over my entire forehead. Also, new thing; nose hairs?? What… where did they come from. Rough. I look RRRRRUUFFFFfffff man. Sheee-yat.. So yeah.. need to uh.. cast some focus back on whatever is happening with me…. yeah……..
So, I am making a conscious effort to do these things:
- Talk to my family more. I’m an asshole. I miss them, and I never call them. I miss you!!! This includes you too, CB. I live with you and work with you and sleep beside you at night and I still feel like I miss you, WTF.
- Work hard, but work less. Okay and work a little less hard. I don’t need to kill myself for the benefit of others.
- Take care of my whole fucking situation. Prune, pluck, mow, snip, clean, scrub.. remember that I am a human woman and not a pastry robot or 40 year old construction worker guy. Throw out those nasty old XXL mens hockey t-shirts and buy some nice soft sweaters. Shop in the ladies department for christ sakes. Yes Gram, i know you have been saying that to me my whole life, I finally consent.
- Eat better. Too many days we come home exhausted with not a single clean dish or bit of food in the fridge and end up eating convenience store hot dogs. At 30 years old, two people who cook shit for a living shouldn’t have to live like that. Actually no human should, it’s disgraceful. SHAME SHAME. They aren’t even tasty….
- Exercise at least one damn time a week. I don’t mind being chubby, but I am literally making myself ill. I want to be lean, strong and healthy next summer. WITH RUMPELLING MUFFELS! *flex flex* This has just totally gotten out of hand. Everything is so.. floppy… Just floppy dangles.
- Clear out the junk and make it easier to keep the house clean. Dirty house = depression. Dirty house + overworked + fat + sick = unending depression spiral.
- Blog more, paint more, read more, take more pictures, listen to more music. Basically just have a little bit more fucking fun doing stuff that brings for for real joy. I have 2 paintings that I spend about 20 minutes on every 3 or 4 months. It would be nice to spend more time on that. Sometimes when I am feeling The Funk I get out of bed and grab CB’s camera and take pictures. It makes me pay attention to beautiful things and makes me feel better. Most of my life I have listened to music like breathing. I never listen to music anymore. Hey if anyone has any suggestions for me, I know absolutely nothing about current music. I just heard Taylor Swift a couple weeks ago. Mlehhhhhh…barf
- Learn to ride a motorcycle, and take my test in october. YAYYYY!!!!!
Anyway.. 8 is enough. Thats some big stuff but really, in reality, its just basic life stuff. I have been neglecting life. I need to figure out how to balance work and life. I just throw myself into work until I got nothing left all the time and thats no way to live. So, Im going to be a real grown up about this and knock it off.
OH GOSH So yesterday. I go to clean the dishes– which at this point are host to a veritable rainbow microcosm. These moulds and bacterias are going to building little skyscrapers and becoming captains of industry at this stage of the game. So I go to take the garbage out– the front door is open for about 1 whole minute–and when I come back in there is at least a dozen wasps in my kitchen. There is a swarm of super pissed off wasps, on my breakfast. And all over the dishes. So I start to clean the dishes and make my tea lalala and stop.. oh wait I probably shouldnt be just standing in the middle of a swarm of wasps in my PJS so I hid in the bedroom where I could formulate a plan of attack (call CB). He says to put on long sleeves and run out with a can of raid and kill them all. But the raid.. is under the kitchen sink. So I put on my sweater, and CB’s balaclava and run out, open two windows with no screens to make a cross breeze and run back in the bedroom and wait. And it worked, there were only 3 left, which I removed manually with the old glass & paper trick. And the moral of that story is.. don’t ever try to clean your dishes.
Ok Im going to get dressed in some nice new clothes and get on with my full day of painting, reading, exercising and eating vegetables on fresh clean dishes!
CHA CHA CHA!