Poots in Boots



Monday is my birthday.. day! The date of my birth! I feel like I’m probably too old to still get so excited about birthdays, but whatever. Last time this happened I turned 30.. and that was.. well I was happy, but apprehensive about the whole thing. That was before CB set up the living room so we could play Mario Kart (best game ever made, 2nd only to Goldeneye for N64) and fed me a double shot of whiskey and chocolate cake. After that I was much cooler with the whole idea of being an old wrinkle. My mom called to tease me about being 30 years old. I teased her about having a 30 year old daughter. Her laughter turned to distress, and I felt better. Her sadness sustains me.

This birthday, it’s old hat. Ive gotten over the big hump, it’s all down hill from here so bring on the cake, damn it! Up there is the things I would by myself if I was employed and full of cash money.

  1. Flourescent pink patent leather doc martens. DUH.
  2. This overly large kinda frumpy sweatshirt with a picture of a cat princess lording over her ice cream realm
  3. A small metal pin featuring a cat’s butthole that I think will look cool on my future motorcycle jacket. I dont know what we would call our gang……
  4. A beautiful cotton kimono, because they are pretty, and also have short sleeves so Im less likely to keep dipping them into my breakfast like I do with the ones on my giant fluffy housecoat
  5. This tiny handmade porcelain inuit girl and her pet husky dog
  6. A big ol ceramic whale to hold all my wooden spoons
  7. A super cool industrial looking touch lamp, because Im too lazy for buttons or strings when Im done reading up on my science facts before bed
  8. One of these le creuset coffee presses, in this bodacious greeny colour, because Id feel like a fucking rich ass fancy fucking boss ass bitch pouring my Folgers out of there. heartheartheart yeaaah

Anyway, I can wish for it all but mostly I just want one thing on this list. BECAUSE IM NOT GREEDY, SEE!? And with my birthday cash my mom shoved lovingly into my hand on the way to the airport I bought those docs. They are.. so so so wonderful I have wanted them forever, and also my old beat up blundstones are ruining my life. CB ordered them for me tonight, along with a pair of red plaid laces because nothing goes with patent pink leather quite like red plaid. I am going to be the belle of the ballers.

Thanks mom and dad! I think I might have enough left over to get that sweet cat pin too..

Okay enough of this wishful farting around. Time for bed for real this time. NIGHT!


Author: Kara Lalalala

I write this blog for my family cause I am terrible at letters & emails.

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