The Witch’s Hat Church

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This is my favourite structure in all of Newfoundland. I call it the Witch’s Hat. To me, it is heart acheingly handsome.

It sits by the sea, but at the very edge, flirting dangerously with disaster. Time, and wind, and waves are in competition with one another for this lovely prize. Greedily pulling at this beautiful skeleton, hoping to keep its bleached white bones for their own. Long gone is it’s little white cross that stood atop the steeple, slurped and sucked into the ocean. OH I wish it were mine!

 

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The town dearly loved this church and the evidence is in the details. Every surface is embellished with simple carving echoing it’s surroundings. The gingerbread edging making a pattern of waves around the roof, and the modest steeple is clad in rounded wooden tiles like fish scales. The steeple is still showing off its blood red paint but now the tip is bent and it looks like a witch’s hat– which is very apt considering the steeple is a pagan symbol. I couldnt get the proper angle in a picture, but when you are driving by the church the tip is VERY bent, and really does look like a its wearing a halloween costume.

 

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I even love its ladder. How beautiful is that! Not a single thing is straight on this old building anymore.. it looks like an AJ Casson painting, after he’d had a couple too many. Its kind of wavering, and starting to lean on itself like it’s getting tired of standing around waiting for its congregation to come back.

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I snuck up closer, and saw a window was broken. It was about 7 feet off the ground so I couldnt peek in, so I poked the lens of the camera in to do some clandestine investigation..

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Look! Look what’s inside! Beautiful dark wood arches and windows and white washed pillars docorated with a kind of chevron pattern. Yeah so the floor is a little droopy.. like Im looking at this picture through a funhouse mirror.. but that just adds to the charm! Im sure you can uhhh buff that out!

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And it seems there’s wire ropes slung through it like a goddamn spiderweb to keep the walls standing up.. okay maybe its a bit more than a fixer upper. Im still in love.

So there you have it.. my dream house. If I weren’t so poor I would buy it and lacquer it with 10 tonnes of shellac, like you do to keep your halloween pumpkins from rotting, so I can keep it forever just how it is!

 

 

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Love Presents

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So, I don’t know if y’all got a sense of this from my nearly complete and utter lack of bloggage as of late, but this summer has been a bit.. shall we say..

FULL ON.

But it’s September now. The weather is still sunny and beautiful, but getting cooler. I can still wear my flippy floppies, but with a jacket and pants. Things are starting to wind down.

Our boss, because she is probably not even a real human being but some kind of light spirit made of patchwork quilts and love, gave everyone $150 thank you gift certificates to the crafters guild. For ya know, not going on a killing spree during the insanely busy summer. HA HA HA. But really though, it was super sweet. And we made the fucking most of it. The nice thing is, if she had just given us a bonus we could have just bought groceries with it or paid OSAP. But because we HAD to spend it on beautiful handmade items, we got some really cool stuff and it felt like bloody Christmas.

LOOK AT OUR PRESENTS!! PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Seal skin gloves. Super soft, super super super warm, and really.. incredibly beautiful. These are now on of my most precious, sacred objects of my life.

I wore them while laying on the floor drinking rye & cokes watching Niel Degrasse Tyson explain the universe to me, so ya know.. special occasions.

 

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Its like petting a seal.. no guilt, just appreciation and love!

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Little wee spots.

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The other part went to this beautiful 2-tone wooden rolling pen that was handmade by a nice fellow named Aidan.

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These were CB’s gift. Handmade wool socks. Ultra thick and warm.

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These are his special motorcycle socks. They are specially made by ladies on the Change Island with double cinching so that they dont fall down in your rubber boots while you are picking berries. Seriously, that is what they were designed for. How beautiful is that.

 

Surprise Pies & Sun Shines So Nice

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Look how big the sun is!! Its so beautifulllll

I finished work today, and stepped out into the.. I think it’s called.. Sunshine? I can barely remember how to pronounce the word.. sunshine.. yeah thats the one. I had to squint and could barely see, the magnificant white all around me, I nearly walked into the blaring white building. I’ve been like Gollum, hiding away in the dark all day, my eyes nearly fucking popped at the intensity of seeing daylight. It was also FOUR DEGREES. T-shirt weather, y’all!

It’s also Friday which means it’s PIZZA NIGHT! My favourite night. We went for a drive in the sunshine, I took my coat off. I saw birds! Real life birds, singing in the sunshine! I felt the warm sun on my back. I bought 2 cans of Newcastle Brown Ale and a couple of sprites for shandy’s! BEER AND PIZZA AND CUPCAKES AND SUNSHINE! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH *Wildly Air-Humping with Reckless Abandon*

We got a veggie with pesto and a sausage & mushroom pizza and 2 of CB’s famous chocolate cupcakes. While trying to re-warm his icing with a torch he accidentally cooked his chocolate frosting and turned it into fudge. Amazing. Best mistake ever.

That reminds me, here’s a pic of the first cake CB and I have ever made together. He made the cake and cream cheese frosting and I slapped it all together. Aww.. romance.. sort of

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Oh also, ha! Yesterday look what presents I found on the front seat of our Buick:

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Little lemon meringue pies! They were still warm.

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I’m having my pie with pop.. cause I’m classy as all hell.

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Mmmrrrnomrnom

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Living the high life on the island on a friday night. Couple of pizza pies, some beer, boot up the Battlestar Galactica. Oh baby.

Starbuck is a bitch and I love her, I’m proud she is a Kara! STARBUCK 4EVR!

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Drinky drink, drank.. drunk..

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Dont even ask me what this is.. I took a picture because at this stage of its creation it was very pretty.. I called it “Special Dinner Surprise Fritatta” or “Cleaning Out The Fridge Smashed Up Omelette” or as CB called it.. “Kara;s magical Drain-o”. It ended up being very high in fibre when I was finished… I just emptied out all kinds of half full jars. Pizza sauce.. olives.. some old camembert… couple handfuls of sunflower seeds.. found this sweet potato in the back of the cupboard.. and whatever else.. balogne i think?? I have no idea, but I remember thinking “Yeah.. Pro Cheffin’ it UP in here, look at this. Eat your fucking couer out Jacques Pepin, this is some tasty original creation”– as I contemplate sprinkling a package of instant mashed potatoes over the olives and eggs…

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Somehow our Supermarket had one bundle of thin, beautiful, fresh asparagus for $3. I almost wept at its beauty. I bought the hell out of that mofo. And put it in my Mistake Frittata.

This week has been mostly a cold, dark, windy blur. We stayed a night at the hotel I work in though, which was one of the nicest days of my life. Just relaxing, eating 5 star food, the BED oh the softness the SOFTNESS.. I had like 7 baths. The highlight was definitely having bubble baths in a giant tub by candlelight. Oh, and playing with a robot toilet. The toilet conformed to your poop preferences! Like a little butt butler! It had a remote control, glowed in the dark so you can see where you pee– it lifts the lid for you, and had a warm seat, and shoots water all over your butthole to clean it up! Very very disturbing at first, but then it kind of grows on you, and now I’m pissed that my toilet just fucking sits there doing nothing when it could be glowing in the dark fancy colours and making water fountains on my butt! I miss that toilet.. The shower had a rain shower head and a regular shower head and it was sooo nice. I came away from my night at the hotel thinking.. man rich people must be so CLEAN. We havent been this clean in months.. maybe a year.. maybe never..

And then we came home. To a burst pipe in our laundry room.. our water is so high in chlorine that it’s not only bleaching all my clothes but now is eating through pipes. Totally flooded. Hundreds of poor hapless potato bug corpses floating around in the 3 inches of water.. dishes piled high in the sink.. 3 day old chicken bits in the garbage stinking up the joint.. Home Sweet Home. And then we had hamburger helper for dinner. From pure clean white luxury to our dirty wet stank trailer. You couldnt have gotten a more stark contrast.

Anyway, I should go to sleep. G’night!

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Presenting: Presents

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Mail is my favourite. It’s right there up on the list of Cool Reasons To Be Alive along with grocery shopping, cheese, and winning contests. Yesterday I got a package from the parents! It was filled with, well, mostly more and angrier letters to me from the government, oops, and also PRESENTS!

A CD of pictures from my mom. Lots of pics of the fam out on the lake on the boat, and dinners, fall drives through the woods and the garden during summer, and nice stuff like that. We watched them as a slideshow on my PS3 and it was rad. CB even pretended to be interested in a whiskey fuled impromptu slideshow of family photos at 9 o’clock at night! There was pictures of me with short purple hair riding around my grams cottage on my sisters tiny motorcycle which I will treasure forever.

When we would visit my Nanny and Bapa I would usually nag them into pulling out the projector and showing slides of them with my tiny baby mom. All blonde hair and rosy cheeks, dressed up for church with little gloves on, or being a babe drinking coke with her poodle by the pool. Slides of my Bapa carving a turkey wearing one of my Nans wigs. My nan posing elegantly in front of various objects. Vacations with my moms cousin Sabine from Germany pointing at things excitedly. Some creepy shots of my mom is pigtails and knee high socks tramping around a miniature village like a 70’s Godzilla monster girl. I saw those slides so many times I probably know every one by heart. It reminded me of that and it was nice. Next CD mom, you should send me some of those pics!

My brother sent me a copy of Neil Gaimans Black Orchid which has pretty arts in it. I stayed up late looking at the pictures, and forgetting to read the words. Its super 80’s, and I’m digging it.

My dad mispelled “Joe Batt’s Arm”on the package to “Joe BUTT’s Arm” which made me laugh a lot.

But the most mindblowing thing in the package was this fucking gorgeous leather book my sister made for me.

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Look at how perfect the stitching is. It must have taken her hours and hours and hours. I like the thought of someone spending hours hurting their fingertips all for me! GLORIOUS ME!

My sister makes these insane leather creations and gives them away to people like it ain’t no thang. Remember my bear bag? Yeah. Well thats not even the tip of the hard-sewn ice berg. Look what she made my brother for his birthday for his televisual bidness.

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Check it out! A notepad for notes, a pocket to keep folders with his scripst in it, a USB pocket, pockets for his business cards, sticky notes and pens! I was so freaking jealous. I wanted one for me SO BAD! But with my sister, if you ask her to make you something, she gets a mental block and can’t do it. It has to be a gift, and her idea. So I didn’t say anything, and bided my time..

During that time she’s gotten better, faster, stronger.. and now look what I HAVE! I’s now one of my top most precious 5 objects in the world.

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And look! It’s just a jacket so you can remove the book!

I decided to use it to transcribe and keep only my most tried and true recipes.

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This is me finally using a present CB got me for christmas before we went to NZ. Its a set of Noodler’s Inks made by a retired chemist in the States that are waterbased, perfectly ph balanced and light safe. He makes them to fund his catfish noodling endeavours. And a set of colourful refillable fountain pens.  The two went together nicely.

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Filling them up for the first time in over a year. It felt nice. The black ink is my favourite

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My new recipe book! My old one has seen better days. Escpecially after the Great Fudge Debacle of 2013, where I poured molten fudge over most of the pages. The recipes in there were scrawled hastily in whatever pen, pencil, felt tip, highlighter, stick of chocolate etc I had available at the time so they are barely readable now. Its time to go on the shelf. It also stinks… it stinks a lot.

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Superfudged. My coworkers will tell you about how awkward it was watching my cry over my book getting fudge on it. None of them know what to do. Not even a piece of fudge would console me.

Thats the fudge recipe there! Its actually pretty rocking too, that one is going in the new one.

Moving On Up

 

Life Update: We moved!

Well, mostly. Everything but the bed, so.. not quite there yet. It’s going to be an adventure moving our king size mattress on the roof of my honda civic up a mountain.. so stay tuned for that nonsense..

We moved into the ranges in Waitakere and its stoooooooooopid beautiful. Our new house is a cute little 2 bedroom villa down a suicidal driveway in the middle of nowhere. Standing on the porch we look out over a valley, and you can see for miles and miles and not a single house in sight. Its so quiet. Just palm trees and pastures and birds. A MILLION BIRDS!  Our house is underneath a line of Kauri trees and they are full of Tuis, and big fat wood pigeons– one of them nearly flew straight into my head and we both made the exact same sound when it happened. I sat on the grass in the sunshine and fantails zipped around checking us out. The birds were all very curious. I found a real life weta on our front door! SO exciting. We have a little veggie patch that is currently growing super tasty cherry tomatoes, really shiny healthy silverbeet, a variety of herbs and a tamarillo tree. I wish I had pictures, its 100% my dream house. I can’t wait to show you. Hopefully by next week I’ll have a few pictures. It’s like living in a goddamn postcard. Finally I feel like I’m actually living on a tropical island.

The kitchen is lovely and I cant wait to cook in it. The garden and lawn are a bit messy right now and I also can’t wait to get on my boots and do some proper green thumbing. CB and I spent tuesday afternoon having a no pants pizza party in our new living room. Did you know that Pizza Hut makes a HOT DOG STUFFED CRUST PIZZA. *Brain Explosions* I ate a whole one. Don’t judge me, The Rock would have been proud.

In completely unrelated news, my stomach has completely stopped working…

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Park Life

I’ve had such good days off. Peacocks and meatballs and japanese frozen yoghurt and walks. Last night we even went for a late night drive around the twisty roads of Waitakere. We had the windows open, blasting terrible hard rock radio. The warm air smelled like a million flowers. I drove like a hellcat speedracer demon, flying between the flourescent lines and blinking catseyes, wind whipping through the car. It was fun! Around midnight we ended up at Bethells Beach and we parked just outside the gate and walked up to the ocean. There was no moon so it was very, very dark. My eyes took forever to adjust. We heard morepork owls hooting in the distance to each other. Above us was the entire milky way galaxy like someone spilled a glass of stars all over the sky. The only constellation I could find was Orions Belt, polaris and the southern cross. The night sky is so different here, and just incredible on a dark night, with the ocean waves rolling up against the beach and no other humans in sight. It was cold though, so we went home and tucked our cold bodies into a nice warm bed.

This morning we got up early, stuffed ourselves with eggs benedict and spent the entire morning going for a long walk around Auckland. We finally went up through Albert park, something CB’s been wanting to show me since we got here. It was amaaaazing! It felt like going back in time, to a Victorian era. The trees are all protected there so they are just massive, long trunks twisting like vines over the walkways. At some points you have to duck underneath the huge limbs. It’s such a beautiful park and I was being a maximum tourist taking pictures of everything here.

This was taken on the walkway between AUT University and Albert Park.

Some of the large trees as you come into the park.

Queen Victoria looking quite dour.

Some little gay merman blowing their conches.

These amazing trees looked like women laying in a pile, turned to stone.

I don’t know what kind of tree this is, but I love it.

Palm tree!

CB took me to a little Japanese frozen yoghurt shop and we shared one with cornflakes, pineapple, kiwi and longan fruit. So gooooood. It was cute watching Japanese girls have ice cream dates with their friends too. New favourite place!