Frong Snogs

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Took Sweetpea for a walk. Came home, drank a beer and wrote a sloppy poem about how gross spring is. There ya go.

 

Slugs sewn though wet grass
like thick strands of satin ribbon
flapping around in my flip flops
thwap thwap thwap
regretful squishing on my toes

June bugs buzz, fat and hard as rubies
THK THK, they collide
put my hood up, hide my hair
scarab bastards wont get in there

Along the highway
Gravel crunching under foot
like dentures on hard candy
Jeepers chirping car alarm love songs
(they’re fucking in the ditches…)

Dog jumps at trucks barreling by
Hey! Be nice! Stay Down!
Poop bag swings wildly in hand
Pendulum of doom

Lonely loon serenading nobody
A sad, panicked howl over the lake
Hell-oooooo?
Google “Loon Calls” and hold out my phone
You’re not alone!

-Definitely not fucking Wordsworth

 

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Gull Cove Road

Hola mis pequeños frijoles! A poem:

Spicy, spicy

BEANS BEANS

Picante!

Inspired by you. And this warm spicy weather we are having. Its well over 10 degrees every day! I have maybe a tan on my left arm. Although I think it went straight from “a whiter shade of pale” to “discount brand turkey bacon red.” BUT I also discovered my long lost friend; freckles. I missed them so mush. I accidentally typed mush there instead of much but Im just going to go with it because backsapcing is way too much work. I’ll leave that one too.. okay I best start correcting my typos now or this blog is just going to be totally unreadable garbage as opposed to the mostly unreadable garbage it usually is. Also all the wavy red lines all over the place as I’m typing is really distracting.

I digress.

I guess I do anyway. Not 100% on the meaning and usage of that word. As I type this Im sitting in one corner of the bedroom having a nice sunday morning tea, watching CB and Sweet Pea cuddle in bed being super super cute. I’ve come to terms with the fact she doesn’t love me The Most, because watching her love CB The Most is like the best thing in my whole life so far. Probably not even exaggerating. It makes my grinch heart grow three sizes each day.

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Anyway! Check out these cool rocks! Last weekend CB, Sweet Pea and I went for a walk out past Gull Cove Road. If you drive down through the Gabarus village and turn right down Gull Cove it takes you down a shady dirt road. At the end of the road is a cemetery from the late 1800’s. There’s a path there that leads down through the forest supposedly to an abandoned fishing village from long ago. Its been my life long dream for the last month to go see it. I pictured houses full of pirate booty, and cool stuff that I can steal photograph. So we finally went!

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Sweet Pea was in maximum Dog Mode. You would not believe she was 13 to watch her bomb through the woods, somersaulting around, leaping over creeks. She is amazing. She had a blast. It was a beautiful walk, and a gorgeous warm spring day with so much sun. This is a secret beach we found. We made a mental note to come back and maybe do some camping here sometime in the summer when the black flies aren’t too bad.
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We walked for over an hour without seeing any signs of a cool 19th century fishing village before we figured we should turn around. I was an IDIOT and didnt pack snack or anything, so we were pretty unprepared for a 2 hour hike through the woods. We started eyeing up puddles thirstily and getting jealous at Sweet Pea for being able to lap up the delicious spring water without dying of dysentery. Dogs are a superior species. We are too delicate.

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We found evidence of coyotes, which I snapped a picture of, but after looking at it decided it was maybe not blog material. I will spare you. I will just say, it was poop. And you could tell it’s diet consisted mostly of fluffy white bunnies….

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Someone is taking care of this trail and there was a nice clear path through the woods. However, it’s spring, so the nice clear path turned into a nice clear river in most spots. Our walk turned into a creek walk. It was so nice!

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In the puddles that get sun most of the time we found bundles of frogs eggs! At sundown you can hear their moms and dads chirping away. Its the nicest sound in the universe.

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In the spots that didnt get sunlight there was still beautiful patterns of ice on top. It was very satisfying to crunch through the icy layer into the mud below.

Crack, plomp, squelch.

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This is a terrifying “bridge” over the bog into the forest. None of those are nailed down. CB and I are going to come back again with a drill and some long screws and secure them. It was fun going across.

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This is a particularly lovely marshy bit before it turns completely into a lake. You can see just on the horizon the breakwater of stones that separates the lake from the ocean.

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Bridges dont last very long here by the looks of it. It was nice to have though, this area would have been impassable. Maybe one day we will bring Blairs canoe out here and paddle around like a couple of fancy adventurereers.

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Another bit of beach. As the waves came into the shore it would hit and then pull piles of rocks back with it, rolling them against each other into the water, only to push them back in again. It sounded like thunder cracking and rolling across the sky and for a second we thought it was. So nice!

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Sweet pea is in most of the pictures as a golden blur in one corner. Here she is stopping to smell something so you can actually make out her shape! She got so so dirty she is probably completely camouflaged in the last pics. She was just solid mud from belly down, she just did not give a shit. Nothing stopped her. She was a wild wolf, out in the woods. I was so damn proud. After the walk she let us spray her down with the hose outside, which I thought was particularly brave because that water was so cold. What a goddamn champion, my little Sweet Pea.

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A bit of sun beaming down onto a nice soft spot of moss. At the start of the walk I was proclaiming my desire to live in Olden Times where we could walk around all day eating bits of jerky and bread and cheese. Like Xena and Gabriel! Or Frodo and Sam. By the end of it I just wanted to have a snooze on this moss. It was like a lush green carpet… so inviting.. but we made it home. Next time out, we will make it to the village. I’ll pack snacks.

Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay

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CB and I took a walk down to the end of the Gabarus village before I left for my trip home. There’s snow on the ground now, but I thought I would put these pictures from the walk up because they are still lovely. Everything all grey and gold and green.

I have a bad habit of collecting special specimens on walks, until my pockets are bulging with rocks to breaking point. Im happy to say Im back just taking pictures of the pretty things and then leaving them where they were at when I found them. I’ll break less pockets and find less surprises in the washing machine later on down the road this way.

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End of the road, folks.

The End of June Month

IMG_0832   I know it’s July now. I just noticed people say that here when they talk about some goings on in June. Not just “june” but “june month.” Unnecessarily specific, but has a nice sound to it.

Im just having a sit on the couch. It’s nice outside and inside. The window is open, and I can hear all the warblers warbling and the tits tittering. The wind shaking the leaves all crazy, flipping them like a million green coins, the sound is like a shimmer. It smells like pollen and plants and I cant fill my lungs full enough of this warm air. I count 16 mosquitos now, pressing their little fiendish faces up against the window screen, thirsty for my blood. The one and only downside of summer. It’s turned me into a pretty paranoid predator. Slapping little buzzing bodies anywhere, anytime, remorseless. Im getting good at it too. Like a ninja. There’s limited collateral damage now, mostly in the form of upsot cups of tea. CBs disapproving eye at my frantic flailing and slapping while he is trying to play Fallout. I’ll keep my blood thank you, it is not in me to give.

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Green green green all around me. The urge to climb these trees surges up so strongly in me sometimes. I have to remind myself that it’s just whimsical nonsense and in reality I’m old and fat and slow and will just hook my ass on a branch and get stuck forever and they will call me Mongo The Tree Girl and throw apples at me to eat. Or a spider will run on my hand and I’ll scream and fall out and break all my hips. Broken Hip Hospital Vacation! NOT A BAD IDEA!

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The worlds slowest growing nasturtium. I like to yell at it every time I walk by its sad little cement pot of saddy sadness. OH GAWWWWD why do you still only have 6 leaves?! You should be full of flowers! What am I feeding you all that delicious hot bacon grease for if you’re not using it to GROW GOD DAMN IT! *green thumb*

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Found these weird things. Wonder what they will be? They look like they are from another planet. Theres all kinds of uncanny ass plants popping up all over now. All around the house are all these little ferns with bumpy blue stems. Upon further investigation–grabbing them–I realized it was in fact a regular green stem but covered in millions of tiny beetle babies and my hand came up covered in bug guts.  YAY!

Today I was thinking that Newfoundland probably must have the most beautiful ditches in the world. Riding around on the motorcycle today with CB I saw ditches brimming with alien stalks of pink & blue lupins, palm sized dandelions, fiery orange hawkweed, fluffy white snowballs of labrador tea flowers, fuschia lamb laurel bushes, wispy white beards of bog cotton, wild blue flag irises, pretty pink seathrift…  its overwhelmingly gorgeous. Its such a stark contrast to the endless bleak whiteness of winter. Everything wakes up in a rainbow! Theres a million different sorts of birds and a billion more sorts of bugs. This island literally buzzes with alive things. Anyway, its pretty nice. Here’s a link to someone elses blog about newfoundland flowers.

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Put on a record. Clean the house. Wash the dishes. Wash the clothes. Wash our dirty stank butts.

I took these pictures in early June, but never got to write about it. We had a nice lobster dinner, just knives and meat and butter. I never liked lobster before I met CB. He invited me to one of his family lobster “feeds” and I was so shy and scared and just tentatively nibbled a claw soaked in butter. But now I am A BEAST! Well, not really. CB breaks them down, but I eat everything until I cant eat anymore. CB’s mum is still the lobster champion of all time. She is small but she can take down 4 of those buggers in a sitting. What a woman. IMG_0732_2   Fresh from the fish plant! Watching CB come out of the building with a bag full of lobsters looking so proud.

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This is the smallest and feistiest one. I named him Hank. He was delicious.

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CB demonstrates his east coast party trick of lobster hypnosis. Make him do a handstand, tickle his forehead with your forefinger.. STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD!

IMG_0786   COME AT ME, BRO!

IMG_0775_2   Sorry Hank, you salty little sea spider. You were just born too damn ugly and too damn tasty to live, man. IMG_0771

Notice this one. The Big Guy. Is. The. Size. of my baking pan! His claw was the size of CBs hand! He could barely lift it! What a hero.

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What a beautiful sight.  Knife, board, beers, towels, pile of lobbies. Yeah thats what I call them now, I think it’s going to catch on.

IMG_0816   And now the massacre begins. Look away if you’re squeemish, or you might get lobster juice in your eye.

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Happy Canada Day, ya hosers!

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Hi!

It’s me! Remember? I have neglected this blog so badly, because it’s summer, and I have officially started living at my place of work. It’s been a bit much I think, I was feeling worn down by the grind. So we spent these days off together really trying to have a great, relaxing week end. Celebrated canada’s birthday by eating as much ice cream as possible and riding around on the motorcycle in the sunshine. Its making me feel more human. Not so much like KILLKILLKILL. Ya know?

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Growlers, the ice cream place on the island was open, had a BUBBLE MACHINE blowing bubbles all over. And they had maple ice cream. I had chocolate & molasses raisin bread flavours in a waffle cone. CB had blueberry and chocolate. It was.. in..cred..ible….

We headed to the arena for the Canada Day festivities!

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We found out that its all happening outside, ha.

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Kids spazzing out at the shindig. There was TWO different kinds of bouncy castle. I ate a cupcake and a hotdog. I put a flag in my pony tail and tried to put maple leaf temporary tattoos on my cheeks but licking them did no good.

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Awesome cute ladies serving the hoards of citizens. I love her apron made out of a quilt. Beautiful!

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Off to lunch!
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Fish and chips and beer and stinky malt vinegar and gravy on everything. YAY CANADA!

IMG_20150701_162736Yum.

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We took a ride out to Tilting and went up a rocky dirt road to Olivers Cove that we have always wanted to take a run up. So beautiful! It was a perfect day for random adventures.


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CB’s motorcycle thinking deep thoughts while staring at the sea….

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Little creek. 
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So much seaweed! 
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Gardening gloves on one pole, a pair of flippers on the other. I like how these folks garden. 

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Little pools of sea water dry up and leave salty patches on the rocks.

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Checking out the gardens. I see lots of potatoes and rhubarb.

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This is as far as we got due to an overwhelming desire for a nap. Next time we will go out to those trees and have a peek for some caribous. And now, Im full of fish & chips and ice cream and hot dogs and cupcakes and beer and sunshine so my day was pretty much perfect. Good night!




Perfectly Spherical Racoons & Also A DEER!

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Derp! Look what I found, just hanging around a wild life park/rehabilitation centre! This here cool dear!

He was most excellent, and we became total 100% buds. I pet his nose and fed him bits of moss and told him cool stories while CB was very impatiently waiting for me to go look at some dumb otter. Which is usually what I live for, but this deer was enchanting. He was great! He followed me along this fence for most of our walk. Probably because he thought I would feed him, but I like to think it was because some kind of deep, lady-animal soul bond. Like virgins have with unicorns. I have with.. derp faced deers in rehab. I didnt ask what he was in for, but after spending time with him I think it may have been for moss addiction. HAW HAW HAW

On to the next thing!

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Look. At. This. ARCTIC FOX.

He is in his fancy winter coat and it, like me in my winter jacket, makes him look like a sausage. It was early in the morning and very cold, but he was up bounding around, pouncing on leaves and stuff. He jumped up and pooped in his house, while looking at us deviously. “Ha ha! Check it out guys! Pooped in my own house! I’m CRAZY! Don’t mess with me! ANARCHY FOX 4EVER”

 

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Next was the moose and black bear enclosures. The moose’s habitat is super big, so it’s pretty unlikely to see him I think. The black bears were still sleeping. Lazy bastards.

This is a peregrine falcon, one of the fastest things to ever exist. Like, I am talking, just super swiftm here.

As a kid, I liked to draw them as much as possible. I was REALLY into drawing eagles and falcons. This one was oddly interested in us, for a bird. He hopped down out of his little roost area to get a better look at the weirdos staring at it. But one of his wings didnt work and he had a hell of a time hopping back up so I felt like a jerkbag for bugging him.

 

 

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Next door were these little hooties! We were watching them so intently, we were freaked out to turn around and find a cougar giving us the old up and down. She liked what she saw, RAWRRR.

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Actually she looks kind of disinterested. I have to admit, I was actually a bit scared. I ran away, to look at this REINDEER!

 

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Hello there big fella!

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Actually he was oddly small. Like I couldn’t have ridden him anywhere at all.

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There was approximately 6,927,192,812,975 bunnies running around. This one was my favourite because it was maxin’ and relaxin’ directly outside the wolf enclosure. Nibbling stuff. What a tease.

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The wolfs paced… biding their time.. until its hasenpfeffer time, baby!

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They look mean and snarly here but really he was just sneezing. I was scared to go up to them at first, because it is a VERY unnatural feeling to walk up to a pack of wolves. But they were just like a bunch of puppies when we got up to them. Whining and sniffing. Cute!

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This is one looking at CB..

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RACOONS!

 

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Look at these fluff balls!

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Getting a little sun.

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Hanging out.

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Thinking deep thoughts.

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Scratching their substantial winter tums. CB was all about these racoons.

MEANWHILE, I was falling in love with this deer:

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OH YEAH HERE IS MY DEER FRIEND! I think I shall name him.. Derek.

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CB saw an otter! Big deal! Whatever! Cute otter that is usually my favourite animal to watch, but…

MEANWHILE:

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Derek the Derp Deer. Has a runny nose. I hope he’s not in rehab for a cold.

 

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CB saw these turkeys lived with an Emu and we wondered if they thought he was their God. Or possibly dad.. They ran around slipping on the ice, which was hilarious, and I wish we had it on video. Watching a turkey lose its balance is some serious high-brau type comedy slapstick hijinx.

MEANWHILE, DEER:

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Still paying attention only to this cool deer. He loved moss. I think he liked me because I am so salty.

 

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Peacocks got my attention though. I love them, and they had some lovely white ones.

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They seemed a bit cold..

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That concludes the wild animal segment of our tour. Now it’s time for PETTING ZOO! Which means, lots of ducks, couple swans, and of course the ubiquitous Llama’s Who Hate You!

 

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Totally hates you.

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We saw this HUGE horse. Like.. too much big. Like he was maybe a freak of nature giant horse. His head was the size of me, if I was curled into a vaguely horse head shaped ball. Why I would be doing this, I dont know.

I wish I had held a dollar bill for scale like on eBay! Okay — I could have fit my foot in his nostril– I didn’t, RELAX, CB wouldnt let me, but I could have. He was so big. Also not interested in pets no matter how flat my hand was. He looks super nervous. I dont know if anyone ever told him he’s the biggest animal in North America, it would have quelled his anxiety some.

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This old donkey, hanging out with this small duck. This duck actually led us around from place to place as if showing off her personal collection of geriatric farm animals. She was very proud.

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ERMAGERD, PERNIES!

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So majestic, with the wind sweeping through their lustrous manes, braving the arctic chill like frosty sentinels. LOOK AT THEIR TINY LEGS. I want to paint their hooves with nail polish and make them wear sweaters and reading glasses!

(Kristy can you guess which one I said was you…)

 

 

 

 

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There were two beautiful blonde lady horses having some hay. They made me especially happy because they looked *EXACTLY* like our Barbie horse growing up. Western Barbie’s horse Sunrunner.

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(Remember Kristy?! I spent my time meticulously rolling microscopic grapes out of plasticene for a fruit bowl on my All You Can Eat buffet table at my Barbie restaurant next to my Barbie hair salon, Barbie clothing store, and Barbie grocery store… and you had the horse and lived alone on a mountain.. never once even came to town for groceries, my hand written barbie sized gossip magazines, or even for tiny plasticine devilled eggs with tiny paprika sprinkled on top… it was all for you, my sister! Dont you see! IT WAS ALL FOR YOU! I digress.)

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Beautiful, with sparkly ribbons in her hair.

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Monch monch monch.. I would name this one Petticoat, and the other one, Werther’s Original.

 

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Then there was suddenly this goat!

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Haaa-eeyyy

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Pig babies! I hope they didnt snuffle up the bacon smell I had on my hands after breakfast…. oh gawd.. I am a monster.

Oh also, weird thing I didnt take a picture of– there were two baby cows across from these pigs and one of them was “suckling” on the other.. but the other one was just pissing. Just pissing into his brothers mouth and looking at us like “I know something’s not right about this but it’s soooo awkward to bring it up…” poor baby pee cows… they dont understand.

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Oh and then THIS creepy mutherfucker….

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Some borin’ ol’ shee’

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And that concludes our tour. Goodbye, my furry friends.. goodbye odd duck tour guide. Goodbye, horses..

Hitting The Road


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VAY-KAY-SHUNNNNNN BAY-BEEEEEEE!

Well, we did it. We made it off the island alive. And then off the second, larger, island alive. And then out of the province alive. And then out of the next 2 provinces alive. It took almost a week longer then it should have due to weather, but it was a nice trip We took it slow, and when stuff happened like having to pull off the highway because of weather, we pretended it was all part of the awesome vacation experience! Not having time constraints makes travelling 600% better!

Oh that picture is of a lighthouse! I peed on it… I couldnt hold it any longer! I peed on a national historic site. Sorry everybody!

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This was CB’s view, for the 20 hours of driving we did. Listening to a random mixture of hip hop, Raymond Chandler radio shows, my amazing collection of 80’s music, Johnny Cash and Sherlock Homes stories… so we are insane now.

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This was the view on the little ferry off the island.

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You can see the back of the ferry in our rear view mirror. Also, some wood.

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Look at the ferry’s cool open mouth! Thats what you drive out of. Neat eh! As you can see, our ferry is a bit on the rusty side. We are getting a new one next year! Woot woot!

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Driving driving driving! Mostly uneventful, which is good.

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We lucked out and got off the highway randomly in New Brunswick and found ourselves driving straight into the parking lot of a SCHNITZELHAUSE, as if guided by angels of the lord baby jesus. Look at that. Veal schnitzel with spaetzel noodles, caramelized onions, red cabbage and sauerkraut!

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And apple strudel for dessert. It was magic. The restaurant was decorated for christmas, with life-size santas that danced and sang and candles and holly and christmas lights and beer steins everywhere. I may have had emotions while eating my strudel.. it was just very nice.

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Another place we ended up accidentally and were so happy for was A&K Lick-a-Chick! They have the best fried chicken and we always talk about how good this place was. It was fate we ended up there while looking for something completely different!

I wish I took more pictures, it was a nice trip so far. We spent a week in Cape Breton, hanging out with CB’s nan, eating pizza at our favourite pizza place– she made us tea buns even though her arm is killing her and they were amazing, with a cup of tea– we visited CB’s awesome Aunt Carol and cousin Jen and I did crafts for 3 hours with children and it was really fun.. we saw a fox! We stayed out in CB’s nans summer house which is in such a lovely spot. We went to a movie for the first time in 2 years! We had a great week there.

Now we are safe at CB’s parents house. My butt is bruised from driving. Its flat like a hamburger. That’s all for now!