K: What do you have to say for yourself?
CB: Ummmmm…. *exasperrated beard scratch* Well, you were having a bad day at work because your stollen babies didnt work out, so I thought that some pizza wontons would make you happy.
K: You would be correct, sir.
CB: Also, you hadnt made a blog in a while, so I thought you would like some blogs material. So I took some pictures while I made you pizza wontons
CB: No. No it’s not romance. You can leave that in, but it’s not romance.
K: This is my romance.
CB: It’s likemance at best.
K: You like mans.
C: Any port in a storm, pretty much
K: *face* lets just get on with the pizza wontons.
CB: No wait I have more things to say. You forgot to put a B after my C. I didnt go to university to earn my B just to be called C.
CB: That’s better. Formatting is not your forte. You forgot the accent.
K: MORE K NOW! PIZZA TIMES! GO GHO GO! I just spelled go wrong…. brutal……….
CB: Okay on to the pizza! You don’t have to type that….
CB: So we were at the grocery store like a couple of poors.
K: Because only poor people go to the grocery store.
CB: Only poor people go to the grocery store and only buy things that are 50% off.
K: Oh yeah K means me.. continue.. I have nothing to add
CB: Yeah so we bought these wonton wrappers to do something with because they ended up only being about a dollar. To be honest I actually thought they were rice paper wraps like the kind you make Vietnamese cold rolls out of–
K: A staple in every newfoundland outport community
CB: .. Because I am dumb and wasn’t paying attention and you were just shouting “IT’S 50% OFF!”. So I thought about making traditional wontons but all we had were pizza toppings and no pizza dough or anything so I decided on pizza wonton.Fried pizza wontons. Because I couldnt find a way to make pizza wonton soup work out.
K: TOMATO SOUP!!!
CB: As you suggested tomato soup might have worked out
K; Nope, gross.
CB: Plus you cant fry them if you put them in tomato soup. But I guess you can, but it would be gross.
CB: FIRST STEP
Take a small portion of leftover pepperoni tube.
Chop that shit up.
I like the roasty crispy pepperoni taste, so I then fried it.
K: With like a million salt.. not complaining
CB: The salt is there for a reason not just because I like salty things. The big rock salt helps things get crispier. But you have to be careful of salt poisoning.
K; Is that a real thing? Salt poisoning? Dont you just drink some water?
CB: Only if you want to just pee salt water for the rest of your life
K: Im thinking about that.. no. I dont. So then what?
CB: I dunno, lets go down to the next picture.
CB: Right, your giant bag of capsicums. That I didnt think we needed to buy even though it was a good price and on sale but why do we need a 10lb bag of chopped capsicums. People on the internet should know that we would obviously prefer fresh ones but they are too expensive here during the winter. And this bag is probably a third of the price of fresh.
K: I ain’t no veg snob, all I see is cheap vitamins. Actually all I saw was a bag of shiny colourful dots and was like, MINE NOW
CB: I put these in too because you made me think of getting a slice of deluxe and all I could think about was peppers on a pizza. Also vitamins I guess. But these are fried wontons so I wasnt being super health conscious.
K; Remember the night before you were making porkchops and I said they smelled like a pizza with green peppers? It was a psychic food premonition. I get those. I can usually tell what my mom is making for dinner.
CB: Based only on the smell of what she’s making for dinner..
K: NO SHE’S PROVINCES AWAY! PROVINCES. Anyway its a useless skill but I’m working on a television pilot. Or should I say my fatcat TV exec brother is. Get on it, B-BOT.
CB: Here is the bowl of pizza filling goodness. Probably after I ate two spoonfuls of it. I had to check and see if I was in trouble because I got a little happy with the hot sauce.
K: It makes everything BURN when I eat it. From beginning to bitter end.. if ya know what I mean.
CB: Next the best part of any sort of pizza related endeavor is cheese. Next time instead of shredding it I will cut it into little cubes.
K: Why, pray tell?
CB: Because it was too hard to get the shredded cheese to stay where I wanted it within the wonton. I had to smoosh it into a little ball.
CB: Leftover sauce. Which we always have, because we eat meatballs but we dont eat pasta
K: Meatballs.. *dreamy*
CB: These are the wonton wrappers that I meticulously re-piled so that they wouldn’t stick to each other while I was making them. This is the way I like to pile square things, your OCD may differ.
CB: Here is the Wontons Maker’s Setup. All the ingredients you need. A shallow bowl of water to dip your dingers in
K: loL DINGERS (typo on my part but I’m leaving it in)
CB: Fingers in. And a clean bowl to pile the finished wontons in.
CB. So then you make your stack. I started with cheese.
And then sauce.
And then pepperoni and capsicum.
And then an olive because I like olives on pizza. In fact the whole point of mozzarella existing in my life now is for olives to be near it.
K: It’s true. Our other food treat lately has just been mozzerella fried in a pan covered in olives. Its amazing…
CB: Put a little water around half of the wonton, as pictured in the first image (way up at the top). Then fold it in half, sealing it up.
Then some other stuff happens and blam a wonton is formed! It’s hard to take pictures of making a wonton while making a wonton because it is a two handed operation. There are good videos on youtube that I used to refresh my memory by a girl named mooncakefactory.
CB: Fill a little pot with oil and do all the stuff you do to fry stuff. Fry them little wonton bitches in there. Fry them perfectly and take a picture for the internet. I just realized that the tone of this post changed from “here’s what I did for Kara” to an instructional post and the pictures arent at all instructionl so.. goodluck making these. It’s not actually that hard, you probably dont need instructions.
Pro Tips / Confession
I made about 3 flat on the board before doing it the proper way in your hand and it is a lot easier making them in your hand. Also after about 6, I just threw all the shit into one bowl and just mashed it all up because making all those little piles took for-fucking-ever. Sha-ZAM Pizza Wontons!
There are no beautifully plated after pictures because we ate these really quickly while watching a Jet Li movie.
K: Movie was pretty awesome, pizza wontons goes down as one of my Top Ten Treats of All Time. Which is saying a LOT. Thanks CB, U R D BEZT M8. K
CB: Okay I’m done.
Yield: Approx. 25 wontons
Time: About an hour
1 pkg wontons
1 pepper, diced
200g cheese, cubed or shredded
1/2 a stick of pepperoni, chopped
1 cup tomato sauce
A dozen olives, sliced
Hot sauce *optional
Oil for frying
Fry your pepperoni. Cool. Mix it with your peppers.
Take your wontons and stack them to keep the separate.
Hold the wrapper in your hand, put a little cheese, sauce, and pepper mix. Brush half of the wonton with a little water using your finger. Fold.
Fry at 360F in an inch of oil for a few seconds on each side until a nice dark golden brown. If you want them chewier fry until lighter, if you want them crunchy fry them darker.