Oatmeal & Apple Jelly Sourdough

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O Bread,

It’s so weird we eat bread. Its like.. the seeds of grass, dried and ground up really fine and then made into a paste that you trap bacteria in, feeding them, letting their farts and burps puff up your paste, and then cooking it. That’s weird right? But it’s also, kind of like magic.

Sometimes when the seasons change– particularly from winter to spring, and from summer to fall, it kind of fucks me up a bit. I get all weird.. wistful, sad, nostalgic, overwhelmed. A bit depressed really. Not by anything in particular, I guess it just makes me vulnerable or something. Warm days start coming, or going, and suddenly I miss my family way more. I get more worried. I can’t handle problems as well as normal. I start getting really itchy feet. Maybe we should go somewhere else now! LETS GO! And then I get my “black hole stomach ache.” Thats what Ive called it in my head since I first started getting it when I was about ten. Like this feeling Im being sucked inwards into my belly button and its a constant dull ache of uncomfortable general fuzzy kinda ennui and perplexed spirtual anguish. I just want to hide in bed, feeling my feelings, talking to the universe outloud until it starts answering back. That kind of mental deterioration, ya know? Or mental retardation, one or the other. Anyway, its not so bad, because I always know its coming. And CB is here, and gives my brains an anchor so it doesnt float out into space. WeeEooOo.. And my brother sent me a really long awesome email, and I talked to my fam for a long time, it was my Dad’s B-day. I sent him a terrible sci fi book for his birthday but Im sending it uhhh tomorrow so its gonna be late!

Usually on a day like this. CB not home, black hole vortex of my soul trying to suck up the last crumbs of my sanity, I would usually not handle it well. I would usually take off on a really long walk, and get really lost and my family would think I’ve been kidnapped. I just walked 12 km to take pictures of tree branches on the other side of town completely at random, oops sorry! That sometimes helps. Or stop eating for a few days, just drink tea. That feels good too. Or in my younger years, get really ridiculously blasted on wine and end up alone in the middle of a lake at 3 in the morning talking to a fox like we’re besties. Yeah not so good. Or go for long drives with CB.. Better.
Anyway, to take my mind off of it, I keep my hands busy. I made seal stew and bread. Isnt that the most newfie bloody meal ever. I’m becoming one, resistance is futile. Bread is the best, and the best bread takes all, fucking, day. Bread that you have to really pay attention to. I think its good to spend a day paying attention to the smallest details of a mundane task. Makes you focus and appreciate. Best respect.

Look at this damn sexy ass bread I made. It was really good, I’ve eaten almost all of it! And it wasn’t just an excuse to eat half a pound of butter!

Cranking old dirty bastard as loud as possible and drinking about 4 pots of tea also helps. Helps the uh, gluten develop.

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Breads good for Poors like us, because dont need a lot of fancy shit to make a nice loaf of bread. You just need water and flour. And yeast. But you dont even have to buy that, you can just mix up equal parts flour and water in a jar and leave it open for a day. The next day, dump half of it out, and mix half as much flour and water again. When it’s ready, you’ll see its bubbly, and breathing. IT’S ALIVE! Your dough now has a delicious yeast infection. It’s a good thing. *martha voice*

 

 

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I used mine with some rye flour and water and made a sourdough starter this morning. Mixed it together and let it sit covered on the fridge all morning. You can do this all night if you want. It develops a nice, sour, beer flavour. And smells like apple juice.

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I made a big batch of oatmeal about 6 days ago, because Im too lazy to do anything for breakfast in the morning aside from shovel a few mouthfuls of cold oatmeal into me. Depressing, I know, but it’s worth the extra 3 hits of that powerful, powerful drug; the snooze button. So I had a cup  or so of cooked steel cut oats in the fridge. Toasted them up in a pan, let them cool and then put them in with my starter.

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In september I was doing some test batches of apple jelly. The earlier ones didnt set, and were a thick sweet syrup consistency. Still vibrant, and tart, and I thought that would be nice with the oatmeal.

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Poured that over top, adding some sweetness.

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Ain’t that just about the perdiest thang ya ever did see? Burping and farting deliciousness.

IMG_7581Add flour, and stir it up.

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It starts to come together.

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Not too dry, not too wet, tacky, and forms a ball.

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Wrap it and let it sit to “autolyse” for about 20 minutes.

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Look at it’s little breathe! So cool.

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Dump it’s dumpy little bod out on a bit of flour.

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Work it, with clean fingers, adding flour as you go if it starts getting sticky. You want to keep it workable, but it will take more flour. Too much flour and the dough becomes stiff and hard to work with. If you’re doing it by hand, its hard to get to that point. In a mixer, it’s way easier, so watch out.

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This dough is really high in grains, so its going to take longer to knead. I spend about 15 minutes at the counter. You want to get right over top of your dough, and push it over itself downwards, not smearing outwards so much. It will lighten in colour, and become more elastic.

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This is about as good a gluten window as you’re going to get with a dough with oatmeal and rye in it. Good stuff.

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Tada. Doughball.

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Put it down for it’s nap.

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Cover it with saran wrap or a tea towel and let it sit and double in size. Depending on how warm your kitchen is, this could take 15 minutes to an hour. When it has doubled, gently degas it, or punch it down.

Let it double again, and punch it down one more time.

Now watch my tum in my favourite, and dirtiest, Adventure Time t-shirt show you how it’s done to some sexy slow jam music. Or awkwardly no music, if my youtube editing didnt work just now. Hope you like the sound of a chubby girl breathing while squishing dough all around.. what am I talking about, i know you freaks are into that.. I’ve seen your google searches.

 

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Preheat your oven to 400F. Put a pan in the oven to catch the water you’re going to chuck in there soon.

The third time you punch it down, shape it, and let it double again, covered.

When it’s ready to go, cut score marks in your bread. This helps it keep it shape, avoiding blowouts and also, it looks nice.

Put your bread in the oven and immediately throw a cup of cold water into the pan in your oven. It will make a ton of steam, make sure to shut the oven quickly to keep it in there. This will give you a nice crust.

2 minutes later, do it again, or spritz it with water from a spray bottle. Do it again 2 minutes later. Let it bake for about 35 minutes.

 

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Nice brown crust. Crunchy, and crackly. Its done when you tap its bottom and it makes a hollow TUNK sound, like its all empty in there. It should feel light. Oh, and smell like heaven.

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The oatmeal adds protein, a nutty flavour, and makes the texture of your dough moister in a good way. It will also help it keep longer. This trick also works with barley, or rice..

Focusing on a small thing.. keeping your hands moving, digging into messy sticky dough. Making something. Watching the sunshine fall on a crusty loaf of real bread you made, slathering it way, way too much butter. The only medicine for black hole stomach aches is to appreciate all the small things you might usually have missed, slipped through your fingers, leaving less for you to feel sad about come next spring. It will be less. Eventually maybe it will be gone, and you will be fat with love and surrounded by hundreds of loaves of fucking bread.

OH ALSO ! First fly of the spring!

flyguy

Sauering the Kraut

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Sauerkraut dinner is my favourite dinner. But something happened..

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There I was making a nice cabbagey dinner..

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THERE’S NO MORE IN THE JAR! It’s all gone.. we ate it all.. 5 Litres of sauerkraut… and I savoured every litre. But now I have a big ass jar, what to do.. what to do.. FILL IT WITH MORE SAUERKRAUT! It’s like so easy y’all. CHECK IT, 2, 3..

How to Make Homemade Sauerkraut in a Jar

From TheKitchn.com

Makes 1 to 1 1/2 quarts

What You Need

Ingredients
1 medium head green cabbage (about 3 pounds)
1 1/2 tablespoons kosher salt
1 tablespoons caraway seeds (optional, for flavor)

Equipment
Cutting board
Chef’s knife
Mixing bowl
2-quart widemouth canning jar (or two quart mason jars)
Canning funnel (optional)
Smaller jelly jar that fits inside the larger mason jar
Clean stones, marbles, or other weights for weighing the jelly jar
Cloth for covering the jar
Rubber band or twine for securing the cloth

Instructions

  1. Clean everything: When fermenting anything, it’s best to give the good, beneficial bacteria every chance of succeeding by starting off with as clean an environment as possible. Make sure your mason jar and jelly jar are washed and rinsed of all soap residue. You’ll be using your hands to massage the salt into the cabbage, so give those a good wash, too.
  2. Slice the cabbage: Discard the wilted, limp outer leaves of the cabbage. Cut the cabbage into quarters and trim out the core. Slice each quarter down its length, making 8 wedges. Slice each wedge crosswise into very thin ribbons.
  3. Combine the cabbage and salt: Transfer the cabbage to a big mixing bowl and sprinkle the salt over top. Begin working the salt into the cabbage by massaging and squeezing the cabbage with your hands. At first, it may not seem like enough salt, but gradually, the cabbage will become watery and limp — more like coleslaw than raw cabbage. This will take 5 to 10 minutes. If you’d like to flavor your sauerkraut with caraway seeds, mix them in now.
  4. Pack the cabbage into the jar: Grab handfuls of the cabbage and pack them into the canning jar. If you have a canning funnel, this will make the job easier. Every so often, tamp down the cabbage in the jar with your fist. Pour any liquid released by the cabbage while you were massaging it into the jar.→ Optional: Place one of the larger outer leaves of the cabbage over the surface of the sliced cabbage. This will help keep the cabbage submerged in its liquid.
  5. Weigh the cabbage down: Once all the cabbage is packed into the mason jar, slip the smaller jelly jar into the mouth of the jar and weigh it down with clean stones or marbles. This will help keep the cabbage weighed down, and eventually, submerged beneath its liquid.
  6. Cover the jar: Cover the mouth of the mason jar with a cloth and secure it with a rubber band or twine. This allows air to flow in and out of the jar, but prevent dust or insects from getting in the jar.
  7. Press the cabbage every few hours: Over the next 24 hours, press down on the cabbage every so often with the jelly jar. As the cabbage releases its liquid, it will become more limp and compact and the liquid will rise over the top of the cabbage.
  8. Add extra liquid, if needed: If after 24 hours, the liquid has not risen above the cabbage, dissolve 1 teaspoon of salt in 1 cup of water and add enough to submerge the cabbage.
  9. Ferment the cabbage for 3 to 10 days: As it’s fermenting, keep the sauerkraut away from direct sunlight and at a cool room temperature — ideally 65°F to 75°F. Check it daily and press it down if the cabbage is floating above the liquid.Because this is a small batch of sauerkraut, it will ferment more quickly than larger batches. Start tasting it after 3 days — when the sauerkraut tastes good to you, remove the weight, screw on the cap, and refrigerate. You can also allow the sauerkraut to continue fermenting for 10 days or even longer. There’s no hard and fast rule for when the sauerkraut is “done” — go by how it tastes.While it’s fermenting, you may see bubbles coming through the cabbage, foam on the top, or white scum. These are all signs of a healthy, happy fermentation process. The scum can be skimmed off the top either during fermentation or before refrigerating. If you see any mold, skim it off immediately and make sure your cabbage is fully submerged; don’t eat moldy parts close to the surface, but the rest of the sauerkraut is fine.
  10. Store sauerkraut for several months: This sauerkraut is a fermented product so it will keep for at least two months and often longer if kept refrigerated. As long as it still tastes and smells good to eat, it will be. If you like, you can transfer the sauerkraut to a smaller container for longer storage.

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VOILA! Presto! Magico! Yum yum time! It’s been in the dark room temp cupboard for 4 days now. I think I could probably leave it out but just to be safe I’ve put it in the fridge. But it totally tastes like sauerkraut. Amazing!

Goodnight!

Pizza Wontons, Makin Pizza Wontons, You Take Some Pizza And You Put It In A Wonton

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K: What do you have to say for yourself?

CB: Ummmmm…. *exasperrated beard scratch* Well, you were having a bad day at work because your stollen babies didnt work out, so I thought that some pizza wontons would make you happy.

K: You would be correct, sir.

CB: Also, you hadnt made a blog in a while, so I thought you would like some blogs material. So I took some pictures while I made you pizza wontons

K: ROMANCE!

CB: No. No it’s not romance. You can leave that in, but it’s not romance.

K: This is my romance.

CB: It’s likemance at best.

K: You like mans.

C: Any port in a storm, pretty much

K: *face* lets just get on with the pizza wontons.

CB: No wait I have more things to say. You forgot to put a B after my C. I didnt go to university to earn my B just to be called C.

CB: That’s better. Formatting is not your forte. You forgot the accent.

K: MORE K NOW! PIZZA TIMES! GO GHO GO! I just spelled go wrong…. brutal……….

CB: Okay on to the pizza! You don’t have to type that….

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CB: So we were at the grocery store like a couple of poors.

K: Because only poor people go to the grocery store.

CB: Only poor people go to the grocery store and only buy things that are 50% off.

K: Oh yeah K means me.. continue.. I have nothing to add

CB: Yeah so we bought these wonton wrappers to do something with because they ended up only being about a dollar. To be honest I actually thought they were rice paper wraps like the kind you make Vietnamese cold rolls out of–

K: A staple in every newfoundland outport community

CB: .. Because I am dumb and wasn’t paying attention and you were just shouting “IT’S 50% OFF!”. So I thought about making traditional wontons but all we had were pizza toppings and no pizza dough or anything so I decided on pizza wonton.Fried pizza wontons. Because I couldnt find a way to make pizza wonton soup work out.

K: TOMATO SOUP!!!

CB: As you suggested tomato soup might have worked out

K; Nope, gross.

CB: Plus you cant fry them if you put them in tomato soup. But I guess you can, but it would be gross.

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CB: FIRST STEP

Take a small portion of leftover pepperoni tube.

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Chop that shit up.

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I like the roasty crispy pepperoni taste, so I then fried it.

K: With like a million salt.. not complaining

CB: The salt is there for a reason not just because I like salty things. The big rock salt helps things get crispier. But you have to be careful of salt poisoning.

K; Is that  a real thing? Salt poisoning? Dont you just drink some water?

CB: Only if you want to just pee salt water for the rest of your life

K: Im thinking about that.. no. I dont. So then what?

CB: I dunno, lets go down to the next picture.

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CB: Right, your giant bag of capsicums. That I didnt think we needed to buy even though it was a good price and on sale but why do we need a 10lb bag of chopped capsicums. People on the internet should know that we would obviously prefer fresh ones but they are too expensive here during the winter. And this bag is probably a third of the price of fresh.

K: I ain’t no veg snob, all I see is cheap vitamins. Actually all I saw was a bag of shiny colourful dots and was like, MINE NOW

CB: Word

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CB: I put these in too because you made me think of getting a slice of deluxe and all I could think about was peppers on a pizza. Also vitamins I guess. But these are fried wontons so I wasnt being super health conscious.

K; Remember the night before you were making porkchops and I said they smelled like a pizza with green peppers? It was a psychic food premonition. I get those. I can usually tell what my mom is making for dinner.

CB: Based only on the smell of what she’s making for dinner..

K: NO SHE’S PROVINCES AWAY! PROVINCES. Anyway its a useless skill but I’m working on a television pilot. Or should I say my fatcat TV exec brother is. Get on it, B-BOT.

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CB: Here is the bowl of pizza filling goodness. Probably after I ate two spoonfuls of it. I had to check and see if I was in trouble because I got a little happy with the hot sauce.

K: It makes everything BURN when I eat it.  From beginning to bitter end.. if ya know what I mean.

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CB: Next the best part of any sort of pizza related endeavor is cheese. Next time instead of shredding it I will cut it into little cubes.

K: Why, pray tell?

CB: Because it was too hard to get the shredded cheese to stay where I wanted it within the wonton. I had to smoosh it into a little ball.

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CB: Leftover sauce. Which we always have, because we eat meatballs but we dont eat pasta

K: Meatballs.. *dreamy*

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CB: These are the wonton wrappers that I meticulously re-piled so that they wouldn’t stick to each other while I was making them. This is the way I like to pile square things, your OCD may differ.

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CB: Here is the Wontons Maker’s Setup. All the ingredients you need. A shallow bowl of water to dip your dingers in

K: loL DINGERS (typo on my part but I’m leaving it in)

CB: Fingers in. And a clean bowl to pile the finished wontons in.

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CB. So then you make your stack. I started with cheese.

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And then sauce.

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And then pepperoni and capsicum.

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And then an olive because I like olives on pizza. In fact the whole point of mozzarella existing in my life now is for olives to be near it.

K: It’s true. Our other food treat lately has just been mozzerella fried in a pan covered in olives. Its amazing…

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CB: Put a little water around half of the wonton, as pictured in the first image (way up at the top). Then fold it in half, sealing it up.

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Then some other stuff happens and blam a wonton is formed! It’s hard to take pictures of making a wonton while making a wonton because it is a two handed operation. There are good videos on youtube that I used to refresh my memory by a girl named mooncakefactory.

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CB: Fill a little pot with oil and do all the stuff you do to fry stuff. Fry them little wonton bitches in there. Fry them perfectly and take a picture for the internet. I just realized that the tone of this post changed from “here’s what I did for Kara” to an instructional post and the pictures arent at all instructionl so.. goodluck making these. It’s not actually that hard, you probably dont need instructions.

Pro Tips / Confession

I made about 3 flat on the board before doing it the proper way in your hand and it is a lot easier making them in your hand. Also after about 6, I just threw all the shit into one bowl and just mashed it all up because making all those little piles took for-fucking-ever. Sha-ZAM Pizza Wontons!

There are no beautifully plated after pictures because we ate these really quickly while watching a Jet Li movie.

K: Movie was pretty awesome, pizza wontons goes down as one of my Top Ten Treats of All Time. Which is saying a LOT. Thanks CB, U R D BEZT M8. K

CB: Okay I’m done.

 

Pizza Wontons

Yield: Approx. 25 wontons

Time: About an hour

Cost: <$5

 

Ingredients:

1 pkg wontons

1  pepper, diced

200g cheese, cubed or shredded

1/2 a stick of pepperoni, chopped

1 cup tomato sauce

A dozen olives, sliced

Hot sauce *optional

Oil for frying

 

Fry your pepperoni. Cool. Mix it with your peppers.

Take your wontons and stack them to keep the separate.

Hold the wrapper in your hand, put a little cheese, sauce, and pepper mix. Brush half of the wonton with a little water using your finger. Fold.

Fry at 360F in an inch of oil for a few seconds on each side until a nice dark golden brown. If you want them chewier fry until lighter, if you want them crunchy fry them darker.

 

 

 

Seal Meal

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I have eaten 10 caramilk bars and still haven’t found any goddamn golden key in them. I’m starting to believe they dont exist! I’ll eat a few more though before I give up for good. It’s so evil, Caramilk, using my addiction to both chocolate and winning prizes against me. Bah!

On another note, that is a picture of a gift from our friend Mona. It’s seal meat her husband hunted, and she bottled. I have laid it out lovingly on a seal skin that our friend Emma brought with her from the NWT. And yes, its soft like the dreams your pillow has while you sleep at night. Sick? Disturbing? ADORABLY DELICIOUS?  You be the judge. I know “tube steak” is already balogne but it should be what we call seal meat. Canadians are bad people.

Also.. how do you eat this? I’m thinking stew? Stew is my answer to everything. Toss in a potato, voila!

 

Kumera Doughnuts

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Remember my promise to be healthy.. well.. ignore it for the next few minutes, because we did something bad…

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DOUGHNUTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

And then.. we made it worse..

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It all started off with one of my favourite lazy morning day off activities, a brainstorming session over coffee about fine french desserts. We talked about beignets. Then we talked about kumera beignets. And then I bought a kumera.. and then I made doughnuts with it.. and CB made pork patties with garlic, salt & pepper, smoked paprika and marjoram like a breakfast sausage burger. And we put on the doughnut… with cheese.. and an apple.. and we ate it.. and we ate another one.. and another one.. we ate 6 of them… and then, we gave eachother fat greasy high fives while crying.

And then, while CB was on the couch with doughnut burger induced paralysis, I snuck into the kitchen and made the worlds fastest doughnut glaze, glazed the rest, and had a couple more for good measure.

In America, a cheeseburger made on a Krispy Creme doughnut is called a Luther Vandross. In New Zealand, I think it should be called a Che Fu. CB knows Che Fu, so maybe this weekend he’ll ask him if that’s okay. He’s a White Lady regular, soooo I have a feeling, he’ll be cool with it.

These little bad boys are soft, tender and sexy inside and crispy outside. They aren’t greasy at all, and have a gorgeous kumera flavour with a soft background flavour of coconut. Kumera is like a sweet potato, the only difference I can see is that its not as sweet and cooks much faster. So you can eat your doughnuts and still get in a serving of veg!

Kumera Doughnuts

Time: 30 minutes prep, 2-4 hours rising time, 30 minutes frying

Yield: 2 dozen 3″ doughnuts

Cost: < $5

1 medium kumera, or sweet potato, or about 2 cups of mash

1/2 cup brown sugar

Squirt of lemon juice

1 cup coconut cream

1 egg

3 tbsp butter

1 tbsp yeast

6 cups flour

2 cups of canola oil for frying

Chop the kumera into pieces about 2cm large and put them into a little saucepan. Cook them on medium along with the brown sugar and lemon juice until soft and squishable, about 10 minutes. At the point either puree or mash them up real well with the back of a fork. Transfer to a large bowl and pour on the coconut cream. This should cool the mixture down to about blood temperature. If its still quite warm, leave it sit for a few minutes, stirring occasionally, until its about 90-98 degrees.

Sprinkle the yeast over the kumera mash mix and stir well. Add a beaten egg and room temperature butter and stir. Sprinkle your flour over, about a cup at a time, while mixing with your hand. Once all the flour is mixed in, you can start kneading your dough. Knead on a lightly floured surface for at least 10 minutes.

Transfer to a well oiled or buttered bowl, cover with a tea towel, plastic wrap or in my case, Avengers t-shirt and place in a nice warm place to rise. My house is freezing right now so Ive found a spot of sun for it to sit in. Let it double in size.

Punch it down, give it a couple of good kneads to redistribute the yeast. Roll it out about 3/4 of an inch thick, and cut out ya ‘nuts. Put them in a warm spot, covered with a clean tea towel and let rise about 30 minutes until fat and fluffy. Meanwhile, heat your oil to 180 degrees. If you dont have a thermometer, you know its ready when you drop a wee drop of water in it and it sizzles instantly. I always make a few rough little balls of leftover dough to test the temperature of the oil. You want it to start to brown and bubble around the edges of dough almost instantly, but not to get too dark. Usually the first one is too light or too dark but good for snacks.

Quick Coconut Glaze

2 cups icing sugar

4 tbsp hot melted butter

All of your leftover coconut cream– you want to add just enough to make it thin enough to dip, but stay thick enough to stick to the doughnut.

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Pulled Pork & Tamarillo BBQ sauce, Yeehaw!

Meat is best when it’s either pulled or jerked!

Last night we did the former, and made a big old pork shoulder roast. Marinaded it in a brine of vinegar, brown sugar, peppercorns and bay leaves and in the morning pulled it out, dried it off and rubbed it down with some random mix of BBQ-esque tasting spices. Whatever I could find in the cupboard really. Lots of cumin, smokey paprika, blended into a base of brown sugar and then I squirted some Sriracha sauce all over it for some nice spicey spice.

My recipe for it can be found here.

I served it shredded in its own juices, with some sweet creamy coleslaw, the caramelized onions from the bottom of the pan, tamarillo BBQ sauce and home made rhubarb lemonade.

I love this meal because for a $23 pork shoulder, half a cabbage, a carrot, some tamarillos from the garden and a whack of spices and condiments from the fridge I got so many tasty things. And it really only took about 20 minutes of effort.

– 750ml BBQ sauce
– Enough pulled Pork meat for 6 hungry people
– 3L dark brown pork broth
– 1 cup of pork fat
– 2 cups of amazing caramelized onions
– enough coleslaw for the rest of our lives
– crackling if we hadnt burnt it all up
So much damn thriftiness!

I filled the roasting pan with onions that came out beautiful, black and caramelized to the point they hardly even existed. I got an awesome new BBQ steak sauce. One we pulled the pork off the bone I chucked the bone and the ends of the carrots and some caggabe leaves from the coleslaw into the slow cooker overnight and got a whole bunch of amazing dark brown broth that will be perfect for french onion soup or keeping in the fridge to add taste to things. We burnt the crackling which is too bad, but we also managed to simultaneously render out all the fat and then strain it and keep it for cooking in the fridge.

There’s a tree behind where Ive been hanging the laundry that has a few last-of-the-season tamarillos dangling off it so I thought they would be a great base for a BBQ sauce. They are orange inside with seeds and taste like a mix between a tomato and a kiwi or passion fruit. They made a great BBQ sauce!

However after I pureed it I kept tasting it and thinking it’s missing  something.. so I added a bit more brown sugar. Almost… I added some splashes of worchestershire sauce. Allllmost. Then I stirred some molasses into the leftovers of our morning coffee and added it in. BINGO. Wait a second that was super familiar… yeah, it’s HP sauce. I made HP sauce. DAMN IT! Still, delicious, but probably better on steak.

So I think the next time I make this, I’ll just cook down onions, tamarillos and some garlic and ginger, would be even nicer.

Tamarillo BBQ Sauce

6 tamarillos

2 onions

1 apple

4 tbsp brown sugar

4 tbsp balsamic vinegar

2 cloves garlic

1  tsp fresh chopped ginger

Squeeze of lemon

2 tsp cumin

1 tsp hot pepper

1 tsp mustard powder, or prepared mustard

1/2 cup water or apple juice, lemonade, whatever

Caramelize your onions with the balsamic vinegar and brown sugar. Add everything else and cook on medium heat until things break down and soften. Puree in a blender or with an immersion blender. Taste and adjust seasonings to taste.

In my dreams I serve this on Pani Popo (a Samoan treat, soft white buns that are covered in coconut milk before baking) or with tons of sharp old cheddar and sour dill pickles, but alas we are trying not to be so much a fat. The meat on its own is really rich and fatty anyway. Maybe next time..

Noodle Poodle

Grocery Day!

Oh I love this barmy farmy life!

I was out of bed at 6am, calling the fam while CB got a wee bit of a sleep in. It was nice to talk to my mom and sister, and talk to my dad about stars and solar panels. Je suis miss them. Then I realized I had accidentally locked the cat flap so the cat had flapped all over the floor instead. So.. bit of a clean up was required. And then by 7:45 we were out in the rain in our “gumboots” and rain slickers to feed the pigs. I stole all my food scraps home from work so they had all kinds of nice little bread heels, tomato bums and avocado shells to munch on. And then we gave the ducks their oatmeal and filled up their water bowl. They are looking pretty dirty lately, hopefully all this rain will rinse them off a bit, dirty little duckies. We let the poodle ladies out for a pee and then we were off to the Avondale sunday market!

On the way we grabbed a couple of cheap cheese and mince pies and a rum ball from the bakery, and two flat whites from a coffee truck, to sustain us on our market journey. Because it was pissing down, there was nobody there, and it was awesome! Usually Im squeezing my way through the crowd, body checking old Chinese ladies and its every man for themselves. It was nice to just meander, and see who had the best prices. We got all the veg in that picture up there, including 2 huge cabbages and a big $1 bag of apples for the pigs, for $16. Not bad.

And then we went to The Mad Butcher.. Oh my.. we nearly over did it. We got a huge, beautiful scotch fillet roast, a big old pork shoulder for pulled pork, 4 lovely steaks, and a pound of bacon. Mmmm mmmeat. So thats us sorted for the next couple of weeks, nice fresh stuff, on the cheap. Makes me so happy to have a fridge packed full of colours. Its a bit of a “thing” of mine actually, my obsession with fridges. My dad always said I’ll be at home wherever I am as long as there’s a fridge there. I like food…..

Gail’s beauteous little eggs

ANYWAY! Lunch time rolled around and I fried up some of that salty salty bacon and poached some nice eggs, plunked them on some rye bread toast and smothered them in some home made hollandaise. Add a cup of tea and thats pretty much heaven. For dessert I ate about 55,000 tiny mandarin oranges because I bought about 4kg of them at the market. I have no self control when it comes to mandarins and clementines and will probably develop a little orange ulcer because of it. Halfway through lunch Gail dropped by with some eggs for us from one of her hens. She thought she had lost one for the last couple of weeks but yesterday found her living in a tree with 14 eggs underneath her. And now we have six of them, WAHAHAHA!

The rest of the day was quite lazy. I boiled myself like a lobster in the bath upstairs for a good hour which was extremely relaxing. And then Ive just pretty much been a noodle, laying here covered in poodles, in front of the fire, while CB makes me a steak dinner. Steaks, covered in the hollandaise leftover from lunch, and roast kumera. This is so very, totally, the life, dude.