The End of June Month

IMG_0832   I know it’s July now. I just noticed people say that here when they talk about some goings on in June. Not just “june” but “june month.” Unnecessarily specific, but has a nice sound to it.

Im just having a sit on the couch. It’s nice outside and inside. The window is open, and I can hear all the warblers warbling and the tits tittering. The wind shaking the leaves all crazy, flipping them like a million green coins, the sound is like a shimmer. It smells like pollen and plants and I cant fill my lungs full enough of this warm air. I count 16 mosquitos now, pressing their little fiendish faces up against the window screen, thirsty for my blood. The one and only downside of summer. It’s turned me into a pretty paranoid predator. Slapping little buzzing bodies anywhere, anytime, remorseless. Im getting good at it too. Like a ninja. There’s limited collateral damage now, mostly in the form of upsot cups of tea. CBs disapproving eye at my frantic flailing and slapping while he is trying to play Fallout. I’ll keep my blood thank you, it is not in me to give.

IMG_0831

Green green green all around me. The urge to climb these trees surges up so strongly in me sometimes. I have to remind myself that it’s just whimsical nonsense and in reality I’m old and fat and slow and will just hook my ass on a branch and get stuck forever and they will call me Mongo The Tree Girl and throw apples at me to eat. Or a spider will run on my hand and I’ll scream and fall out and break all my hips. Broken Hip Hospital Vacation! NOT A BAD IDEA!

IMG_0835

The worlds slowest growing nasturtium. I like to yell at it every time I walk by its sad little cement pot of saddy sadness. OH GAWWWWD why do you still only have 6 leaves?! You should be full of flowers! What am I feeding you all that delicious hot bacon grease for if you’re not using it to GROW GOD DAMN IT! *green thumb*

IMG_0830

Found these weird things. Wonder what they will be? They look like they are from another planet. Theres all kinds of uncanny ass plants popping up all over now. All around the house are all these little ferns with bumpy blue stems. Upon further investigation–grabbing them–I realized it was in fact a regular green stem but covered in millions of tiny beetle babies and my hand came up covered in bug guts.  YAY!

Today I was thinking that Newfoundland probably must have the most beautiful ditches in the world. Riding around on the motorcycle today with CB I saw ditches brimming with alien stalks of pink & blue lupins, palm sized dandelions, fiery orange hawkweed, fluffy white snowballs of labrador tea flowers, fuschia lamb laurel bushes, wispy white beards of bog cotton, wild blue flag irises, pretty pink seathrift…  its overwhelmingly gorgeous. Its such a stark contrast to the endless bleak whiteness of winter. Everything wakes up in a rainbow! Theres a million different sorts of birds and a billion more sorts of bugs. This island literally buzzes with alive things. Anyway, its pretty nice. Here’s a link to someone elses blog about newfoundland flowers.

IMG_0836

Put on a record. Clean the house. Wash the dishes. Wash the clothes. Wash our dirty stank butts.

I took these pictures in early June, but never got to write about it. We had a nice lobster dinner, just knives and meat and butter. I never liked lobster before I met CB. He invited me to one of his family lobster “feeds” and I was so shy and scared and just tentatively nibbled a claw soaked in butter. But now I am A BEAST! Well, not really. CB breaks them down, but I eat everything until I cant eat anymore. CB’s mum is still the lobster champion of all time. She is small but she can take down 4 of those buggers in a sitting. What a woman. IMG_0732_2   Fresh from the fish plant! Watching CB come out of the building with a bag full of lobsters looking so proud.

IMG_0730

This is the smallest and feistiest one. I named him Hank. He was delicious.

IMG_0785

CB demonstrates his east coast party trick of lobster hypnosis. Make him do a handstand, tickle his forehead with your forefinger.. STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD!

IMG_0786   COME AT ME, BRO!

IMG_0775_2   Sorry Hank, you salty little sea spider. You were just born too damn ugly and too damn tasty to live, man. IMG_0771

Notice this one. The Big Guy. Is. The. Size. of my baking pan! His claw was the size of CBs hand! He could barely lift it! What a hero.

lobbydinner

What a beautiful sight.  Knife, board, beers, towels, pile of lobbies. Yeah thats what I call them now, I think it’s going to catch on.

IMG_0816   And now the massacre begins. Look away if you’re squeemish, or you might get lobster juice in your eye.

_MG_0808 That’ll do Hank, that’ll do.

Back To Mackerel

_MG_9396

 

We got our grubby mitts on a bag of fresh Atlantic mackerel! Our landlord Mike practically broke down the door to tell us about some fish for sale, $1 each. So we scrambled for my purse handed him cash and he came back a few minutes later with a grocery bag of shiny fresh fishes!

And I was all like.. “holy mackerel.”

Yeah. I SAID IT! I had to, I’m sorry, I had no choice.

_MG_9354

 

Im gonna eat ya little fishies!

 

_MG_9359

 

Having a bath.

IMG_9389

 

Time to slice and dice.

 

IMG_9373

 

CB has a very sharp little knife and filleted these in about 3 minutes. It’s pretty straight forward. It looks a bit messy here but it really wasnt. They smelled like clean fresh sea air.

 

_MG_9406

 

Cut in by the fin.


IMG_9377

 

Swooooop down the spine.

 

_MG_9371

 

Tada.

 

IMG_9382

 

Fillet-o-fush.

 

IMG_9384


Giver a rinse.


_MG_9432

 

Big stack of tasty dinner flaps.

 

_MG_9433

 

I love their shimmering bellies and stripey backs.

 

_MG_9446

 

Salted and fried in a pan with some butter for a couple minutes.

 

_MG_9462

 

So crispy. Mike told us to splash on some vinegar on and put them in a hot oven for a couple of minutes. It took away that super fishy mackerel taste and just made it really extra delicious! Pro fish tip.

 

_MG_9464

 

Yum. Now to eat it like CB’s nan always did. On the table with a can of cold peas.

 

_MG_9473

 

My plate was a bit fancier, I made a salad. For some reason, I have been craving green things.. New York, I’m looking at you…

The meat was light, and flakey, with crispy crunchy skin that tasted like fish french fries. So nice.

Mike promised us a couple of ducks next time he’s out hunting as well. Im looking forward to it, I’m really liking the dark, salty duck meat!

 

_MG_9482

 



Do you like fish sticks?

IMG_8680

Remember that south park episode? Uhh yeah neither do I…

I just wanted to document my dinner this evening.

Here we have.. some PREMIUM Captain Highliner brand name fish sticks of an unspecified aquatic lifeform..

Our newest obsession.. Donair egg rolls. Donair is kinda like schwarma, but different.. and it’s stuffed inside a beautiful crunchy egg roll wrapper. You would think that would be disgusting, but it is incredible. And a package of 10 is THIRTEEN DOLLARS and I have spent forty fucking dollars on these this month because I fucking DREAM about them. Donair egg rolls are my jam, and I am getting my FREAK ON.

And donair sauce… which is.. pretty much, condensed milk with garlic. DONT DO THAT FACE! Its magic, especially on donair. And more interestingly, especially on fish sticks.

That is all.

Ice Bergers

IMG_7860

Burgers.

IMAG0360

Icebergs.

Icebergers. Get IT!? DO YOU GET IT!

That plate of thin crispy burgers with melting cheese and bacon basking in a glow of warm sun light is my current sexual fetish. NAY! Or do they do bask? Or are they, in truth, creating their own ethereal glow of pure spiritual bliss manifestiing on this physical plane as burger shaped deities of perfection? Or have I just been drinking rye and cokes since getting home– you know what that reminds me of—

Hot Adult Life Tip #456

If You Have No Clean Glasses Because You Live Your Life Like a Filthy Hobo Scrubmuffin; Just Take A Few Swigs Out Of the 2L Bottle, And Feel The Effortless Freedom That Comes From The Moment You Say FUCK IT And Pour The Whiskey Right Into The Bottle. DO NOT SHAKE. Stir, if you must, but you’ll have to wipe that week old kung pao from a chopstick to get the job done right..

Speaking of moments of genius in the kitchen. My dinner routine lately has been pretty stellar. I come home, immediately drop trou before my boots are even off– completely giving less than two shits about our kitchen being entirely made of windows. I know everyone has seen walmart floral print underpants before, if you’re telling me you’re not wearing the same ones right now YOU ARE A G.D.’d LIAR. Then I stand pantless in the middle of the room eating Velveeta Cheese slices, staring blankly in a trance like state. Thinking slow thoughts. Letting the wrappers flutter to the ground around my feet like delicate, transparent leaves falling from the sad Charlie Brown Christmas Tree that is me. Even though that was a pine.. which is deciduous.. ergo no leaves.. anyway!

Today I decided to take it up a notch and treat myself to a home cooked meal. Can of tuna.. chop a pickle.. add some leftover sweet chili salad dressing.. and mayo.. annnnnd then put a cheese slice on there. And now I am typing this blog while eating it with the only clean poking type tool– CB’s camping spork. Annnnd dining upon a copy of Modernist Cuisine Im using as a table on my bed, without a single shred of irony. Can’t wait for my days off when I have the energy to deal with this mess. Meaning, the house, and also me. CB is managing just fine, I am really bad at taking basic care of myself.. fffah..

IMG_7865

Check out this sweet buffalo chilling out on a frosty morning. I’m going to use it to light fires.

Completely unrelated topic.. work has been pretty good lately. Getting tons done and having tons o fun! Summer is coming and things are starting to pick up momentum which is nice but also makes my butt cheekz clench with nervous anticipation of the inevitable screwing that is going to happen. That was unnecessarily visual I think, sorry. Its just gonna be a wild ride my friends. Also I screwed over my favourite coworker this week by sleeping in and I WILL BE SORRY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! So I have been feeling like a lameass crap. Im sorry Mudder, I’m so sorry. I hope we can still be friends and you will come over for a BBQ and have ice cream. Also Im going to be late on wednesday lOLZ Kidding! (but really I.. yeah..)

Ummm.. what else.. Oh my sister is maybe hopefully possibly for sure maybe I hope coming for a visit in a few weeks. We are all excited to go whale watching and point at icebergs and go to the pony sanctuary on change islands. I wish my whole fam could come because sometimes I am homesick and also everyone loves ponies! PONIESSSSS!

SparkyFlappyrunMagesticccc..

Also I think those ponies are named Sparkle and Flappy. Sparkle has a cool hair do. YEAH THAT ONE’S SPARKLE the other one is so obviously Flappy. I mean look at’em. Totally flappy.

Kinda reminds me of me and my sister my sister and I (sorry, Nan!) somehow..

No B-Bot is the white one, Piss is the black one, and IM THE GINGER ONE!

Holy christ this is just complete drivvel I need to go to sleep. Stop reading this, it’s pointless and will just make your face do weird things and make you have weird dreams about translucent snakes biting your toes. Does it to me. Or it might be the half dozen cheese slices before bed.. I gotta lay off the slice.

I leave you with this:

 

Best Day In Ages

IMG_7658

 

CB and I have had the best day in AGES.

This has been the worst winter. BLEAUGH. I guess I dont have to tell you guys, you uh, know.. everyone knows.

But this morning we got up early and took a drive out the the bakery for toast and coffee. The air was mild, and there was hardly any wind. It was warm enough that I took my jacket off. So nice.

We had breakfast at the cafe and shot the shit with Bonnie and Pauline for a while. Then we bought groceries– my fav. I bought beer and lemonade for shandy’s. And cashews and apricots and hummus and meat.. because I have totally chubbed out this winter and it’s time for healthiness times before my blood pressure explodes my fat little heart.

 

IMG_7652

 

Usually my snacks would be a couple of chocolate bars and a bag of chips. This is much healthier.

Oh yeah,

AND WE BOUGHT A MOTHER FUCKING BAR-B-QUEEEEEEEEE! Jealous, MAH FUKAHZZZ?  Yeah I thought so.

Bet you’re not jealous of the hour it took to assemble and the bomb of plastic and cardboard that subsequently blew up all over out kitchen:

IMG_7657

Unlike building anything from IKEA, this one will actually make us dinner afterwards.

Et, Voila:

IMG_7660

 

Ponk chomps. I got over excited and we cooked ALL the pork chops.

Pork chops and Terminator 2 in the sunshine with a beer & lemonade shandy. How nice is that!

Terminator 2 is totally awesome. I had never really seen it. Arnie, you’re tops!

IMAG0300

 

Look at all the snow melting and turning our road into a river!! EXCITING!

Fifteen degrees! You know what that means.. motorcycle weather..

 

IMAG0289

Here she is. The great gold and black beast. It’s slightly less “together-y” now. A few days ago I came home to find a smoking gas tank on the front step.. the oven on low and smelling of gas.. the shower disconnected in the bathroom but the tub SUSPICIOUSLY shiny clean and BB’s from our BB gun EVERYWHERE. And most mysteriously, the dryer door open with a blanket, the cushions from the couch and a garbage bag hanging out of it…….

CB might need a real life shop to do this shit in man.. It took me ages to figure out what happened. I wont go into details, but it involved the gas tank being in the oven, tub and dryer at some point– the real point is though, that whatever foolery he engaged in to get there, it worked. And saved him from spending $400 for a new gas tank! Yay!

So yeah.. breakfast, coffee & lemon squares, chili and toast for lunch, grocery shopping, motorcycle playings– OH AND I SAW AN EAGLE! It was fighting a couple of crows and flew right over the car while I was driving, so COOL, eagles are amazing– sunshine! And barbaeque dinner! And beer! AND I HAVE A LITTLE ICE CREAM MAKER COMING IN THE MAIL!

And I found my hat.

What a great fucking day! Thanks universe, for not totally sucking today. You rock sometimes.

Seal Flipper Stew

IMG_7638

This is my very first submission to the monthly blogging event Our Growing Edge. This month it is hosted by Dana from I’ve Got Cake

I’m really excited to be part of this awesome group of people, experimenting with new food experiences and sharing their beautiful food and thoughts. It’s open to everyone who is trying new things for the first time and is great for connecting you to other awesome food bloggers. Until now I usually just peeked in on them from the outside, so happy to be a part of it!

http://bunnyeatsdesign.com/our-growing-edge/I finally did it!

Finally cracked open the jar of seal meat our friend Mona gave us in October. She owns a museum in an old red saltbox and the “pantry” of the house is stocked with all kinds of goodies like jams and canned meats that she sells. That’s where this jar came from.

Have to admit, I was really, really hesitant to eat this. Actually I actively didnt want to at first. I had this idea in my head it was going to smell like rotten tuna and old rubber boots.. It actually had no smell at all when I opened the jar. Mona told us people just eat it straight from the jar, or warmed up with some onions. We are not that hardcore yet, so I opted for a goulashy kind of stew thing here.

It was really, really nice. Would be great with rice. I made oatmeal bread so thats what we had, which was awesome to sop up all the stew juice with. If you are ever offered seal, go for it, it’s super nice. I know there’s a lot of controversy about the seal hunt, but here on this godforsaken winter hellscape, it feels right to be eating seal.

Mona jars it and sells it all year long. If we stay here for a while, you’ll be certain I’ll be putting up rabbit meat and buying more seal from Mona. The winters are harsh, and you do what you gotta do. There is still a sense of survival here in the winter, when you go to the little grocery store in town and it’s empty because the ferry isnt running for the ice. You get into that seal. I also noticed CB ordered a Henry rifle catalogue in the mail.. so.. we might be going hardcore soon!

Even though if I ever do finally see a seal here I’d be running to hug its beautiful tube body, not thinking about chomping down on it..

IMG_7538

Seal Flipper Stew

Yield: Enough for 4-6 people

Cost: <$15

 

  • 500g (1lb) seal meat.. or ya know, beef..
  • 2 carrots
  • A dozen small potatoes
  • 2 onions, or shallots
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 1 red pepper
  • 2 tbsp smoked paprika
  • salt & pepper
  • 2 tbsp honey
  • 2 tbsp butter
  • 2 cups beef or vegetable broth
  • 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
  • 1 tbsp Dijon mustard
  • 1 large can diced tomatoes
  • 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 1/4 C flour to thicken

Dice your carrot, red pepper and shallots. Wash and halve your potatoes. Mince your garlic.

Sweat your shallots and garlic in butter. Add the seal meat, bones and all. Add vegetables and cook until slightly tender. Move to roasting pan or casserole dish if your pan is too small like mine, otherwise just continue with the pan you’re currently using.

In the same pan, combine the diced tomatoes, honey, broth, mustard, paprika, Worcestershire, and vinegar. Sprinkle the flour over top and stir to combine. Simmer until thickened. Pour over meat and veg.

Bake, covered, at 300F for 2-3 hours until meat shreds and flakes and sauce is thick and smells amazing.

IMG_7536

Gather your ingredients.

IMG_7539

Finely dice your shallots, and sweat them in butter.

IMG_7540

Crack open that jar of sweet, sweet flipper meat!

IMG_7545

Its very red. Cold, straight from the jar, it has a pleasantly smooth fatty feeling in your mouth and tastes like.. well, terr. Dark, soft and faintly like the ocean. Like the smell of seaweed. It actually was very mild, and nice. As a recovering  vegetarian I thought cracking open a home canned jar of seal flipper, bones and all, would make me yak in my pants. But it was very clean, and has a nice taste.

IMG_7546

I splurged big time on this meal, laying down the big bucks for a fresh red bell pepper. $4!

IMG_7547

Add your meat, and all your veggies

IMG_7555

Stir, and cook until warmed through.

IMG_7564

Dump it into your casserole dish or roasting pan. Make your sauce by combining all your sauces and herbs and spices with your tomatoes. Sprinkle your flour over top and cook until combined. The sauce will taste very acidic, too bright, too much worchestershire sauce.. but it mellows and gets nice in the oven, don’t worry.

IMG_7566

Pour over veggies and meat, cover and cook at 300F for 2-3 hours.

IMG_7573

I tried lining my pan with tinfoil because I hate doing dishes but I did a crap job and had to remove it anyway, hah.

IMG_7615

Tada! Le Stew!

IMG_7650

It met with CB’s SEAL of approval BAAAAAH HA HA HA!

Cookin’ Chook

 

IMG_7520

Isnt that a pretty looking chicken? I cant wait to eat her.

I’m very excited because I went to the grocery store today and saw more COLOURS! Red peppers, purple baby eggplants, grapefruit, blood oranges.. vegetables are cominnnng! I bought this bag of mixed purple, red and yellow skinned potatoes because I know CB has been eyeing them for making really pretty potato salad at the cafe. We’ll give them a test run. I’ve been underwhelmed by purple potatoes before, but sometimes they are amazing. Cover them in onions, thyme, bacon fat and butter.. let the chicken drip it’s tasty juices all over them, yeah.. that’ll be good. Cant wait. Now, time for tea. I just wanted to show you how pretty this chicken looked!

 

IMG_7522