Inhuman Condition is OUT

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Hey! Everybody!

After waiting what seemed like an actual eternity, my supernaturally talented brother’s supernatural webseries, Inhuman Condition, is HAPPENING! AS I TYPE!

This is the series trailer! HERE! Up there! Please everyone I encourage y’alls to click on it and have a peek. I’d love as many people as I can shout at to see it! It stars Dr. Weir from Stargate:Atlantis which is exciting for nerds like me.

Here’s a rundown:

In a world where the supernatural is known but scorned, werewolves, “walkers” and beings with supernatural afflictions attempt to live normal lives in human society. Many are closeted. Few are accepted.

To help them fit in, and to navigate the problems in their lives, they come to Dr. Michelle Kessler. A therapist by trade, Kessler is equal parts strong and empathetic, providing her patients a safe space to explore and understand themselves in a world where losing grip could put their families at risk. Self-hatred, alienation. The burdens of carrying impossible secrets. The struggle to feel human.

Created & Written by RJ Lackie

With
TORRI HIGGINSON (This Life, Stargate:Atlantis)

Here is the first episode of the series, each episodes about 8 minutes long. I’m sharing this one because they are like chips, you cant have just one. Anyway. My heart is filled with excitement and pride, and Im so happy to share this with everyone!

 

 

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Spring Sprungler

Well hello there, March!

Where’d you come from, you sneaky little devil!

Can’t say I’m going to mourn the passing of February, the seemingly longest month of the whole fucking year. Ready for some wet Marchy spring time now! There’s still snow, but there’s buds on the trees and sometimes, sunshine! I feel so greedy for it! I find patches of it beaming into the house and stand there like a lazy cat. Rubbing the sunshine onto my skin like some kind of ethereal lotion. Need those happy suntime rays on me!

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This has been a really strange, amazing month in the life of CB & Karalalala. So much good stuff, we are starting to get paranoid that some kinda Big Bad must be on it’s way. The universe likes to even us out like that. But so far it’s all sunshine and pizza parties. Crazy. Our days have been filled with family, lovely meals together, day time naps and cupcakes. So nice. This is us leaning into our Old Peopleness with a quilt-slipper-nap combo.

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This is the view from the second floor window of OUR HOUSE!

That’s Dr. Lutz’s house across the way. He is a german doctor, who is one of the best people Ive met in life. He is so curious, and warm. And he shares my intense love of chocolate so we get along pretty well. Behind him is the ocean. It smells fantastic here all the time. Outside all you can hear is seagulls and wind chimes and I feel like I should tape it and put it on youtube for people to listen to while trying to fall asleep at night.

These are some random pics Ive taken of life stuff in the last month. Some crazy good pizza, a weird fencing painting in Corys uncles house, molasses raisin bread dough, ma po tofu and pork with preserved veg from our favourite Chinese restaurant here, and some stuff Ive been making at work. I’m finding that people here are obsessed with French macarons, and anything filled with whipped cream. Those are coconut cream eclairs and pistachio macarons, and a gigantic guitar cake I made. I always thought I hated making cakes, but I’m actually really enjoying it. My lovely Boss Lady says I get real quiet and zen when Im making tiny fondant owls & corals and what not for cakes.

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SO MUCH FUN.

I also have started working on my Get Better At Life List to great success!

  • Ive been calling my family way way more which is something I really was bad at, and thusly so nothing in this blog will be new or interesting to any of them haha
  • I have read 7 books! I have time to read! READNG IS COOL U GUYZ.
  • CB dyed my hair mermaid colours one sunday night, and it was beautiful for a week and a half. Purple magenta, royal blue and turquoise. Because why the hell not.
  • I have been eating better, and lost about 10 pounds since christmas. Just 1081292809 more to go! But I do feel a million times healthier, in my bod, and also my brains. Yay, vive le fibre!
  • Im doing very good at not working so much and its making everything in our life so much better. Also, our regular customers are little girls, grandmas, and Klutzy the Clown so thats pretty fucking great.

 

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We finally got down to the Farmers Market on Keltic Drive this saturday. It is a fantastic little market! There weren’t any veggies or anything like that yet, lots of sea-shell based crafts as to be expected, but they had something there that gave us emotions. Ethnic food. The smell, of spices, in the air! OH MY GOD! We ate samosas, and my tongue felt like it was bursting with a million spicy rainbows shooting out happiness.

We grabbed dinner from a lady selling African food! Ive never had African food before, and we are now probably her biggest fans. We got “African stew” which was tomato based, with chickpeas and spices. Meatballs. Something amazing with lots of eggplant. Couscous, some really tasty rice, chicken legs, and two bottles of home made sorrel juice. Which tasted like fruit punch. And tasted even nicer, with rum in it.

Rum = Yum. Thats just good old fashioned math.

Then we had some german baking for dessert; bienenstich which is like sweet bread filled with custard and covered in honey & almonds. Also a quark doughnut, which was dense but soft and very slightly cheesy. It is tasty in my stomach, ja?

We also picked up some local honey that tastes like roses and spruce trees, so basically heaven. Some sausages made by a German couple who were hocking sauerkraut and bratwurst on buns. Big Spruce Brewing co had giant growlers of beer which gave me troubling lust feelings. They also had a mysterious dark bottle the size of my forearm with a picture of Rasputin on it that I had to buy. Its a dark stout, tasting of vanilla and caramel, and it is also 10.5%, called Ra Ra Rasptin. The guy told me to “be careful” while drinking it, or to share it, because it says 10.5 on the bottle but its more near 12. Soooo that should be fun for CB to have to deal with me one night.

There was a wizard looking dude selling mead, and some goat soap makers, Nova Scotian wines, Caper Crepes, a cupcake stand, chocolates, coffee, naan bread, tons of baked goods and even more hippy shit, and German translations of Clive Cussler novels.. So we have lots to try next time.

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After the market we went by Uncle Blairs house, and started off a batch of home brew whiskey. This is him stirring the yeast into the big buckets of sugar water. Mmmmm, hoooooch-y. As a sugar-based professional I got him the hookup on cheap 25kg bags of the sweet stuff, so in return he’s teaching me how to make booze. Pretty good trade! Seems pretty straight forward, so in addition to cupcaker and fly tier, I might try my hand at bootlegging. Yay!

For our next trick, we are gonna get the garden started out back. Maybe start figuring out a chicken coop for next spring, cause we have left it a little late now to get chickens this year. And yeah.. damn it.. maybe even get a fucking pony. WHY NOT! Why, the hell, not.

Damn it!

 

P.S. Hi Murray! This ones for you..

Catch Ya on the Flip Flop

Hi there, hi there, honk there!

Im back home in CB with CB! Its been about 3 days and Im just now starting to get over my jet lag. It wasn’t that far to fly I am just a weiner at airplanes. I puff up like a blowfish and then have to sleep for 2 straight days when I get home. For someone who loves travelling, I am really poor at it. Blegh.

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It was worth all the puffy ankles, and turbulence though. I have rarely been so lucky in my life to have both money and time line up properly so I can visit my family during the holidays. Making my profession as a baker, holidays are kind of like maybe sorta literally my bread and butter. HAW! Not only that, but my siblings time lined up too and all of us were at home up north, slacking, snackin, maximum relaxin’, eating my parents out of house and home. It was a really, really great visit. We even kidnapped my gram on the way up– well, she decided to come visit at the last minute pretty much while we were driving by her house on the way home from the airport. So it was a travelling Lackie family van fun time jamboree!

We played every game. Every single game. A million games. Mostly games involving farms, settlers, zombies, murders, haunted houses…

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This is us playing a zombie centric game, Last Night on Earth, with pop and snacks. My mom and I were the zombie team and we SLAUGHTERED those hapless humans wahaha! I also slaughtered, those there gummy bears. Ruthless.

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This picture will be meaningless to you, but just trust me when I say.. this is a work of mastery. I am the MASTER of land and beast! SUCK IT, MOM!

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This is a picture I took while making gluten free tiramisu for dessert one night. One hand on a whirring blender and one hand on my cell phone. It is an ill advised photographic technique. Look at those cutie poot lady fingers though!

Not to got too braggy, but we probably had all of my favourite dinners while I was home and you should be very jealous. My most favourite is my mom’s amazing chicken fricasse with rice & capers. We also had roast pork loin with apple sauce, buttery green beans and garlic mashed potatoes, pad thai another night, then rainbow trout with mashed turnip and carrots, PIZZA, and my dad made this huge steak dinner with baked potatoes and corn and caesar salad. Daaa-yum. Some good ol classic family eats. UGhmmm

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This is back at CB’s nans house in Gabarus. Now that Im home we have been sleeping in late, and spending all morning making and eating breakfast. Making breakfast with CB is one of my favourite things in life, and Im savouring this time like it’s the last french fry in the box.

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Sunshine streaming down over the stairs.

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This is our little room upstairs. Theres books and socks everywhere right now, bit its very cozy. We set up the tv and playstation and we can lay in bed watching Netflix at night. I can lay in bed reading and looking up every so often to see what CB is up to on Fall Out. Right now Im typing this while CB is watching Ash vs Evil Dead. Which is perfect and hilarious.

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This is Joan’s house behind us. She doesnt live there right now. It has no heat or running water, but she is there most of the year. So cool. One day when shes around Im going to bring her some cookies so she will show me around inside.

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This is some lunch I made, radicchio salad and baked haddock and beer *fancy feast*

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Today we went into Louisbourg to hang out with CB’s cousin Breton. She was an amazing trooper to show us around the town, seein’ the sites, all the while being possibly the most hungover person Ive ever met. We paused only briefly by the ocean so she could hop out and have a wee puke out by the rocks, but then she was good to go. Then we had poutine and cheeseburgers. What a warrior woman!!

We met her husbands super nice family who run the general store in Louisbourgh, Bob and Linda. And they own that chip wagon up there! I can’t wait until summer and this place gets rocking. Louisbourg is a really interesting place, and one day CB will go and spend the day doing touristy stuff there– going to the Fortress, having a lobster dinner, going on the go carts– and take some pictures so you can have a look. Breton told us about this hotel that does a “Beggars Banquet” where you dress up in old timey clothes and eat lobster and theres music and.. a lady dressed as a whore who sits on your lap…? I was in an out of this story because I was just thinking about what I could wear to that. It sounds FUN! CB is not as interested…

Alright Im tired now, promise to blog more. Its my bday in a couple days and we are going to do FUN STUFF so ill put up some pictures of that. Goodnight!

 

 

So Fresh and So Clean, Clean

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Happy New Year, buddies!

Check out the new digs! Do you like it? Was getting a bit bored with the old look, thought I may as well spruce things up a bit. It feels like I just got a cool new hair cut 0r something, I feel so refreshed. Let me know if it looks stupid though ok? The blog, not my hair… let’s not talk about my hair…

Right now I’m at home with my family in the frigid frozen North of Elliot Lake, Ontario. The sun goes down before 5, the snow is up the knee height at the moment, and its cold enough to freeze the boogers in your head into pale green icicles in the time it takes to scrape the ice off the car. Despite all that winter wonderblargh, it’s nice to be home. We have been doing nothing but hanging out, playing nerdy board games, watching movies (mostly those about Indian Jones and his exploits)..

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This is one of many nerd games we played… Settlers of Catan? Wasnt crazy about it..

Oh, and also there was some eating going on…

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Look at that spread. How gorgeous can that be! My gram came up for Christmas, and my cousin just finished from Chef school cooked a monster turkey.. wow it was good. He stuffed underneath the skin with about 4 pounds of bacon it seemed like, to insulate it and also because.. delicious. Unnnngghhhhh.. scotch eggs and stuffing, roasted carrots, garlic mashed potatoes, broccoli salad, some orange jello based salad, a squash salad with pecans, gravy, cranberry sauce,  and I made some softy fresh buns.

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Be still my slowly beating bacon stuffed heart…

For dessert I made my dads favourite custard pie with strawberries, lemon meringue pie for my cousin Matt, a cheesecake with raspberries on top, and a flourless chocolate cake for my sister, piled high with mascarpone and covered in sparkling red pomegranate seeds. I may have overdone it a wee bit.. oh well!

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A quick shot of a section of my family’s wee christmas tree. The pickle I got for my mom a million years ago, my favourite mother of pearl dove, and a little clay drummer boy my mom made. Ornaments that we have been making or collecting my whole life, always makes my heart feel toasty to see them on the tree.
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More nerd games! This one is called Agricola, its another farming/settler centric game but I am super addicted to it now. I won the last game! WAHAHA! My brother has an awesome collection of board games, and he is creating a monster.

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This is my little set up in the corner, making mini Jamacian patties for new years eve! So spicy nice! They were delicious. I also made a batch of puff pastry and with some advice from my gram made some pretty damn delicious sausage rolls.

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Mmmmm…. sausagey….

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My brother and I walked down to the deli in town one day before the snow came in, and had one of the best butter tarts ever in the world. Not including my grams, which are the untouchable platonic ideal of a butter tart. So if you’re ever in Elliot Lake, ON for some reason, stop and grab a $1 butter tart at the deli!

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I’ve also been reading voraciously. Ive finished about 5 books in the last couple of weeks. I’m addicted to the Outlander series, and even though initially resentful because I felt I had been tricked by the time travel aspect into reading what slowly revealed itself to me to be a romance novel, I am now addicted. Don’t you dare judge me! Strong female protagonist, time travel, pirates, witches, kilts.. what more could you want.

Okay Ive been fucking around with this new blog layout for so long my butt is started to meld on a molecular level to this armchair. Im going off in search of dinner.

Sorry it’s been so long. This years 12761201293865th resolution is to.. blog more. And so it is written, so shall it be done.. damn it!

BYE!

 

 

Catching Up with Dr. J. Edward Slothman

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Oh haaaaaiiiii…

Man. I’m so laaaaazzzzyyy todayyyy. I am inert, dude. Truly lackadaisacal. Like operating in 100% sloth mode. When I move, it is akin to old farm equipment starting up on a cold winters day; all creaking, moaning, and cloud of pollutants puffing out the back end. Mrrahhhhh

Last night we had a sleep over– which is what we call it when I get all excited and move the mattress from our bedroom to another room in the house and we sleep where it lands. We really only have one other room though so its just plunked down in the living room in front of the TV.

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The Grand Tour!

CB got this little device dealy that you stick in the TV and you can broadcast youtube through it, so my morning has just been loud cartoons and Nikki Minaj videos on a larger screen. Which is fun. So colourful! So much butts! Despite that kind of beautiful awakening this morning I’m still rather haggard and laggard. Not to be a bragard.. Damn, I am a wordsmith.
This post is sponsored by YeOldeMedeivalEnglishThesaurus.com.

So I realize that for the exception of my brief photo essay on Chickens Using Power Tools, I haven’t posted anything in a long time. Soz, m8s. I have been busy! Ive had more than a month off! I haven’t had to scale flour or cast side eyes at coworkers dubious work habits in weeks! It’s been incredible. Instead, we drove 7,825km there and back, visiting family and friends. Google Maps estimates that to be about 98 hours in a car. You can imagine the mountain of Tim Hortons cups we amassed on our drive.

Next time, we will probably fly, but it was an adventure! A snowy, ice stormy, white knuckly sort of adventure. But we survived! And I got to fill up on family, which is good, because my family meter has been long empty. If I were a Sims character I would have been dancing around angrily and peeing myself long ago. If you do not understand that reference, you are not cool.

I missed my fam so much. Even though travelling took up most of our time so we could only have wee visits, it was still special. I missed my mom’s b-day but I still got to make her a cake, and share christmas with my family. That hasnt happened in about 9 years I think, since I started working in kitchens. BOO KITCHENS. No j/k they’re ok. My mom is better though.

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I got to play a millions games with my brother and sister. Got to have morning coffee’s with my dad!

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Pizza lunch with my Gram and Aunty Pat. Got to annoy my cousins while my Aunt Chris made us chicken parmasen for dinner! We ate every single ethnic food we saw. Dr. Phil and lasagna with CB’s nan! Finally we got to have breakfast at our friend Anthony’s restaurant, AMAZING! Then dinner with our friend Ima later on at his third restaurant. Successful bastard. Hugs and whistle dogs with our most best friend Jess who we havent seen in so long she’s gotten all married and become a teacher! Waaah! So many hugs. Im getting better at them now. They are actually pretty cool, hugs. I think that means I’m finally starting to grow as a human being.

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I got SWEET xmas presents! Like one of these bookmarks my sister made out of leather. We lost our old stink dog Oscar a few months ago and she made the three of us booksmarks with his neurotic dog face all over them. It looks exactly like him, she is so wicked with leather. Aw, Osc. I also got an adult fleece Onesie pajamas that I wear ever minute of my life now. If it’s one piece is it still “pajamas” or just a singular pajama? And I got a fishing rod! For to catch a fish! Because I showed great aptitude for that! CBs mom made me an awesome birthday quilt and for xmas gave me these tiny ceramic skunks, probably one of my favourite presents ever now. And my brother bought me a million books. Like literally a garbage bag full of books with a christmas bow on it. I have so many books now. Thanks, bro-bot!

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We spent a lot of time at christmas with CB’s fam. We got to be their annual boxing day bash, which is always fun! There was so much food and hiding from strangers! I drank a lot of whiskey.

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It was so warm for a week in December that Arlene’s chickens started laying eggs!! She thought someone was pranking her, hiding brown, shit covered eggs all over the place. Ha! She was so excited, it was great.

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And ate a million diner breakfasts! CB’s raison d’etre. That one was at a truck stop in Quebec, it came with breakfast meat pie! Oh I also ate so much pie. One day, I ate 4 different pieces of pie. I also gained 17 pounds this month. That is not a lie or gross exaggeration. It is just gross.

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Oh yeah..

Five days ago I officially became an old bag.

Sigh.

The big Three-Oh. A solemn dong from the Gong of Eternity sounding out through the din of time, in celebration of my ever shortening, but constant and inescapable, march towards death. CB MADE ME CAKE!

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Here he is spackling on the strawberry mousse frosting with a (very clean) drywall knife. It was chocolate, with strawberries and whiskey. YEEEEAHHH!

Now if youll excuse me, I think I will make a tea and see about maybe sporting some pants perhaps. Good day!

Hitting The Road


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VAY-KAY-SHUNNNNNN BAY-BEEEEEEE!

Well, we did it. We made it off the island alive. And then off the second, larger, island alive. And then out of the province alive. And then out of the next 2 provinces alive. It took almost a week longer then it should have due to weather, but it was a nice trip We took it slow, and when stuff happened like having to pull off the highway because of weather, we pretended it was all part of the awesome vacation experience! Not having time constraints makes travelling 600% better!

Oh that picture is of a lighthouse! I peed on it… I couldnt hold it any longer! I peed on a national historic site. Sorry everybody!

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This was CB’s view, for the 20 hours of driving we did. Listening to a random mixture of hip hop, Raymond Chandler radio shows, my amazing collection of 80’s music, Johnny Cash and Sherlock Homes stories… so we are insane now.

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This was the view on the little ferry off the island.

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You can see the back of the ferry in our rear view mirror. Also, some wood.

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Look at the ferry’s cool open mouth! Thats what you drive out of. Neat eh! As you can see, our ferry is a bit on the rusty side. We are getting a new one next year! Woot woot!

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Driving driving driving! Mostly uneventful, which is good.

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We lucked out and got off the highway randomly in New Brunswick and found ourselves driving straight into the parking lot of a SCHNITZELHAUSE, as if guided by angels of the lord baby jesus. Look at that. Veal schnitzel with spaetzel noodles, caramelized onions, red cabbage and sauerkraut!

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And apple strudel for dessert. It was magic. The restaurant was decorated for christmas, with life-size santas that danced and sang and candles and holly and christmas lights and beer steins everywhere. I may have had emotions while eating my strudel.. it was just very nice.

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Another place we ended up accidentally and were so happy for was A&K Lick-a-Chick! They have the best fried chicken and we always talk about how good this place was. It was fate we ended up there while looking for something completely different!

I wish I took more pictures, it was a nice trip so far. We spent a week in Cape Breton, hanging out with CB’s nan, eating pizza at our favourite pizza place– she made us tea buns even though her arm is killing her and they were amazing, with a cup of tea– we visited CB’s awesome Aunt Carol and cousin Jen and I did crafts for 3 hours with children and it was really fun.. we saw a fox! We stayed out in CB’s nans summer house which is in such a lovely spot. We went to a movie for the first time in 2 years! We had a great week there.

Now we are safe at CB’s parents house. My butt is bruised from driving. Its flat like a hamburger. That’s all for now!

 

 

Uber Kraut

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Every time I look at this picture, I hear angels singing. Something I miss from home is my mom and dad’s amazing sauerkraut dinners with like 8 different kinds of sausages, and pork shops, and bacon all thrown in. I have made it a half dozen times in the last couple of months but this was my first time making the kraut from scratch. And this was CB’s first time cooking my special family dinner. I think he probably kicked it’s ass. SO GOOOOOD!

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