No no no, no-no-no, no no NOVEMBER

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Hello grumplings, how’s it is hanging? Yes? Good! No!

I have been thinking about my blog a lot the last few days. Been missing it really. Missing the little community of cool-ass bloggers, and their cool-ass blogs that I usually spent my mornings reading. I miss rambling in broken english and mortifyingly poor grammar. I miss telling you all about the latest food ingested and outgested. The only cure for this kinda blues is to write a blog!

Today is a wet sort of cold that gets into your bones, so we are curdled away inside like squirrels. There is a steady shower of rain that every so often turns to snow and then back to rain again. We have a more temperate little mini climate in Gabarus, and the rest of the island is having a fun-time blizzard today so no complaints here. CB has a fire roaring away, and we’re spending the morning in the kitchen cooking together and watching all the Harry Potter movies. We started last night and have just finished the second one. Its a good background movie on such a Novembery day. I forgot how dark they were, Harry P just straight up murdered some guy. And then got awarded school points for it. Wtf…

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Life is pretty great right now, but one of the top 5 best things has got to be visiting the library regularly. Libraries are the best places on earth. Last month we took out books on compost, solariums, gunsmithing and the first volume of Hellboy. FOR FREE. FOR NO MONEY! It feels like stealing. And stealing feels exhilarating like driving a race car. And driving a race car feels awesome like doing cool drugs. And doing cool drugs feels like visiting the library. I like to get high, on imagination.

This month I grabbed Mastering the art of French Cooking by Julia Child, an ancient old book of Nova Scotian cooking and a book about Scottish baking. We haven’t gone grocery shopping in a while so the Scottish baking book is great, every recipe only has about 5 ingredients, one of which is usually oatmeal. And we never run out of oatmeal…

The first recipe Ive baked from the book is for “sour skons”, to use of the last of the sour cream in the house. This recipe originated in Orkney in the late 1700’s.

ORKNEY SOUR SKONS

200g flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
25g medium oatmeal
1/2 tsp caraway seeds
142ml sour cream
2 tbsp milk

Mix into a soft dough, pat into a 1″ thick round and cut into 6.
Bake at 425F for 15 minutes.

I have to admit, I did not put the caraway in these. Instead I added nutmeg, allspice and cinnamon because I wanted a vehicle on which to shovel tablespoons of apply jelly into my face. And caraway.. I dunno. But I think that would be nice with cheese maybe! Like a fine aged Cheezwhiz perhaps. This recipe took, I shit you not, 17 minutes from when I stood my lazy butt up to when I was eating a softy warm scone. It was super light, with a fluffy texture and I liked the addition of a little oatmeal. They tasted, however, like the 1700s. I’d make these again but probably add a bit of sugar and maybe a pinch more salt to balance it out.

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Sweetpea was hoping I would hate them and dump them all into her dog bowl in a fit of disappointment and rage. Instead I just ate three, covered in jelly. Actually I put mayonnaise on one. Don’t you dare judge me!

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This spider has turned my window plants into his very own apartment complex. I like him, he can stay. I haven’t seen a single fruit fly since he moved in.

I have lots to write about but I should pack it in now and go help CB with the pork dumplings he is making for dinner. EXCITING! Dumplings are the #4 best thing in life by the way. I’ll tell you about the others later. Peace out!

Buds & Beer

I think it’s the first day of spring? I dunno if it was, but I was feeling it man. We spent the morning having breakfast and being lazy around the house. Then we took CB’s nan out for some lunch at The Bonnie Prince. The food was meh, but the company was nice. Then I bought some SOCKKKS!!! YEAAHH! SOCKS! YAY! WOO! SOCKS!

On the way back home we stopped for gas and ice creams. We took a detour down a dirt road we always talk about going down. We stopped along the road and trespassed onto a gorgeous chunk of property to look out over the ocean and the Gabarus village in the distance.

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Then we came home and played around in the backyard for a while. CB sorted out the shed, and I wandered around taking pictures. We burned out paper garbage, which I always find fun for some reason. I think its all the fire maybe. Anyway I was poking at the fire when I noticed a large feathery friend settle down on a tree along the perimeter of the yard.

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It was an eagle!! There is a very handsome eagle couple who live across the street. They dont usually come over because we feed the crows so they own our yard. They are not to be trifled with. I dont know where the crows were today, maybe recovering from the bag of Cheeseburger Slider chips I gave them, but the eagle snuck over to have a peek at us. Very curious. Did I mention I’m insane about eagles? I an insane about eagles.

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EAGLES!!!!

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Off he goes to the Missus.

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My walk around the yard was mostly this; moss, pinecones, and bits of branches. There is a bunch of oak trees around the house that Blair brought up from acorns.

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This is the house! Its cute, and pinkish.

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This is a really old brick from the old fireplace that Marie found a fox paw print embedded in it. Coooool

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I just like this rusty old lady bug bird feeder.

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So sunny!

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Little yellow well, marking the well!

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CB found a rusty old egg beater, when you press the stick downwards it spins the beater. Cooooool

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And he found this cool Tonka truck in the basement.

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And a copy of The Four Loves by C.S Lewis. Cute.

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I took a picture of the tub in Joan’s garden next door because it’s nice looking.

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The side of Joan’s house

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Peeking over the side of Joans porch. There’s a giant whale bone just chillin’ on a bench on the porch, and a collection of painted beach rocks.

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Joans front door. Kiiiind of looks like a witch lives here, if I didnt know better….

Alright, CB is making some Jerk Pork so Im going to go sort out my spices into jars so I stop dropping packages of spices all over the place and becoming enraged. YAY! Bye!

Rage Embolism

Toasty toasty

Look what I made! Ignore the explosion of ash and the 5 or 6 potential fire hazards and just admire my amazing kindling. I just went outside and cut that, with an AXE! Yeah, I am a BAD ASS! Bold italic underline font colour=bloodred!

Im so glad no one was watching me do it… But by log #10 I think I had gotten the swing of things. Look how slender and even those little kindlings are.  Look at that roaring beauty! It only lasted about 10 minutes, but Im working on it. I had just got it going and was shouting congratulations at myself, “Hoo-rah! What a stud! Making it burn, baby! Youre the best caveman. Natural Selection Chooses You, Cavemon!” etc, and I look back and the poodle is drinking my tea. Goddamnit.

I went to Kmart today and had a party with myself buying a file organizer, some q-tips, and a SKIPPING ROPE! WOOO! Since I got back I have been trying with all my might not to kill these bloody poodles. Everytime I look away from them they are shitting on the carpet, ripping open garbage bags and spraying rotten meat juice all over the floor, breaking something, eating my yogurt, and now the last fucking straw, drinking my goddamn tea. The sound of them constantly licking themselves makes me want to puke out my ass. I have started using the coaster on top of my tea instead of under it. I’m pretty sure I can hear one of them on the table in the kitchen eating all the butter. Im about to have a rage embolism and die and I know they will celebrate by eating my eyeballs.

I gotta skip this out.

Barmy Slurples Wig Shame

Preparing for camp time adventures is fun! It means trips to the discount clothing store for warm clothes and even better, trips to the army surplus store for cheap, rugged adventure necessities. We hit Save Mart in New Lynn and I got a plaid wool pullover and some warm pants that zip off into shorts. I goaded CB into trying on a red plaid jacket which just happened to fit him impeccably, so now we look like a couple of jolly ol Canadian Lumberjack Stereotypes. Woo! I also got a shirt so sweet it makes me want to roar in agony at the all consuming awesomeness. It has a dragons face on both the front AND back, aaahhhh so awesome! And the dragons mouth is on my breastular area so it makes it look like its got chubby cheeks! BAD ASS.

I also got told off by a nice ginger kiwi girl for trying on the colourful piles of wigs they had in a bin which caused me a momentary feeling of shame and embarrassment with my plaid jacket pulled halfway up my tum and a green afro sideways on my frightened head.

AND THEN

We ate some pies. I had cheesy mince chili bean and CB had chicken & kumera and we shared a Pash Pop or something like that. It from was from PIE OH MY and it was so delicious. We are learning that CB can make friends with anyone by making jokes about how he is larger than regular size, people seem to find that endearing. Moving on!

We hiked it over to Kiwi Disposals, which is apparently the South Pacifics largest army surplus provider. We grabbed a couple of waterproof packs that are French Army issue, one large for the sleeping bags and portable gas stove, and one small one for me to carry our food in. I also got CB an early birthday present. An awesome Daisy Sling Shot! We spent about an hour out back shooting rocks from the driveway at random recyclables. It was much fun, and we learned I am a really shit shot. CB did a nice dent in a bean can after 50 or 60 rocks, though.

Here are a few of the things we are bringing with us on our hikes. Mostly things that stab and things that burn, and containers for those things. Its going to be a fun trip. Right now I’m compiling a list of good hike foods. I want the most caloric density per oz. So that means…

SALAMI AND CHOCOLATE BARS FOR BREAKFAST! Yes! YES YES! YES!

Im just going to fill my bag with cadbury fruit n’ nut bars and chubs of baloney. Mmm MM. Im also going to make a batch of  granola bars and some chocolate chip cookies. As we’ve been finding out you burn a lot of calories trudging up and down hills all day. I came here in size 16 pants, 3 weeks later Im in size 12s! I’m hoping this trip taking walks around the country will cancel out the need for a gym membership. Soon I will be flexoring my rumpling muffels and bums of steel…

Afraid of it?

Here’s some of the stuff we’re taking!

French Army 30-50L pack
French Army 20L pack
Cheap Towels!
Exciting British Military Issue ground covers yayyy
Gas Burners x 2
CB and I both have our douk douk knives. One big and one little!
Sweet Austrian lighter. You can pull out the flame like a wee bullet and use it to light things.
Sling Shot!
Super Strong Para Cord for .. tying to things? Rope is useful!
Sweet Brass Zippo

Also, a tent and that kind of stuff, ya know the way these things go. Goodnight!

Burn it with FIRE!

Hey! Look what I just made with my sisterthing. Creme brulees, bitches! Coffee, as well as white chocolate flavours!

Silky smooth.

White Chocolate Creme Brulee

500ml 35% cream
1/2 cup sugar
250g white chocolate, chopped
6 egg yolks
2 tbsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

Put the kettle on to boil.

Heat cream + sugar until a ring of bubbles form around the sides of the pot. Add white chocolate and stir until melted into the mix.

Temper hot cream mix into yolks while whisking, a little a time until entirely blended together.

Pour through a fine mesh strainer into container with a lip that pours well. Add in vanilla.

Place 4 ramekins into a baking dish and fill each one up nearly to the top.

Pour hot water from the kettle into the baking dish, about halfway up the sides of the ramekins. Cover with tinfoil and bake 20-25 minutes. They should wiggle just the slightest bit in the middle when they’re done.

Let cool. Cover each creme brulee with a thin layer of white sugar and burn the tops using a torch or place under the broiler until the tops are caramelized. Bingo Bango!