Happy Canada Day, ya hosers!

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Hi!

It’s me! Remember? I have neglected this blog so badly, because it’s summer, and I have officially started living at my place of work. It’s been a bit much I think, I was feeling worn down by the grind. So we spent these days off together really trying to have a great, relaxing week end. Celebrated canada’s birthday by eating as much ice cream as possible and riding around on the motorcycle in the sunshine. Its making me feel more human. Not so much like KILLKILLKILL. Ya know?

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Growlers, the ice cream place on the island was open, had a BUBBLE MACHINE blowing bubbles all over. And they had maple ice cream. I had chocolate & molasses raisin bread flavours in a waffle cone. CB had blueberry and chocolate. It was.. in..cred..ible….

We headed to the arena for the Canada Day festivities!

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We found out that its all happening outside, ha.

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Kids spazzing out at the shindig. There was TWO different kinds of bouncy castle. I ate a cupcake and a hotdog. I put a flag in my pony tail and tried to put maple leaf temporary tattoos on my cheeks but licking them did no good.

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Awesome cute ladies serving the hoards of citizens. I love her apron made out of a quilt. Beautiful!

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Off to lunch!
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Fish and chips and beer and stinky malt vinegar and gravy on everything. YAY CANADA!

IMG_20150701_162736Yum.

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We took a ride out to Tilting and went up a rocky dirt road to Olivers Cove that we have always wanted to take a run up. So beautiful! It was a perfect day for random adventures.


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CB’s motorcycle thinking deep thoughts while staring at the sea….

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Little creek. 
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So much seaweed! 
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Gardening gloves on one pole, a pair of flippers on the other. I like how these folks garden. 

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Little pools of sea water dry up and leave salty patches on the rocks.

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Checking out the gardens. I see lots of potatoes and rhubarb.

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This is as far as we got due to an overwhelming desire for a nap. Next time we will go out to those trees and have a peek for some caribous. And now, Im full of fish & chips and ice cream and hot dogs and cupcakes and beer and sunshine so my day was pretty much perfect. Good night!




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February: Things I am Liking!

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Bonjooourrr

Man it is WINDY! I just ran out to throw a load of laundry into the dryer in the basement and the wind not only took some laundry out of the basket but took the whole goddamn basket out of my hands. It went careening with great comedy styling towards Walter Johns frozen potato patch at 70km an hour while I flapped along through the snow after it. I’ve engineered a kind of heavy towel tarp to go over top the next time I have to get a load dry. Now I am safe inside, with a cup of tea, watching an youtube video of a Russian lady slowly folding a towel into a decorative swan. I’ve watched this video about eighteen times and it never fails to make me feel super relaxed.

Ive been poking around reading a lot of blogs lately. Seemingly mostly by gals from NZ and it makes me miss it muchly. Its summer over there, and I miss the smell of that lovely island that is literally the polar opposite of this one. One girl does a weekly gratitude list and I realized it’s been forever since I did a “Things I Am Liking!” post. Here goes!

THINGS I AM LIKING IN FEBRUARY!

partridgeberryapplepie

 

Pie.

Love pie.

I am the most badestassenist genius to put pie on the menu at work. Because, it means, I get to make pie every other day! I have a deep spiritual connection with the act of making pie. Making pie makes me feel one with the universe like a star stuck up in the great web of the cosmos, waiting for the Space Spider of Time to unwrap it from it’s gauzy cage of ageless light and gobble it up. Or something. A La Mode gives me bones in my pants.

 

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This! Winter. I know, I should hate it, but this is a picture taken on the worst most wintery day ever and it was still beautiful as all hell. I took it while I was out foraging around like some mad badger for herbage hidden deep beneath the crunchy snow. The wind nearly sandblasting my face off the whole time, it was still nice..

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This is the kind of junk I was after. The snow let up for long enough for me to hike it to the top of the hill and grab some good stuff. I’ve never seen caribou moss with red shit on it before, I think probably it was super poisonous fungus… SUPER POISONOUS FUNGUSSSSS!

I avoided that patch..

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My awesome unicorn mug. Nicole got it for my for christmas and its amazing. I like to fill it with juice and sip it ponderously during important business meetings. 

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FOOD! We havent been eating very interesting stuff lately, but our chef sent us home with a couple nice aged P.E.I steaks on valentines day. I made broccoli and cheese sauce to go with it, and CB and I watched supernatural while making steak-love noises together. Romance!

I love all kinds of other things this month but I dont have any more pictures. I have been a neglectful blogger lately, sorry. Also I havent called you in weeks, mum! Tomorrow is my day off and we shall skype!

Toodles, y’all.

Yo, Canada

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Lalala, happy Canada day!

When I was a kid this meant spending the days ahead making a cardboard schoolhouse that my dad would fill with fireworks and explode. My cousins and us would sit on the deck watching it burn while shouting inanity, celebrating the end of school. My dad always went overboard on the fireworks, which as a not-so-secretly budding pyromaniac, was something that had my approval.  One year we melted our neighbor Skips wheelbarrow with my schoolhouse effigy. One of my proudest moments; chewing on a corn, watching everyone scramble while the rubbermaid tub went up in a tower of flames. It also marked the season of All You Can Eat Popsicles. My tongue was permanently orange. Fireworks, bbq and all that good family jazz. Wholesome stuff, like pies.

But I’m old now, and everything generally is worse haha. I have the day off, but I’m spending it alone as CB is doing a double. I rarely even ever acknowlegde July 1st as being a thing. Aside from being frustrated that the post office and bank are closed. But here in this small island, everyone is all excited– having big community BBQs, and three-legged races and flying ENORMOUS Canada flags you can see from space. All kinds of spirited shit like that..and I feel a bit patriotic almost. Sitting here drinking my cheap beer, eating this block of old cheddar like it’s an apple. Yeah. Yay Canada, you go girl.

So I’m celebrating by eating maple flavoured ice cream in the sunshine. It was the pinnacle of my day, and didn’t last nearly long enough. It was followed by a brief nap outside on a patch of clover, in the sun. I kidnapped CB from work and made him eat cheeseburgers with me, because I was worried he might not eat enough and embarrass me by dying of starvartion in a restaurant kitchen. That was nice. What else.. I dunno, we did a wedding this week which meant making a wedding cake which is always pretty nerve wracking but it came out alright. Dessert stuff seems to be well received by everyone eating it. I’m working too much, but I can now button the last button on my whites so thats a plus.

Oh, RHUBARB IS IN! Finally! So its rhubarb everything now. Rhubarb sorbet, compote, pie, jam, ice cream, panna cotta, just straight up slices dipped in sugar! Oh baby jesus do I love those sour sticks of goodness!

Oh also, I discovered My Happy Place. Previously it was standing outside a petstore in Barrie with my sister, watching about a dozen bunnies run around and fart on each other. But now it’s on a motorcycle. We have been spending every minute not at work, riding around the island. Mostly we just ride to a place to eat a softserve cone, and then ride to the next place and eat another one. But its.. awesome. I didnt think I would like riding on the back, but its really relaxing. Watching the world blur by all black and green. The steady hum of the engine, and the smell of everything in the world filling your nose. Its perfect. And makes me want my own. So watch out, road users of North America, I’m comin’

 

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I found out what these are! BLUEBERRY BLOSSOMS! DUH! They taste like blueberry’s skin. Very fragrant, we have been using them on dishes all week.

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OH PS I got my old busted ass iphone working again so its now my camera. Because no one can read my boring life rambles without some pictures of pretty flowers to keep their attention.

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Perfect nap spot.

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Second perfect nap spot. Albeit unsolicited. I just sat down on the couch for a minute and then work up an hour later, shoes still on, with a drool covered elbow, on the couch.

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Baby creeping juniper.

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These pretty little snow white star blossoms are pretty, non?

IMG_0536CLOVER. Yum.

Beer & Berries

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This pretty much sums up my day off. Beer and berries. I got a nice little haul of bloobs considering I was only picking for about 20 minutes. And a dish of rose hips for tea or jelly. There was enough to fill my large white bucket but I wasnt sure if they were going to get bigger so I’ll wait a couple of weeks before I pick more.

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The best dinner for a sunny day. Sticky sweet garlicy ribs, a roast chicken and some creamy coleslaw. Yeah boy! I made a big old pitcher of iced tea to have with it.

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You know I just bought it because of the logo.. such a sucker.. I managed to wait until after lunch with CB in his shack before I broke into these badboys. Leftover cabbage rolls covered in cheese.

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The a bucket of blue.. the beginnings of something beautiful..

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Boiling up those yummy porky bones.

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So dark.. almost cajun style. Really sweet, really salty, really sticky. Yum.

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And to finish it all of.. ice cream cones and sunsets..

CB and I spent the evening watching Futurama and dreaming up new dessert menu ideas. We have some cool things planned! Can’t wait to make them! Perfect day off.

Smoosh’d

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AHHH I smoosh’d my cone. Bummer.

CB and I had TWO days off together! We spent the first one in Gander, buying things like sim cards and ya know, pants. For our butts. So our butts arent hanging out and stuff. It was .. awful, but the best thing is it’s over with! A lady body checked me in Walmart over a pair of mens underpants…

We had our first Fishman’s Brewis! Which is soaked hard tack bread, salt cod and  SCRUNCHINS! *opera singing* It has changed my whole life. Oh Brewis, of my life, brewis of my heart, BREWIS OF MY SOUL! Who knew rock hard bread soaked in water could be so tasty. Possibly the most delicious thing of all time, but I felt like I needed to run a marathon afterwards. We also went to Pizza Delight because I am weak in the knees for pizza..

Yesterday we went for a walk around Joe Batts and ate some nice things too. We got a PO box so we dont have to put our address as “The Trailer Behind The Wood Shop” on forms anymore. We had a nice lunch at Nicole’s Cafe. CB had chowder with a roll and a cup of tea, and I had a snow crab panani.. panini?? Pinana. Which was the BEST THING IN THE WORLD. For dessert we finally got to the ice cream store on it’s very last day of the season. I got two scoops, partridgeberry jam tart and molasses raisin bread. It had bits of bread in it! CRAZY! I was so distracted by the pure flavour that I crushed it in my powerful paws.

And then there was this..

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Midnight snack. Frozen Cadbury chocolate mousse cake, a box of oatmeal cream pies and earl grey & whisky hot toddies, like a boss. It’s all Emma’s fault and also on an unrelated note she may be the best roomie ever…

Uhscrim dinnum!

turkish pizza

Yo.

Today, CB and I, went to the doctors to find out the results of our blood and awkward pee in cup tests. After some annoyance when we found out the blood taking lady nurse lady had written our names completely wrong. Not so great when dealing with immigration to give them blood tests with random people’s names on them. Anyway, we got that sorted out, and you’ll be pleased to hear we are both without any of the Hepatitis alphabet, clear of syphilis, and with fully functioning kidneys! Yayy! We were both cleared as “generally fit human beings”. Take that, WORLD! So naturally we celebrated our Doctor signing off on our healthy bods with an ice cream and pizza cheese and sugar bomb coma party! Hahaha. You’re so jealous.

Thats right. I have been so healthy lately that I got to pick ice cream, ANY ICE CREAM I WANTED, and eat it FOR DINNER. I got two little pints of this stuff called Holy Cow.. one was cinnamon doughnuts, caramel and roasted peanuts and CB’s was chocolate with marshmallow and toffee.. it was.. totally.. great..

And then for dessert, we drove downtown to this place on Queen Street for woodfired Turkish PizzaAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAH! I love it.

And then we had to walk all the way up the tremendous 4813109238 mile hill that is Queen Street. And I nearly puked pizza into my pants 11 times and CB was all like “eye roll hurry up peanut youre so slow and stupid” and I was all “faaart burp burp fart oof sorry barf” and then we were like.. lets go home.

And now we are! Time for sleeps. Goodnight chumps who didnt have ice cream for dinner. You are all so sad. Hahaha. Pizza for dessert. We are the best! WE DO WHAT WE WANT! No moms or dads or doctors can stop us from celebrating our fitness with tubs of ice cream! WAHAHAHA!

Eternally yours,

Kara Lalala

Zoo Times

We finally went to the zooooooooo!

It was gorgeous on Wednesday, sunny and hot and perfect weather for zooification. We packed the camera and a bottle of water, dug out my straw cowboy hat from the backseat of the Honda and off we went! Auckland Zoo is a medium sized zoo, with lots and lots of animals. But the best and most surprising thing about it was the lack of cages.. You could get right up close to most of the animals, like monkeys, galapagos tortoise and keas. We spent the whole day there, walking around being way over stimulated shouting at things like excited 8 year olds and eating ice cream. It was pretty great.

We went at noon, the hottest time of the day, so most animals were having a nap, like this Cheetah who was snoozing next to a giant bloody femur. We missed out on a few animals because of the heat though, like elephants, tigers and penguins, so that just means another trip to the zoo is in order. During February and March Auckland Zoo is open late on wednesday nights, so you can take a walk around in the evening. They will have bands playing in the rotunda and I WILL GO TO THERE.

Some animals didn’t seem to mind the heat. The Africa section was pretty happening. This is a giraffe mom with two babies. They shared their space with some ostriches and a bunch of little zebras.

These are some kind of awesome crane. They stood about 4 1/2 – 5 feet high and seemed very peaceful.

I stared lovingly at this one for a long time, telling it how pretty it was.

Finally it got bored of me and went over to have a little sit in the shade. LOOK AT ITS LEGS! So creepy.

I don’t have a picture, but between the cranes and this Japanese garden we stopped by to say hello to a chimpanzee named Janie. She’s 57 years old and one of the oldest chimpanzee’s living in captivity in the world. She’s got asthma and diabetes, but despite that she’s looking pretty good for an old girl. The zoo is very modern and updated, with lots of trees and each animal has an environment to live in that is very much like one they came from. But Janie still lives in her old zoo enclosure, which is definitely from another era. Concrete walls painted with murals and steel bars, but that’s her home, it’s what she’s used to, and she likes it. She has tv to watch, a radio, some sweet posters of sharks on the wall. She has lots of toys laying around, and things to play with when she feels like it.  Usually she carries around a red plastic phone everywhere she goes, tucking it up under her belly while she swings from one place to another, but she didn’t have it on her today.

We stood outside her cage, and said “Hello Janie” to her and waved. She was laying down taking a nap with her hand on her forehead, but when she heard us she got up and came down to see us. It felt so sad actually, like saying hi to a very hairy old woman… seeing her up and about made tons of people flock over and she looked at us forlornly and disappeared to hide from them. I love zoos, but sometimes, they make me desperately sad. It’s okay there, CB is going to move in with her and give her his iPhone to play with and she is going to take care of him like a baby!

This is a pygmy marmoset. Its the size of my fist and has a little scowly face like gollum. I like it.

This is an African Conure I made friends with.

We watched otters playing around until the place got swarmed with kids screaming at the tops of their lungs in a variety of languages to make their parents come over and see the otters. The otters ran off and hid under some logs.

And look at this mighty beauty! A galapagos turtle just walking around, having a snack with a pukeko!

Om nom nom, loving me some grass.

We watched the tortoise very slowly notice the pukeko, and then the hunt was on. One achingly slow step at a time it “lunged” towards the bird. The pukeko just looked up, and walked slightly to the left, evading the fierce predator. The tortoise, defeated, decided to go have a nap under  the tree. That’s when it got real. There was ANOTHER TORTOISE ALREADY THERE that I totally just thought was a rock the whole time. They fought for nap spot supremacy.

There was no winner or loser, they came to a compromise and just decided to share. What’s even better than a turtle butt, you ask? A turtle with it’s head all jammed up inside it’s shell. So great. CB says it makes him think of very cold water……

Around the corner was a tortoise house, that was very cool and shady and had a bunch of nice fresh black soil for turtle sleeps. There was the biggest mack daddy tortoise in there, going up the steps towards it. Every step he took a little nap, woke up, slowly pulled himself up to the next one, took a nap.. and so on. This is him glaring at me for judging him. Staring right into my SOUL as if he knows how it takes me to get up the stairs too… how does he know….

Then we found the SEEEEEEEALS!

So cute with its little tube body and flippers all flopping around!

And then this door opened, and a trainer walked in followed by a tubby little tube of a fur seal! It flomped along, like a little googly eyed dog with no legs, and I thought about whether or not I could steal it…

The trainer would have him press his nose to her fist, and wait, and then he got a fish. I’m not sure what they were training, fist kisses for fishes? Everytime the fur seal got one though, the sea lion would shoot up out of the water and wait for his. The trainer would do a hand motion meaning “no food for you” and he would dramatically faint backwards into the water at the injustice of it all. I could have watched these guys all damn day.

If you go through the penguin exhibit (which was COMPLETELY EMPTY by the way, and I was heart broken) you can go underneath the seal exhibit and see underwater in their pool.

Graceful chubby torpedos.

These are some spider monkeys. I am afraid many of their attributes including but not limited to: their quick movements, strong fingers, tiny mouths full of sharp teeth and little penises flopping all around. Might I just mention that there was NO CAGE AROUND THE MONKEYS! Just a moat of monkey pee water! I was 8 feet away from these guys. It was terrifying. At one point they all gathered in this one spot, I assumed to formulate a plan of attack, but they were just having a snack… for now…

Then we heard all kinds of commotion and ran up this wood chip path to another monkey exhibit. This one was for a gibbon, and it was having a grand old time. It was swinging across the window of it’s gibbon house and hooting and hollering it up. Everytime he howled, all the kids in the room would lose their shit, and then he’d howl more, and they would go nuts again. Every kid in there was completely transfixed on his little monkey and it was loving the attention. We made a little video.

Some meerkats, meerkatting it up. Being alert, digging holes, having little naps.. ya know, meerkat shit.

*meerkat*

I am not sure what this is. Possibly a gremlin, or somebody’s russian babushka enjoying a slice of rock melon.

Hip, hip, HIPPOTAMUSES! Hippopotomi? We watched them swim around in the water, scaring the hell out of some ducks. When they would submerge themselves they would displace literally a tonne of water out of their pool and it would splash over the side, nearly taking a bunch of baby ducks with it.

Snorfing some water.

“Quack quack qua–ohhh shiiiiiitttttttt”

This is a little pigeon about the size of a baby shoe (standard unit of smallness measurement), there were a couple dozen of them zipping all over, making the saddest little dove noises.

These are some KEAS! They are native to New Zealand’s South Island and we were lucky enough to be in their enclosure during snack time. The zookeeper walked around with a bucket of peanuts and hid them under piles of rocks and buried them in the ground for the Keas to forage fore. They were amazing to watch. One of them hopped down suddenly behind this little japanese girl and scared the beejesus out of her. The zookeeper gave her a feather.

Looking for some tasty peanuts.

The older ones knew to never keep their eyes off the blue bucket.

Jazzy hairstyle.

A pretty white rhino having a snooze in the sand next to some springboks.

The last exhibit of the day. We walked over to see the turtles with a group of families and suddenly all the turtles decided it was a good time for a synchronized turtle orgy. I nearly pee’d myself watching their little turtle sex faces, mouths open like they were just screaming “YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” in their heads. Awesome. Notice how the little one is doing it to the lady turtles face end…. atleast it wasn’t monkeys this time.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the zoo.