Windowledge

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Ive spent most of the afternoon writing blogs and eating strange snacks. It feels nice to indulge in 2 of my favourite hobbies. Snacks & blogs. Slaps & bongs. Baps & snogs. In a few minutes Ill get up and feed Sweetpea, who has finished napping and is now staring at me very intensely from the couch across the room. Trying to will me out of this recliner with the pure devastating force of her doggy mind. Then we will go for a walk, and she will get to pee on flowers, which always puts her in a very good mood. Its very grey, foggy and a bit rainy out but its nice and warm. Despite that I have a fire on because its nice. Its probably about 30 degrees in here, but whatever! I love combusting trees!

ANYWAY. Early this afternoon I wandered around the house taking pictures of random things. I havent done that in forever. So I thought Id put the pictures up, even though they are pretty boring, its a nice little time capsule of October 2016.

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Nothing feels more like home to me then a pineapple slowly rotting away on a windowsill. Its been a decorative feature of nearly every place we have lived. I like to imagine they are staring wistfully out onto the cold day outside and remembering the tropical island they were plucked from. Thinking about their mom pineapple, and the pina colada they will never become. Sorry pineapples, its your fault for being so delicious.

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These are my fancy wines I bought for cooking. And drinking apparently. Mostly drinking *burp*

Just wanted to show them off so you know factually what a fancy bitch I am. I shouldnt drink wine because it gives me The Sads and makes me cry over cereal commercials. But c’est le vie. J’ai soif. Wuh huh huh… (thats French for laughter, like the cook in The Little Mermaid, you know?)

GREEN THUMB ALERT! That plant there is called a goldfish plant or a dolphin plant or something. Whatever, its pretty cool looking and pretty happy on the kitchen windowsill. I shared a bit of wine with it so its drunk now and growing all over the fucking place.

Beside it is my nans old kitchen timer, one of my most precious objects, and a glass full of ivy seedlings. I have 5 ivy plants now. Does anyone want an ivy ??

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I dont know why I am so fascinated with documenting the inside of my fridge but I am, so there. Here we have all the food groups represented, sweet potatoes, eggs, mayonnaise. I keep my green onions in a jar of water because that way they last 2 weeks instead of 2 days. 79cents a bunch is no joke people, Im not messing around, having those suckers get all dry on me. I save the root and plant it in the pot with my ivy plant, so then I have ivy and green onions shooting up all over and it makes no visual sense but is handy. We stretch 79 cents in this house, damn it!

There’s my soup stock that I should be making into onion soup right now, but I became lazy after wine. Oh and I made cranberry juice by boiling cranberries in sugary water. Its good. The door: 1/2 a lime, yeast, 389719723 jars of half eaten jam, 3 kinds of hot sauce, and donair sauce for squirting on pizza.

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Holy Mackerel! Photo by Paddy Barry,  hanging in a place of sunny yellow prestige.

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This salty old chap reflecting the windows in the kitchen.

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Upstairs this guy is hanging over the terrrlitt in our Salle Du Bain, its a dad running upstairs in the night to pee. CB says he had like a family trailing behind him at one point but they are all gone now. LOL. This wine is making me so fucking morose lololol.

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Ummmm.. I took this while peeing, because the light was hitting that old pitcher nicely. Sorry.. Probably shouldnt have typed that. Oh well, too late now, absolutely nothing I can do. Once something is typed on the internet it can never be backspaced.

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This owl is cute.

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This is a pink verigated I saved from a clearance rack in walmart. Who puts a living thing on a clearance rack! Sick, people. Sick. Shes doing hella good up in the bathroom.

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This is a wall in our bedroom. Those are postcards from our friends, some antlers CB’s poppy had mounted, and a ton of old books. Closet doors are too expensive so this was my solution, to hang curtains. Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart.

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Pineapple lights, light up my life…

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This is a lamp that needs a shade, but Im holding out for a funky one, in front of a painting of the one eyed kitten I did in highschool, and a postcard I wrote to my Gram in NZ and never sent. Sorry Gram. Also my strawberry angel man, strumming the tune of my heart.

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This is the small bathroom downstairs. Its super, super blue. I love it.

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Some old javex bottles we found in the forest, and treasures from our travels. Shells and coins mostly.

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This mirror is amazing. That is all.

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This is a… tree? Made out of mussel shells that CB’s Nan Marie bought for me as a present. I think its so beautiful, and I love how it reflects the light in the bathroom.

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Last picture. Living room window looking out at one of the bigger apple trees, my dried hydrangeas and an aloe plant I got because I burn myself so often at work.

Okay thats all the nonsense I have time for today. Gonna go walk Sweetpea before she just packs up and leaves. See ya!

Pocket Rocks

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It’s all shades of grey outside today. Air is thick with the mulchy smell of mossy lawn uncovered by the thaw. Black spruce slough off what’s left of the heavy snow from slumping branches. Landing with pops and crackles on wet peat beneath. Standing still & breathing slow, the sound reminds me of a bowl of Rice Krispies & milk. Smack, spackle, plop. Stink of fish & diapers wafting in at low tide. Crows zigzag to and fro over the yard, checking for offerings from last nights dinner. It’s a no go, crow, sorry, dude. No such things as leftovers on Pizza Night!

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I’ve been sitting on the couch for a few hours reading the internet. I feel like the weather. Heavy, stinky wet butts and sad crows wanting lasagna reflect my inner self completely. I laid in bed so late into the morning, half watching CB play a Marvel game on his tablet half staring at the ceiling. “What are you thinking about, Peanut?” In my head I had been designing an elaborate costume for myself to wear, in the shape of a pizza slice, but with customizable toppings made of silk and satin. Cheese of soft brushed out Angora wool dyed mozzarella-yellow with red crinoline tomato sauce underneath. Khaki button mushrooms with gills embroidered in brown silk ribbon, patent leather onions, velveteen green peppers and corduroy pepperoni. Tiny super glam gold lamé anchovies sparkling with silver sequins wrapped in black fishnet.. flannel olives..stuffed with.. polyester pimento…. ?… drifting in and out of dream state while I pieced together my beautiful pizza ball gown.. I dreamt last night kids from my public school opened a pizza joint in our old school and I was taste testing their products. I think I have a pizza fever. Eyes open now I reach over and grab the last slice. It’s been waiting patiently on my dresser all night for me to finish it off. The crust is cold and too chewy, but the cheese is still nice for me to bite. Yum. i love pizza. I love pizza. I Love Pizza. L.O.V.E.P.I.Z.Z.A

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Yesterday CB an I went to look at a house thats for sale. We drove for a couple hours to see it. An old farm house with a barn, used to have horses. It smelled like creek water and was covered in dead flies. I think they were keeping an animal in the laundry room. Nice enough really, just too far away. We drove home dreaming of nicer places, and stopped for pizza. We watched X-Files and ate the pizza, and after, the best ice cream sandwiches ever on the planet. CB says, we are the age now that Mulder and Scully were when we watched it as kids. Mind blown. I love Mulder & Scully. M.U.L.D.E.R.&.S.C.U.L.L.Y

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CB looks over and laughs at the look of me. He’s playing Fallout, and Im on the other bed sitting on top of the clean laundry. My outfit today consists of my flannel onesie, teal green with white stars, Arlene got me for christmas. Floral slippers, CB’s black sweater and he fashioned me a hooded cape out of a flannel blanket. There’s rocks in the pocket of CB’s sweater. I smell badly of old rotten armpits but I don’t plan on changing out of this today. Its comfy. Blogging Babushka, becoming one with the laundry. We don’t have jobs but we have been so busy, today we are taking a day off.

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I haven’t written a blog in a while. We have been busy adventuring, and driving around, looking at stuff, dreaming and thinking and planning. Cooking. Eating. I feel the stress leaving my blood. We are going to start going to the YMCA, to the gym. There’s a pool there and I bought a cheap bathing suit. Im so excited to swim!!

Anyway.. I’m going to go drink some pop and read for a while. I have been reading so much! I’ve got that nerd enertia that comes after I read for a while. You know where you cant stop reading? You just read and read and read… Its nice. Okay, BYE! I’ll blog again soon because I have lots of pictures of foods we have been eating that I want to show you.

BYE!

 

Hoot Toody

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Hello my spicy sweet pfeffernüsseses!

Its about 3:45 on a Sunday in November. Meh. Something about the absolute averageness of the date and time, its lack of significance and permanence, reminded me about my blog. And thusly, therein, hence thereupon, I felt compelled to write some shit on the internet. Rarely a good idea.. but lets see how it goes.

Let’s seee… work was below average.. uneventful.. did lots of cleaning which feels nice.. sparkly cleeeeean. Made some nice muffins with stuff. We separate our muffin mix into wet and dry components so that the next day we just add the wet to the dry and bingo bango–!!time saver!!. But today I labelled them “Dry Muff” and “Wet Muff” because I was being lazy and then noticed the containers in the fridge sometime later and nearly dry heaved. Had to relabel them.. so unintentionally nasty. So you’re welcome, Nicole, you don’t have to deal with wet and dry muffs tomorrow at 4am.

Buttercream can also be lazily shorthanded down to “butt cream.” Thats just good old fashioned fun though. Hilarious. Every. Single. Time. Hilarious.

Had some leftover chicken curry for dinner. Curry just sits and gets ever more delicious, spices getting all mingled and tasty taste happens. The magic of flavour… the flavour of magic: mint chocolate chip.

Im now sipping on a cup of tea that is equal parts water and whiskey, with a splash of milk for them healthy bones. I’m being concientious towards my future, brittle, old lady self! You’re welcome, me, reading this in 2085. Congrats on not dying yet, you old bag! Must be the pure spite keeping you going, eh! Maybe I should be nice and make the font size larger for my future self.. no thats dumb.

Also, I’m really happy to be inside in our warm house and not out in.. THE COLD NOVEMBER RAIN

Sorry.

Okay just one more!!

Slash is/was so epic. Damn. Damn it. So powerful.

Anyway.. I dunno.. I’d write a bit about whats going on in the world but thats not as interesting as hearing about my tea and curry situation. Its weird, I always forget about evil. Just minding my own business, farting and eating ice cream and then BAM. Evil happens. Its so shocking. Should knock it off really.. enough with all that. Lets shift focus from killing each other to instead, lets say, dessert. Let us sublimate our inner monsters, by baking cookies. Make cake, not war? Its way better then the murder of innocents. Bahhh…

Anyway look at this picture:

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The sun shine yesterday morning glowing through the lace curtains to make a yellow pattern on the wall was beautiful in juxtaposition to our fugly floral pink chair. Its like.. society…. Ya know? ART.

Yeah I knew this blog post wasnt going to go well. Im too full of curry farts and Jameson to be able to concentrate fully. CB and I have been clearing house getting ready for the move. We can only take what will fit in the back seat and trunk of our Buick, so we are having to be choosey. Its really nice to go through every object we own and think “Do I love this?” “Do I need this” “what the fuck is this..?” “what did this used to be, and what made it this way!?”.. etc.. and only take a few precious things. The only sadness is in dealing with the books.. even living like a nomad, I seem to collect too many books. Oh well, it will be good to give them away to people. Unleash my predilections for weird science fiction/horror upon the unsuspecting island. Lol, soz.

Ugghhhhhhh yeah.. Im bored of this, going to go so something else. CB has been sitting in uninterrupted silence for nearly an hour now so that needs to be remedied. Perhaps I shall shoot him in the face with a Nerf bullet. No. Ill make some cookies.

It took me an hour to write this. I need to go back to school. My brain, is no worky.

Goodnight my dearest loves. I love you so much. I love you like Axel Rose loved that ill-fated super model.

xxoxxoxoxoxoxXOx00X0