Windowledge

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Ive spent most of the afternoon writing blogs and eating strange snacks. It feels nice to indulge in 2 of my favourite hobbies. Snacks & blogs. Slaps & bongs. Baps & snogs. In a few minutes Ill get up and feed Sweetpea, who has finished napping and is now staring at me very intensely from the couch across the room. Trying to will me out of this recliner with the pure devastating force of her doggy mind. Then we will go for a walk, and she will get to pee on flowers, which always puts her in a very good mood. Its very grey, foggy and a bit rainy out but its nice and warm. Despite that I have a fire on because its nice. Its probably about 30 degrees in here, but whatever! I love combusting trees!

ANYWAY. Early this afternoon I wandered around the house taking pictures of random things. I havent done that in forever. So I thought Id put the pictures up, even though they are pretty boring, its a nice little time capsule of October 2016.

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Nothing feels more like home to me then a pineapple slowly rotting away on a windowsill. Its been a decorative feature of nearly every place we have lived. I like to imagine they are staring wistfully out onto the cold day outside and remembering the tropical island they were plucked from. Thinking about their mom pineapple, and the pina colada they will never become. Sorry pineapples, its your fault for being so delicious.

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These are my fancy wines I bought for cooking. And drinking apparently. Mostly drinking *burp*

Just wanted to show them off so you know factually what a fancy bitch I am. I shouldnt drink wine because it gives me The Sads and makes me cry over cereal commercials. But c’est le vie. J’ai soif. Wuh huh huh… (thats French for laughter, like the cook in The Little Mermaid, you know?)

GREEN THUMB ALERT! That plant there is called a goldfish plant or a dolphin plant or something. Whatever, its pretty cool looking and pretty happy on the kitchen windowsill. I shared a bit of wine with it so its drunk now and growing all over the fucking place.

Beside it is my nans old kitchen timer, one of my most precious objects, and a glass full of ivy seedlings. I have 5 ivy plants now. Does anyone want an ivy ??

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I dont know why I am so fascinated with documenting the inside of my fridge but I am, so there. Here we have all the food groups represented, sweet potatoes, eggs, mayonnaise. I keep my green onions in a jar of water because that way they last 2 weeks instead of 2 days. 79cents a bunch is no joke people, Im not messing around, having those suckers get all dry on me. I save the root and plant it in the pot with my ivy plant, so then I have ivy and green onions shooting up all over and it makes no visual sense but is handy. We stretch 79 cents in this house, damn it!

There’s my soup stock that I should be making into onion soup right now, but I became lazy after wine. Oh and I made cranberry juice by boiling cranberries in sugary water. Its good. The door: 1/2 a lime, yeast, 389719723 jars of half eaten jam, 3 kinds of hot sauce, and donair sauce for squirting on pizza.

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Holy Mackerel! Photo by Paddy Barry,  hanging in a place of sunny yellow prestige.

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This salty old chap reflecting the windows in the kitchen.

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Upstairs this guy is hanging over the terrrlitt in our Salle Du Bain, its a dad running upstairs in the night to pee. CB says he had like a family trailing behind him at one point but they are all gone now. LOL. This wine is making me so fucking morose lololol.

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Ummmm.. I took this while peeing, because the light was hitting that old pitcher nicely. Sorry.. Probably shouldnt have typed that. Oh well, too late now, absolutely nothing I can do. Once something is typed on the internet it can never be backspaced.

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This owl is cute.

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This is a pink verigated I saved from a clearance rack in walmart. Who puts a living thing on a clearance rack! Sick, people. Sick. Shes doing hella good up in the bathroom.

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This is a wall in our bedroom. Those are postcards from our friends, some antlers CB’s poppy had mounted, and a ton of old books. Closet doors are too expensive so this was my solution, to hang curtains. Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart.

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Pineapple lights, light up my life…

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This is a lamp that needs a shade, but Im holding out for a funky one, in front of a painting of the one eyed kitten I did in highschool, and a postcard I wrote to my Gram in NZ and never sent. Sorry Gram. Also my strawberry angel man, strumming the tune of my heart.

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This is the small bathroom downstairs. Its super, super blue. I love it.

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Some old javex bottles we found in the forest, and treasures from our travels. Shells and coins mostly.

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This mirror is amazing. That is all.

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This is a… tree? Made out of mussel shells that CB’s Nan Marie bought for me as a present. I think its so beautiful, and I love how it reflects the light in the bathroom.

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Last picture. Living room window looking out at one of the bigger apple trees, my dried hydrangeas and an aloe plant I got because I burn myself so often at work.

Okay thats all the nonsense I have time for today. Gonna go walk Sweetpea before she just packs up and leaves. See ya!

Strawberry Angel Man

Strawberry Angel Man composes sweet sonnets for Small Blue Cat

Some how.. some way.. I am now watching wrestling…

The television lulled me in with an action packed episode of McGuyver, wherein he liberates the entire population of China using just palm fronds and gusto, and now Im watching guys in very small underpants tossing each other around. HOLY SHIT. On the television, as I type,  there is a guy with  A GINGER BEARD, wearing a t-shirt, and no pants, just tiny underpants. THAT IS THE GROSSEST COMBINATION OF THINGS. I’m too busy puking in my pants to finish writing this sent–

Okay, it’s cool, I’ve left the room. Phew. That was.. getting pretty out of control.

Anyroad! I have many awesome things! Firstly, CB, Rosie and I went to the market this morning, and I fell in love with an angel.

A strawberry angel man strumming a guitar and bringing tears to his eyes causing his mascara to run. Its the most beautiful little thing Ive ever seen. And then I found a little blue terracotta cat and they were a match made in heaven. Rosie had to lend me a dollar to buy it cause I’m poor and have no dignity, but hes all mine now! I wandered around the market behind Rosie and CB staring down at my beautiful little strawberry angel and I almost missed out on this awesome 70’s coloured crock pot! This nice old lady with knitted gloves wrapped it in a tea towel for us and we took it home. Oh Im gonna make so many baked beans, and oatmeal, and ribs, and stew and soup and.. other sorts of things like that! Woo!

And then we went home to put laundry on and clean up.. yaddayaddayadda boring

But then.. we’re at home.. and our room is so messy and dark.. and I kept looking outside at the gorgeous winter day, with the sun shining and the warm breeze and the butterflies landing on the noses of frolicking baby lambs… So we went back out!

We went to an Asian supermarket and bought some miso soup paste, seaweed and green onions for miso soup snacks. Then we went to the Chinese candy store! We walked in and the lady says “Oh good! So happy to see you! I like you! I like you being here! Happy day!” and opened all the packages of candies and made us try them! IT WAS AMAZING! Some candy was actually pork though, which was startling… and some candy was very very salty plums.. and some candies were extremely sour. In the end I bought some chewy melon candies and a bag of “creamy prune” candies. Mmmmm Creamy Prune!

Prooooon Candy?

Then we stopped for some lunch at a Chinese restaurant. I was hoping for dumplings but they didnt have them so I got a “hot pot”. Probably the worst decision of all time.

Devil’s Soup.

There it is. It looks gorgeous, but don’t let that fool you. It was about 600 degrees. That red film on top is bloody chili oil that sticks to your lips and simultaneously burns and cooks them. The spoon is infuriatingly incapable and trying to wrestle slippery oily vegetables into my mouth with chopsticks was not working well either. Trying to scoop out the glass noodles at the bottom of the bowl, keep them teetering at the end of my chopsticks and furiously try to slurp them up before they fell back into the bowl or all over the table usually ended up with spicy hot noodles in my eye. Fuck it, I’ll just pick the damn bowl up and drink it like a giant cup– AHH ITS 1000 DEGREES AND WEIGHS 15 POUNDS! Why is it so heavy! There’s soup everywhere. My nose is running from the spiciness, Ive got bok choy in my bra somehow. Christ almighty. CB was having a great old time watching me try to conquer my soup while he ate his normal pork so easily with his mouth not even crying. ARGH! It was like torture soup! I put my head up and cried to the sky, angrily stabbing my soup with my chopsticks and growling. AAAAAAAAHHHHH! SOOOOOOUP! WHYYYYY!!!

So I gave up and just ate all my candies.

And now here’s Gracie!